A Lasso is Not a Dating Tool - Part 2

[toady2moo]

Christmas saw freezing temperatures and the occasional storm with freezing rain and sleet. Only four of the cowboys stayed back: Mark, Joey, Aaron and Jesse. The rest had taken the time off Jeff had offered and had travelled back home to spend the time with their families. Jared, Anita, and Jesse spent most of Christmas day in the kitchen, cooking. Two days earlier, while riding back from town, Jesse had come across a fat young stag that had moved down from the higher country, and, knowing it would make a delicious addition to their Christmas dinner, he shot it, brought it back to the ranch, and - prepared it. They would not only have plenty of venison for their dinner but also enough to last them at least a week. Once everything was cooked, the seven of them sat around the homestead’s large wooden dining table and enjoyed their Christmas supper. After supper, they all spent the rest of the evening sharing stories, except for Jesse, who sat silently in the corner of the sitting room, although he did laugh at the occasional joke.

After everyone said their good nights, Jensen lay back onto the ground just outside of the homestead to look up at the stars. He chuckled to himself. Most of the clothing that he now owned had been given to him by Jared, who had grown out of them years before. He thought about how his father would be shocked at the thought of him wearing clothing that was not either bought new or custom made. For the past ten years Jensen hadn’t cared if the clothes were new or old, and appreciated everything that was given to him.

Jensen had been delighted to see a letter waiting for him when he went in to town; his mother wrote that she was glad he had found a job and seemed to be happy. She was rightly shocked to read that he had almost died and told him that he needed to be more careful. She promised to write more often and told him that he should do the same. Getting that letter reminded him how much he missed his mother; they both knew he could never go back.

“I thought you’d be in bed by now,” Jared said, as he looked down at Jensen who still lay on the ground.

“Just needed some time alone.”

“I know what you mean. Sorry to disturb you.”

“No, stay.”

“Are you sure?”

Jensen nodded, and after a few moments he asked, “You’ve lived here most of your life, haven’t you?”

Jared got down on the ground and stretched out next to Jensen. “Since I was eight. My parents became ill and couldn’t afford to feed me so they sent me here. They passed away two years later, and, well... my aunt and uncle didn’t have kids of their own, so I became like their son. My aunt died after a long illness when I was sixteen.”

“You’ve never wanted to travel?”

“I’ve never had the chance, to be honest. I started working when I was a teenager and the only travelling I’ve ever done was to and from Kansas with the cattle drives.” Jared chuckled. “But I guess that doesn’t really count, does it?”

“It does.”

“But the drives stopped quite a few years ago. We use to have thousands of cattle roaming between here and up in the mountains but we cut the numbers back since we stopped the drives. We now have fences to keep the stock in and the cattle we sell get sent by rail.”

“You miss the drives?”

Jared nodded. “I do, though I don’t miss the long days, bowlegs and stampedes.”

Jensen smiled, and glanced over at Jared. “I don’t think anyone misses bowlegs.”

Up in the sky above them the stars shone brightly. It was just past midnight, and although it was cold, both men were wrapped in layers of clothes and wouldn’t be lying there all night. Jared closed his eyes and remembered the last cattle drive that they had done. “What about you? Ever wanted to travel?” he asked.

“I’ve never done a cattle drive but I worked on a few ranches back east. The longest was two years that I spent on a horse ranch down near San Antonio. I learned a lot there.”

“I can see that. We thought you were mad galloping that freshly broken colt out of the yards.”

“I trusted him. The first thing I learnt was that good horsemanship involves understanding and bonding with your horse. If he can trust you then you can trust him.”

“I’ll remember that.”

Jensen knew that he couldn’t tell Jared a lot of his past, except for what he had done over the last ten or so years. “I was honestly surprised that he didn’t bolt when I shot that young stag last week, I’ve had farm-bred horses bolt at the sound of their first gunshot, but I would never shoot over a horse’s head, it’s just stupid.”

“At the end of next month we’ll be starting to break in some more of the wild horses we brought down in the fall. Jeff has a bronc buster that usually comes to break them in but if you’re feeling up to giving it a go, then the job is yours.”

Jensen sat up and looked down at Jared, slightly shocked. “Really?”

“Yes.” Jared sat up as well and looked over at Jensen. “You know what you’re doing and Jeff would rather give you the opportunity; the bronc buster is usually pretty rough on them but you’ve got a different method and I know that everyone is keen to see what you can do with them.” He rested a hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “Think it over. Sleep well Jesse, and Merry Christmas.” He stood up, smiled and walked back to the house.

Jensen sat on the ground, still somewhat shocked that Jared and Jeff were willing to give him a tough and important job on the ranch. With a slight shiver, he got up, walked to the bunkhouse, and climbed into his bunk. Things were definitely improving.



