Tethered
These last few months have been so stressful. I feel like I'm on a tethered leash, biting at the chains that hold me back. I want to GO! I just want to be out of here. I felt this a little bit near the end of the year before I graduated but now it's almost a physical pain; I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be in Washington D.C, learning and being on my own.
Everyone is telling me that within a week I'll be homesick and I'm sure that I will but what I WILL feel doesn't matter to me NOW. I'm reading up on the neighborhoods, the students, all of that and I just can't wait to break free.
There is one part in this that I wish I could take with me: him. We've been closer than ever lately and I would hate for this to fall apart. A good friend of mine got dumped a couple of days ago by her boyfriend of a year and a half, and the reason was that they had "grown apart". I don't want to grow apart from him, but I feel it's inevitable. That scares me. He cares for me, loves me, and when I'm with him and can say anything. Just anything. I will need that when I'm surrounded by people I don't know in a place I've never been. I even looked through laptops and picked one specifically because it came with a built-in webcam so we can see each other and talk. It's hard to go four months without seeing or touching someone that you ache to be away from. That'll hurt...
Two weeks are left and I have tons of expectations which I'm trying to let go of because it'll ruin the experience but that's hard. So hard.
Two weeks.
Everyone is telling me that within a week I'll be homesick and I'm sure that I will but what I WILL feel doesn't matter to me NOW. I'm reading up on the neighborhoods, the students, all of that and I just can't wait to break free.
There is one part in this that I wish I could take with me: him. We've been closer than ever lately and I would hate for this to fall apart. A good friend of mine got dumped a couple of days ago by her boyfriend of a year and a half, and the reason was that they had "grown apart". I don't want to grow apart from him, but I feel it's inevitable. That scares me. He cares for me, loves me, and when I'm with him and can say anything. Just anything. I will need that when I'm surrounded by people I don't know in a place I've never been. I even looked through laptops and picked one specifically because it came with a built-in webcam so we can see each other and talk. It's hard to go four months without seeing or touching someone that you ache to be away from. That'll hurt...
Two weeks are left and I have tons of expectations which I'm trying to let go of because it'll ruin the experience but that's hard. So hard.
Two weeks.