(no subject)
life has this uninchanting way of telling me im doing everything wrong. of telling me im better than what im doing, somehow nothing works out quite right, but in the end it doesnt matter, somehow im always left alone with life spitting me into a new world of independence, like im supposed to figure it out or be better for it. justin got arrested again tonight, and i dont think ill ever seee him again, and i think that im supposed to do something with that, but instead it just makes me feel angry and confused. like what am i supposed to do with all this, go searching for something new? i dont know who i am, i did a long long time ago. but not any more. i feel completly pathetic knowing that noone really cares anymore, that i have to figure it out my own way this time. its horribly painful and yet doesnt seem to phase me at all. who do i put trust into? ...i dont know i guess i just felt like blabbing some of that out because i have no fucking clue what to do here, what to do with myself right now.