By the end of February, Jensen had shown that he was also a very capable horseman - having broken in the eight wild horses that the cowpunchers had brought down from the mountains months ago. The males had been broken to saddle while the mares, fillies and two foals that were too small to take a rider were halter trained and taught to lead. With help, the male horses were gelded, including the herd’s stallion, though he proved harder to break in than the younger horses. He was estimated to be six or seven years old and was set in his ways. With Jensen’s patience, kind words, and soft touch, the now-gelded stallion calmed down and accepted the saddle, but he accepted Jensen-and only Jensen-as his rider. The dark liver chestnut stood out compared to the paler chestnut and bays that made up the rest of his herd, especially with his paler flaxen mane.

It was the evening of 28th of February, and Jensen was in the livery like he was most evenings, spending time with his large chestnut gelded stallion. He knew it would take several months for the remaining testosterone in the horse’s system to die down and that it might never calm down as much as the younger geldings, but Jensen would not give up on the older horse.

He was sitting on a hay bale opposite the pen, talking to the horse, when Jared came in, carrying a plate of food. “You didn’t come to supper so I brought you something to eat.”

Jensen looked up at Jared. “Thank you,” he said, taking the plate. “I’m sorry but my mind has been elsewhere lately.”

“Is it anything that you can talk about?” Jared asked. Jesse didn’t talk much, especially about his past.

Jensen sighed. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Jared what was on his mind. “I was expecting a letter, but it must have got caught up somewhere.” He looked over at Jared. “Tomorrow is my birthday, and I’ve never celebrated it but I hoped that a letter would have arrived by now.”

“We’ll go into town tomorrow and see if it has arrived.” Jared said, and rested his hand reassuringly on Jensen’s shoulder. He stood up and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Jensen’s head. “I won’t tell anyone,” he whispered, and left Jensen to eat in peace.

The next morning, after breakfast and his usual morning chores, Jared left the house, pulling on his wool coat as he walked across to the livery. He saw Jesse had already saddled his horse and was running a comb through its mane. “Give me a few minutes to saddle up.”

“Take your time, we’re just bonding,” Jensen said, running his fingers through the now unknotted section of the horse’s mane. “You don’t have to come in to town with me. I won’t get myself lost.”

“I need to get some things from the General Store.” Jared had caught his gelding, put the bridle on it and was arranging the thick saddle blanket. “I’m also not letting you ride that horse alone. Not just yet.”

“Thank you.” Jensen said, and he took the reins in his hand and led the horse out of the livery.

On their way into town, Jensen’s horse - Rusty-decided to misbehave by snorting, kicking out and attempting to rear. Jensen let Rusty gallop. He didn’t want to wear the horse out because they still had to get back to the ranch but it did let the horse get rid of some of his energy. This was the first trip for the late gelding outside the fences of the ranch and they had expected some issues. Jensen arrived into town several minutes before Jared and was still sitting on Rusty, who was breathing hard and had some white areas of sweat on his neck when Jared caught up. “I think he’ll behave on the trip home.”

Jared smiled. “You managed to stay on him despite his best attempts to buck you off; you’re a better horseman than some I’ve seen.” He dismounted. “Do you want to check the mail while I go to the store?”

Jensen nodded and dismounted, taking the reins over Rusty’s head. He walked over to the post office where he tied the horse’s reins to the post before walking into the building.

“Good morning Jesse,” Luke said.

“Good morning Luke. Is there any mail for the ranch?”

“A few letters and a small parcel.” Luke got the mail for the ranch and put them on the counter. “How are things at Morgan Ranch?”

“Not too bad, but we’re still waiting on things to warm up.”

“Wait a few weeks. You’ll be knee deep in grass by the end of the month.”

Jensen smiled. “Good to know, I’m still getting use to the area.”

“Well you’ve got a good boss in Jeff. Some of the other ranchers in the area don’t take kindly to new faces.”

“I’m glad that I was found by the right people then.”

“Indeed you were. Have a good day, Jesse, and see you soon.”

“Thank you Luke.” Jensen took the letters and small parcel and left the building. He could see J. Asher written on the brown paper of the parcel but decided he’d wait until they got back to the ranch before he opened it. Untying the reins, Jensen walked Rusty over to the General Store, and he was putting the parcel and letters into the saddle bag when Jared came out of the store.

“Get what you needed?” Jensen asked.

“I have, did your letter arrive?” Jared asked.

“It did, I’ll wait until we get back before I read it.” Jensen swung himself up into the saddle.

“Don’t need anything else while we’re in town?” Jared asked.

