a poem i wrote

[to_fall_asleep]

gasping
aching
spinning out of control
trying to hold on and let go at the same time
never getting the point, but always pressing onto it
always bleeding, but never dripping
always hurting, never telling
no one gets me
and i dont get them
i want to tell you
because you come the closest to getting me
but you don't ever want to listen to me
and you push me away like praying will fix me
but it hasnt fixed me yet
and i dont know if it will
because i pray each night
for the stars in heaven
to come and sweep me up and
lift me into oblivion
but they dont
and you dont take me away
from all of this
why not?