TM - Answer a question you're never asked
[again, pre-nicodemus stuff as it is yet unresolved. and locked from martha.]
Nobody ever asks me what I see in Martha. Never. Not once in eight years has someone taken me aside and said, "What in god's name do you see in that woman?" She gets asked about me all the time. She denies it because she's just that way, but I know she does. I've seen people take her aside at parties, and I see the look on her face when she comes back. But I guess it's kind of a reasonable question. I don't know if I'm exactly what you'd call a catch. I'm a raging workaholic, I'm not all that easy to live with, and I've never been referred to as an Adonis of any kind, let me tell you. I'm a pain in the ass. Those who work for me know it, and those who live with me know it.
But I guess I'm supposed to answer the question I'm never asked. This is tough because I've never been asked it. The answer is something I've been thinking about for awhile, in having to write my vows and all that crap. Which has been...kind of a sore spot lately. I've been acting like an ass to her since I started, because I don't know what the hell to say and I feel guilty as hell about it. I'm not bad with words - I'm a journalist for god's sake, I make my living putting words together. And one doesn't get to be editor-in-chief of a major newspaper unless he's damn good at what he does. But when it comes to feelings - all that emotional shit - the words just don't come. Probably why I became a journalist in the first place. The whole point is to leave emotion out of it and be as objective as possible. Objective is what I'm good at. She's got her vows done. All typed up and double-spaced, proofed and everything. I still haven't been able to put pen to paper. I don't know why we couldn't just stick to the traditional "til death do us part" jazz. She says she wants our wedding to be different from our respective first weddings. Fair enough, but Christ, is this a pain in my side. I just want to put a goddamn ring on her finger and go dance badly with my two left feet at the reception. That's all. Of course I can't tell her that or I'd be on the couch until the ceremony.
Basically, I see everything in Martha. Sure, there are things about her that annoy me. She's nostalgic to the point of self-destruction, she can be needy, and though she's gotten much better she's still a little self-conscious. And while I know she's devoted to me, I also know she'll always be in love with the two men that came before me. That's a little hard to swallow, but what can you do? It's not her fault I'd happily dance on my ex-wife's grave. Our past experiences with love are different. Nobody's fault. But I think so much of the reason I love her is directly related to her capacity to love. It's limitless. I've never seen anyone give more of her heart than Martha Kent. She's just about the best mother in the world, and really, when you think about it, good mothers in this world are rare. She's hard-working, dedicated, passionate, endlessly thoughtful, and incredibly smart. She's got that kind of sharp, striking intelligence that can knock you out at times. And she cares. About everything. It's astonishing, the things and the people she can lend her thoughts to. And she can see through everything. You'd think Clark got the X-ray vision from her. Her eyes are always open, just like her heart. It can be a little scary at times. I don't really think I need to go on about the ways in which she's out of my league. That's obvious just by looking at us. But damned if the fact that she somehow loves me doesn't just make me love her more.
But I don't know what the hell I'll say at that altar.
Muse: Perry White
Fandom: Smallville
Word Count: 689
Nobody ever asks me what I see in Martha. Never. Not once in eight years has someone taken me aside and said, "What in god's name do you see in that woman?" She gets asked about me all the time. She denies it because she's just that way, but I know she does. I've seen people take her aside at parties, and I see the look on her face when she comes back. But I guess it's kind of a reasonable question. I don't know if I'm exactly what you'd call a catch. I'm a raging workaholic, I'm not all that easy to live with, and I've never been referred to as an Adonis of any kind, let me tell you. I'm a pain in the ass. Those who work for me know it, and those who live with me know it.
But I guess I'm supposed to answer the question I'm never asked. This is tough because I've never been asked it. The answer is something I've been thinking about for awhile, in having to write my vows and all that crap. Which has been...kind of a sore spot lately. I've been acting like an ass to her since I started, because I don't know what the hell to say and I feel guilty as hell about it. I'm not bad with words - I'm a journalist for god's sake, I make my living putting words together. And one doesn't get to be editor-in-chief of a major newspaper unless he's damn good at what he does. But when it comes to feelings - all that emotional shit - the words just don't come. Probably why I became a journalist in the first place. The whole point is to leave emotion out of it and be as objective as possible. Objective is what I'm good at. She's got her vows done. All typed up and double-spaced, proofed and everything. I still haven't been able to put pen to paper. I don't know why we couldn't just stick to the traditional "til death do us part" jazz. She says she wants our wedding to be different from our respective first weddings. Fair enough, but Christ, is this a pain in my side. I just want to put a goddamn ring on her finger and go dance badly with my two left feet at the reception. That's all. Of course I can't tell her that or I'd be on the couch until the ceremony.
Basically, I see everything in Martha. Sure, there are things about her that annoy me. She's nostalgic to the point of self-destruction, she can be needy, and though she's gotten much better she's still a little self-conscious. And while I know she's devoted to me, I also know she'll always be in love with the two men that came before me. That's a little hard to swallow, but what can you do? It's not her fault I'd happily dance on my ex-wife's grave. Our past experiences with love are different. Nobody's fault. But I think so much of the reason I love her is directly related to her capacity to love. It's limitless. I've never seen anyone give more of her heart than Martha Kent. She's just about the best mother in the world, and really, when you think about it, good mothers in this world are rare. She's hard-working, dedicated, passionate, endlessly thoughtful, and incredibly smart. She's got that kind of sharp, striking intelligence that can knock you out at times. And she cares. About everything. It's astonishing, the things and the people she can lend her thoughts to. And she can see through everything. You'd think Clark got the X-ray vision from her. Her eyes are always open, just like her heart. It can be a little scary at times. I don't really think I need to go on about the ways in which she's out of my league. That's obvious just by looking at us. But damned if the fact that she somehow loves me doesn't just make me love her more.
But I don't know what the hell I'll say at that altar.
Muse: Perry White
Fandom: Smallville
Word Count: 689