Jensen shook his head. He wanted to get back to the ranch to open the parcel. Jared simply nodded, tied the saddlebag to his saddle and got up onto his horse. With a gentle nudge the bay gelding started walking, Rusty following close behind. The ride back to the ranch was quiet and thankfully Rusty behaved himself, other than a snort and shake of his head.

Dismounting, the two men lead their horses into the livery. Gently, they removed the saddlebags and placed them onto bales of hay before taking the saddles off their horses and brushing them down to remove the sweat from their coats.

“I was wondering if you would like to have supper with us tonight,” Jared asked, as he put his horse into the pen. “I haven’t told anyone about your birthday, only that I’d like you there to thank you for all your hard work.”

Jensen looked over at Jared. “I’d like that.”

Jared smiled. Over the past few months he had found himself attracted to Jesse, but he had never flirted with another man before and he hoped that he was sending out the right signals. It started with a hand on Jesse’s shoulder every evening when they’d sit outside together and look at the stars. After a few weeks, he had moved his hand closer to Jesse’s neck and more than once felt Jesse press against it. Then last night he took a big risk and kissed the top of Jesse’s head, and when Jesse didn’t flinch he took it as a good sign, especially the small smile he saw before he left the livery. Maybe tonight, after supper, he might actually try kissing Jesse.

Jensen wasn’t one to say no to a meal in the homestead, especially on his birthday, even if no one except Jared knew that. He still didn’t talk much around the other cowpunchers, but around Jeff, Jared and Anita he was comfortable and quite talkative. All he wanted to do before supper was open the parcel, which reminded him that he better hand the rest of the letters to Jared so he could open his parcel in peace. Once Jared left with the letters in hand, Jensen looked the parcel over before removing the string and the brown paper. Inside the small box, he saw a beautiful stamped leather belt and holster for his revolver. He knew his mother had spent quite a bit of money on this and it made him cry. It was stunning and he would feel honored wearing it. Jensen was thinking that maybe, once supper had finished, he might share that it was his birthday-not that he celebrated them anymore.

When it was supper time Jensen walked to the house, dressed in his better clothes. He opened the door of the kitchen, knowing that Anita would still be in there.

“Anita.”

“Señor Jesse.”

He walked into the kitchen and gave her a courteous kiss on the cheek.

“Supper will be ready soon. Go. Sit,” Anita said, pushing him out of the kitchen and into the dining room where Jared and Jeff were sitting at the table with a finger of whiskey in their glasses.

“Jesse, come in,” Jeff said. “Would you like a drink?”

Jensen nodded. “Yes sir.”

Jeff smiled. Although he always said to call him by name, Jesse refused to do so. “Take a seat. Jared would you mind?”

Jared nodded and walked over to the cabinet where he poured a small amount of whiskey into a glass. “I was telling Jeff about the eventful ride into town.”

Jensen rolled his eyes a bit. “It was nothing really. Rusty was trying to boss me around but I wouldn’t let him.”

“Well he didn’t buck you off, so that’s something.”

“I just learned how to hold on for dear life.” Jensen smiled and Jeff chuckled.

“You’re still quite the horseman Jesse, and I once again have to thank you for breaking in the horses. If all goes well there might be some more foals in the next few months, and I’d like them to be handled from a young age.”

Jensen took the glass that Jared offered him. “I would like to give that a go. That is if you want me to stay on.”

“Jesse, you are welcome to stay here for as long as you wish. Any rancher worth their salt learns not to send talented workers away but keep them for as long as they’re willing to stay,” Jeff said, across the large wooden dining table.

It was a bit of a surprise to hear Jeff talk like that; most other ranchers that he had worked for would tell their ranch workers to get going after a year or so, staying over that time at any one ranch was seen as a blessing. “I - I’m honored.”

“Supper is ready,” Anita called out, bringing out a large bowl of stew. She put it into the center of the table and returned a minute later with some thickly sliced bread.

The three men said thank you and ladled the stew into their bowls, but waited until Anita returned before they started eating-after all, they were gentleman. They did not talk throughout the meal, only to thank Anita for a lovely stew, and after supper was finished Jensen helped Anita take the washing to the kitchen, He insisted on helping her wash up while Jeff and Jared retired to the sitting room. Once the dishes were all cleaned, Anita told him to go join the men as she was going to take a bath. “Thank you for your help, Jesse.”

“It was my pleasure,” Jensen said, and he waited until Anita left the kitchen before walking to the sitting room.

“Jesse, please sit down and relax” Jared said, getting up from his seat and walking over to Jensen. He led him over to one of the comfortable chairs in the sitting room.

“Thank you for inviting me to supper,” Jensen said to Jeff, knowing that Jared hadn’t told his uncle the real reason.

“It is a pleasure having you join us. You’re more of a gentleman than a lot of the other cowhands here,” Jeff said. “And it seems that Jared has taken quite a shining to you.”

Jensen looked over at Jared and could see a bit of color creep into Jared’s cheeks. “I owe him my life, if Jared hadn’t found me when he did…” He let his voice drift off.

There was a minute or so of silence before Jared said softly, “I couldn’t leave you there.” He smiled a bit. “Even if we thought that you might’ve been an outlaw.”

Jensen chuckled.

The three men continued to talk for another two hours before Jeff excused himself. It was time for him to turn in for the night. Jared suggested that they go outside and take a little walk. Jensen agreed and followed Jared down the hall and outside, passing the outhouse as they walked further away from the homestead. “I use to come out here when I couldn’t sleep. I took some scrap timber and even made myself a little shelter underneath an oak tree. Sometimes I use to spend the whole night out here and sneak back when the sun came up.”

“We had an old barn, and when I had to get away, I’d go and hide in there. I even took some old blankets and pillows out there so I could hide out all night.” Jensen smiled, remembering how he converted the old barn into his own little house and spent a lot of time out there when his father was in one of his moods.

Jared stopped when they arrived at the old oak tree, and looked up at the stars through the branches. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before opening them and looking at Jensen. Reaching up, he put a hand on the other man’s shoulder, thumb lightly brushing his neck, and after a few seconds, when the other man didn’t pull away, he slowly moved his to cradle Jensen’s cheek. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. After a moment he started to move back, only to be pulled back down into a fierce kiss by a hand around his neck. With a soft groan he kissed back, and his lips parting as the kiss got fiercer. Jared was surprised by Jensen’s response but welcomed it; he had been nervous that his advances wouldn’t be reciprocated but it was obvious that his worries had been for nothing. They pulled back, resting their foreheads together as they got their breaths back. “Ah…” Jared whispered.

Jensen chuckled softly, brushing his nose against Jared’s. “Yeah…”

Jared pressed a soft kiss to Jensen’s lips and rested their foreheads together. “Happy Birthday.”

“Mmm.” Jensen smiled. “We have to do this again.”

Jared laughed. “Yeah, we do.”

Jensen woke up at dawn, got up, and got himself dressed before leaving the bunkhouse. At this time of year most of the cowpunchers slept in until breakfast, but as he was up early, he had started to help with the morning chores that use to be Jared’s. After collecting several dozen eggs from the chickens, he gave most to the cook and brought the rest to the homestead. He grabbed Anita’s water bucket and filled it up at the well before carrying it back to the kitchen. He put some more wood into the stove and brought some more cut firewood inside to add to the pile. As he was stacking the last few pieces Anita walked into the room.

“Señor Jesse, I can bring the wood in by myself.”

“Just helping you, Anita. You do enough in this house without having to worry about firewood. My Ma use to say that the housekeeper had the hardest job on a property and that if I could help in any way to do so. That a true gentleman is kind and does not cause extra burden to an already busy lady.”

“Gentlemen are rare in these parts. You are one of a dying breed.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He smiled. “Do you need help with anything else?”

Anita shook her head. “Please, join me for coffee.”

“I’d love to.”

Anita poured some of the water into the kettle and set it on the stove to boil. Once the water had boiled, Anita poured it into a ceramic pot with a few spoons of coffee grounds and let it steep.

The two of them were sitting at the table in the kitchen talking when Jared walked in.

“Good morning Jared, coffee?” Jensen asked, giving a sly smile in Jared’s direction.

“That’d be lovely.”

Jensen stood up and walked over to the stove, he poured the still hot coffee into a cup and as he handed it to Jared he made sure that their hands touched, just for a moment.

“Thank you Jesse,” Jared said, taking a sip of coffee. When he noticed Anita wasn’t watching he winked at Jensen, letting the other man know that he too had thought about the night before.

After they finished their coffee Jared stood up. “Jesse, could I get your opinion on something?” he asked.

Jensen thanked Anita and followed Jared down the hall into Jared’s room. “What do you need an opinion on?”

“I got these in town yesterday, what do you think?” Jared had laid out two pairs of boots, one of the pairs was bigger but the other slightly smaller pair was obviously made with Jensen in mind. “I hope you don’t mind but I took your old boots and had a new pair made to that size.” He said, closing the door to his bedroom.

Jensen was stunned. He knew what they would’ve cost quite a bit and he didn’t think he deserved it. “I - I -.” He stuttered.

“I knew those old boots of mine would not last forever, your birthday is a good enough reason to give them to you.”

Jensen’s smiled turned to a grin, and without really thinking he threw his arms around Jared and hugged him tightly. He could hear Jared chuckle softly as the larger man’s arms wrapped around him. “You’re most welcome,” Jared said softly, lightly kissing the top of Jensen’s head.

Pulling back Jensen looked up at Jared. “Thank you,” he said, and he stretched up and gave Jared a quick kiss. “I’ll come and get them after supper. What do you want me to do today?”

“We’ll take Joey out, and make sure nothing’s brought down the fences. In a few weeks when the spring grasses come through, we’ll move last year’s calves over to fatten them up on the new grass and take them to the rails in May.”

Jensen nodded. “I’ll meet you at the livery after breakfast.” He took his arms from around Jared and took a step back.

Jared wanted to say that Anita could just as easily cook him something rather than having to go out to the cookhouse, but realized how it would look if Jensen didn’t eat out with the others. “Half an hour.”

Jensen nodded, winked and left Jared’s bedroom. Anita gave him a little smirk as he walked across the kitchen. “Not a word,” he said as he left the homestead and walked over to the cookhouse. He found Joey and told him that he’d be going out with Jared and him to check the stock and fences, but he’d have to be ready in half an hour. Thankfully the cook already had some bacon sizzling in the pan and the coffee was kept warm on the stove.

Joey and Jensen ate their breakfast and within half an hour they were out in the livery saddling their horses. This time Jensen was taking Apollo out. Apollo was quieter and calmer than Rusty but he knew that Rusty would be useful when they had to bring in the cows and calves; he had the right attitude for dealing with stubborn and protective cows.

Joey was tightening up the girth on his horse when Jared walked into the stable. “Mornin’ boss, we heading east or west?” the young man asked, leaning against his horse.

“We’ll check the fences to the west, if we get time we’ll check to the east.”

Joey nodded and walked his horse out of the livery. “Meet you at the gate.”

Jared waved the young man off. Jensen chuckled softly and walked Apollo out of the livery to let Jared get his gelding ready.

“You’ve never gone out this way, have you?” Joey asked.

Jensen shook his head. “Only the east section.”

“Well make sure that girth’s tight and his feet are fine, because it’s rocky up there.”

Taking Joey’s advice he cinched the strap tighter before he checked the gelding’s hooves. Jensen knew that wild mustangs’ hooves were tougher than most farm-bred horses due to centuries of breeding only the hardiest survivors. He was giving Apollo a pat on the neck when Jared rode up to them. “Ready?” Jared asked, Jensen nodded and swung himself up into the saddle.

“It’s about two and a half miles to the west-most boundary. We stay as a group.” He rode over to Jensen and handed him a rifle. “In case we come across any bears.”

Jensen nodded and put the strap over his head so the barrel of the rifle was pointing to the sky.

“Let’s go,” Jared said. Joey opened the gate and the three of them rode through before closing it again. They started off in a walk, keeping to the fence line as Jared and Joey looked for any gaps or breaks in the barbed wire while Jensen looked elsewhere to make sure that there wasn’t any other danger around them.

They came across two broken wires and were able to fix them with wire from the small roll that Jared had brought along. Jensen kept a look out while they fixed it, thankfully no bears or coyotes were out but there were a few deer on the outside of the fence. He could see the spring grasses come up and knew it would only be a week or so until they’d bring the herd in, where the new calves would be branded, earmarked and castrated if needed, before moving them here to take advantage of the new growth. As they neared the western boundary fence, Jensen could see why Joey had warned him: the ground had gone from near flat to quite rocky and hilly, and he now knew why the cattle didn’t spend winter here.

It took them the best part of the morning to ride around and fix the gaps in the western rangeland fences. They stopped in for a quick meal before heading to the east pasture. Once again, Jensen was asked to be the lookout, and he knew that this time he’d not only have to keep his eyes out for predators but also for any angry cows who might not agree with their presence. The eastern pastures were smaller than the rangeland but there were more breaks in the fences, so it took until almost dark to get the repairs done in all six fenced pastures.

Once they arrived back at the homestead, Jared went inside while Jensen and Joey went to the cookhouse for their supper. A nice hearty beef stew with crusty bread was just what they needed after a long day. Most of the cowpunchers left for the saloon in town to drink some of their pay away. Joey and Mark were still too young to go out drinking, so they stayed behind in the cookhouse where they read some dime novels and talked to the cook. Jensen had washed off the day’s dirt and had changed into cleaner clothing before heading to the homestead. Jared was waiting on the porch. “Bobby makes a hell of a stew,” Jensen said.

“He’s a fantastic cook. Anita’s still trying to get him to share his recipes. He refuses,” Jared said, and, knowing that no one could see them, he took Jensen’s hand in his and led him to the western side of the homestead where a large, rough-sawn bench seat was set up on the porch. Jared sat down and Jensen sat next to him.

“May I?” Jensen asked softly, as he slid his arm between Jared’s back and the back of the chair. Jared nodded, and Jensen put his arm around Jared’s waist and moved closer until they were pressed side to side. Jared returned the gesture by putting his arm around the other man’s shoulder, resting his cheek against the top of Jensen’s head. They looked out into the night, silent but enjoying the closeness.

Several weeks had passed since the two men began their relationship and they were keeping it a secret. Anita gave them the odd smirk or knowing smile but did not say anything. During the day they would work together on the ranch, although some days were not as busy as others. While the cowpunchers checked the stock, Jared, as head cattleman, stayed back at the ranch to check the books or to help Jeff. Despite Jensen’s knowledge and skills he was at the bottom of the chain of command, and he often would get told to do the jobs the others hated, he didn’t complain but did what was asked of him.

They had got into a routine that, after the evening’s discussions, the two men would separately excuse themselves from their present company and meet up somewhere on the ranch. A few of the cowpunchers had girlfriends or wives in town, so they would spend their nights with them and ride back to the ranch at dawn. Those still single would go into town to spend time (and money) for a few hours’ company with a ‘lady of the line.’ The younger men had no interest in going into town and would often sit in the cookhouse with Bobby and read or tell tales.

“You’re running a bit late,” Jared said softly, as Jensen rode up and dismounted from his horse.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Luther thought it would be funny to spit his chewing tobacco all over my new pants so I had to find something else to wear.”

“He’s an idiot with a big mouth and a small brain,” Jared said, taking Jensen’s hand and leading him to a nearby tree where his own horse was tied up.

Occasionally the two of them would meet up in the barn (particularly if the weather was bad), but, to keep with the image that they were going into town, both Jensen and Jared would ride their horses to a designated meeting place. It was a mile or so away from the ranch and hidden by a grove of trees. They had tied up a large oiled canvas cloth to the trees to act as a cover and had two old bedrolls they would sit or lie down on. In a canvas bag, they kept a few blankets and often brought an extra one with them in case it was cooler, Jared had already put the blankets down and a small lantern that didn’t throw a lot of light in case someone happened to be travelling past.

Most nights they would just talk or just sit in silence, other nights they would kiss and touch but they didn’t go any further. Jensen spent their quiet nights thinking, but what was weighing on his mind at the moment was that, although he had slept with people in the past while living under this alias, there was something different about Jared. Jared was so honest and caring that Jensen actually started to feel bad whenever he heard him say ‘Jesse’, and he wanted to hear his real name come from Jared’s lips. But he didn’t know how Jared would take it, or if he could bring himself to actually tell the truth about who he really was. Maybe next week he would tell Jared, but, for now, he just enjoyed the feeling of the other man’s arms around him and he knew it wouldn’t be long before they snuck back to the ranch and to their beds.



By the end of March the grass in the western half of the ranch had grown high enough to hold the hundred odd calves that had been weaned in October. The calves were currently in the south most fenced pasture, and they now had to be moved move to the western pasture. The night before, Jared had got all the cowpunchers together and told them what the next day would involve. Eight men would ride out and start driving the calves in towards the stockyard while four men on horseback would make a barrier to stop the calves getting into the cow’s pasture. The calves would then be separated by sex, so Jeff could decide which heifers would stay or go before they all would be driven into their western pastures.

Everyone had an early breakfast and rode east just as the sun rose, splitting into two groups to ride around the large herd. Jensen had taken Rusty out, knowing that the large, muscular horse had the ideal temperament to deal with the cattle. They moved the calf herd slowly north, and, an hour or so later, they arrived at the old wooden yards- a set of pens joined by gates to make cattle work easier. Inside the men were separating the steers from the heifers. Those going to market would get an earmark- a distinctive notch cut from the ear, to identify them and put into the north western pasture while the heifers to be kept would go into the south western pasture until they were old enough to be put with the bulls. The bulls were still thankfully in their own pasture and would be brought in for the June breeding season, although a few bulls would be put in with the heifers in May to make sure that they got pregnant.

Once the heifers were happily grazing in their pasture, the riders returned to the homestead and put their horses into the livery. Most of them unsaddled their horses but left the brushing down and feeding to Mark while they went and had a whiskey before supper. Both Jensen and Jared, however, preferred to do this job themselves; Mark was busy enough with the other horses. As Jensen finished brushing the dried sweat out of Rusty’s coat, Jared leaned against the pen’s rail.

“We’ll be eating in the cookhouse tonight. Bobby killed one of the larger steers earlier and it’s steak for all,” Jared said.

“I won’t be leaving here until Mark’s finished, so make sure the others don’t eat everything,” Jensen said, looking over at Mark who still had a few horses to brush down.

“We’ll go give him a hand.”

Jensen smiled and gave Rusty one last pat. “You know you’re not like most bosses. Most I’ve worked with would never help others.”

Jared smiled at Jensen as they walked over to the last few horses. “As you’ve figured out, I’m not like most bosses.”

Jensen and Jared started brushing two of the remaining horses, and Mark looked over and thanked them both for staying back and helping. Once the last horses were eating contently in their pens the three of them made their way to the cookhouse where the other cowpunchers were waiting for supper. Once Jeff arrived, the meal was served, and as they ate there was general chatter and laughter. Jeff said that tomorrow would be pay-day, and once again most of the cowpunchers said they would be going into town and asked if Jensen and Jared would be coming out for the night.
Both thanked them for the offer but said they would be spending the night on the ranch: Jensen said, he had other plans while Jared would be busy with the books.

“Don’t get into trouble, boys, because I won’t be getting you out of jail,” Jeff warned.

The men all nodded silently; they remembered the tale of how the sheriff had ridden out to the ranch to tell Jeff that two of his men had been locked up for fighting. Instead of bailing them out, Jeff had taken the men’s possessions into town and told them to get out. They all knew that if they got into trouble they would be fired.

Jared sat out on the porch. Jesse had said he wanted to talk and Jared was a bit nervous about why. It had been two and a half months since Jesse’s birthday, when they started their relationship, and although the two men spent a few hours together every possible evening, they had not yet had sex.

Jensen took a deep breath and walked along the porch to the bench seat behind the main house. He had decided that tonight was the night-the night he shared his true name.

“Jared, I’ve got something I want to tell you,” he said as he sat down next to Jared.

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

Jensen took a deep breath. He had practiced this many times in his head but saying it out loud was a different thing. “There’s something about myself I haven’t told you… that I haven’t told anyone.” He turned to look at Jared. “My name is not really Jesse.”

Jared’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“My real name is Jensen,” he admitted. “I use to get called ‘Jenny’ a lot when I was younger so when I left home I just said my name was Jesse.” That was partly true: he had chosen the name Jesse Asher when he ran away from home, and he had been teased and called Jenny as a kid. He reached down and took Jared’s hands in his. “I’ve never told anyone my real name, but I couldn’t keep lying to you Jared. I care about you too much. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

Jared was quiet. It was a bit to take in, but the fact that Jensen had actually shared something he had kept so secret made him feel honored. Jensen really did care about him.

“Please say something,” Jensen said softly.

Jared leant forward and kissed Jensen firmly. He couldn’t think of what to say but hoped that the kiss got the message across: a name didn’t matter to him. Jensen moved his arms up and wrapped them around Jared’s neck as the kiss got more passionate, Jared’s arms looped around Jensen’s middle and pulled the other man closer. They continued kissing until both were breathless, then, pulling back, they rested their foreheads against each other. “So… Jensen, I’ll still call you Jesse in front of the others.” Jensen nodded. “Do you mind being called Jen, you know, for short?”

“I don’t mind, just don’t call me Jenny or I’ll punch that pretty face of yours.”

Jared chuckled softly. “I won’t, I promise.”

One evening, nearly six months since he had first found Jensen, while he looked through some of Jeff’s old books, Jared came across an old map of the ranch and surrounding area. He could see several marks on the map that matched the homestead but others he wasn’t quite sure about, he remembered his grandfather talking about the several small cabins in the mountains that were built for his workers several decades ago. The closest of these marks was only a mile and a half from his and Jensen’s secret grove, he decided the next day to go and investigate to see if there was anything left of these cabins.

It was mid-morning by the time Jared was able to get away from the ranch and he rode to the west, past the grove of trees, and into rockier land. According to all land deeds, Jeff’s land ended at the fences and this land and that for the next few miles was now his - the sole remaining Padaleki heir.

Floods and land clearing had cause several of the landmarks on the map to disappear, and it seemed that finding anything out here depended on luck as much as skillful map-reading. A large group of boulders did show the beginning of a trail into the wooded area, and Jared dismounted and started in on the overgrown trail. Dodging the small saplings and trees that had grown up along the route, Jared found his way through the forest to a clearing, or what remained of a clearing. Vines and trees had taken over most of it but Jared could see the roof of a small barn and an adjoining cabin. Cutting through the vines and pulling them away revealed a lot more of the cabin and he was able to find a small timber porch and a door. With a hefty push, Jared slowly opened the door and finally saw into a cabin which had not seen light for decades.

It was a very simple one-room design with a wood stove and small kitchen area to the right. The rusty frame of what was once a bed was to the left, and in front of him was a pair of matching wooden chairs. The windows were boarded up but there still hung the rotted remains of the thick material that had once covered the windows instead of glass. The roof looked to be solid, with no areas that indicated long term water damage, meaning there were no leaks. Although it had been abandoned for countless decades, the cabin was surprisingly still in reasonably good condition, and not a lot of work would need to be done to make it habitable. Most of the work would involve cutting down the trees, shrubs and vines that had taken over the clearing, and making the hidden trail more accessible for horses. Jared closed the door of the cabin and walked over to the small barn. One door hung roughly from broken hinges while the other had come off completely. Covering the floor was a thick layer of decomposed leaf litter which had caused some of the lower timbers of the crude pens to rot, but they could be replaced and, once the whole thing was cleaned out, it would easily house a few horses and a cow. Jared would have to check his grandfather’s diaries, but he was certain that this was a worker’s cabin that his grandfather had made to house one of his hired men and the man’s family. The place wasn’t fancy, but a roof over your head and a place to sleep was all that most men wanted.

Leaving the cabin, Jared walked back through the trees to where his horse was tied up. With his mind full of ideas, he rode back home to the ranch. The first thing he wanted to do was check the diaries to see if the cabin was written about, then he’d make a list of what would be needed to repair the cabin and the barn. He’d also ask Jeff’s permission to borrow saws and axes to clear everything that was overgrown.

That afternoon Jared was able to return to the cabin with Jensen. They brought an axe and a large saw so they could start cutting down trees and vines.

“Jeff’s letting us use this?” Jensen asked as they walked along the trail. Jared was using the axe to cut through some small saplings and vines to clear the trail a bit more.

“There are about half a dozen old cabins scattered throughout these hills and they’re not Jeff’s,” Jared stated.

Jensen’s brows creased in confusion. “Well then who owns them?”

The two of them walked out into the small clearing “My grandfather built these cabins decades ago for his workers. When he died it was stated that the land and everything on it was to be passed on to his remaining relatives but sadly there’s only one left.”

“You?”

Jared nodded. “I’m not sure how much land there is but it’s estimated to be at least two to three hundred acres. Most of it is forest or rocky land which is why we rarely graze anything on it.” He cut down another small tree with a few swings of the axe. “But this is the closest cabin to the ranch. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s private, and we don’t need to worry about the wind blowing our cover away.”

Jensen smiled and pushed open the door to the cabin to look inside. It would take quite a bit of work to get it livable but, as Jared had said, it was private and a lot more comfortable than their canopy and mattress in the forest. While Jared pulled down vines and removed small saplings from around the cabin, Jensen started cleaning out the leaf litter from the barn so at least they’d have somewhere sheltered to sleep, and when the rotten rails were fixed they could bring their horses in as well.

It was a few days of work before both the clearing and the hidden trail leading into it were clear enough to be able to bring the horses into the clearing without worrying about them tripping over vines, roots or saplings. Jared and Jensen had set up a temporary pen near the barn so the horses would be safe at night.

After supper was finished, Jensen took Apollo from the stables and rode towards the hidden cabin. He knew that Jared wouldn’t be far behind. Dismounting he took the reins over his mount’s head, unclipped the lantern he carried due to the lack of moonlight, and started to lead the horse along the trail towards the clearing. “Let’s see how you do tonight in your temporary pen,” Jensen said as he walked the gelding over to the pen they had set up. “I promise that in a few weeks, when we get the cabin done, you’ll get the stables.” With Apollo secure, he left the horse and walked to the barn where their hay mattress, blankets and pillows were set up.

Jensen was lighting the second lantern in the barn when he heard rustling noises outside. Resting his hand on the grip of his revolver, he waited, but it was just Jared. “Who else did you think it would be?” Jared asked as he sat down on their bedrolls next to Jensen.

“I thought someone might have followed me or some animal was out there.”

Jared smiled and put his hand up to Jensen’s cheek. “Unless someone was right behind you they wouldn’t be able to find their way through the forest.”

Jensen closed his eyes. He had to keep telling himself that he was safe here, and that his father’s reach didn’t extend this far west, and that he didn’t have to keep looking over his shoulder. Jared could tell by Jensen’s body language that the other man was tense and knew, from now on, to announce when he arrived. “I promise that as long as I’m here you’re safe.” He leaned forward and kissed Jensen softly, letting him know that he meant what he was saying.

That evening they made love for the first time, exploring each other’s bodies and reveling in the sensations from each touch. Afterwards, as they lay under the blankets, with Jensen’s head resting on Jared’s shoulder and with their arms wound around each other, Jensen muttered as he started to drift off to sleep. “I’ve spent years looking over my shoulder, trying to stay one step ahead of him. I can’t go back, I won’t go back.”