saves me an angsty blog
anonymous
March 13 2008, 20:28:56 UTC
I was debating whether I wanted to anon post but since it's public and it's a small world, even on the internet, I figured I'd better. I BET YOU KNOW WHO I AM THOUGH. I KNOW WHEN YOU'RE TRULY MAD.
Anyway. Here's my deal, since I can't be fucked to write an IM about it. This girl a few hours away from me liked me, told me, started flirting with me back in November. Whatever, that's cool, I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend. I make that stupid trip last month to see her as part of it, totally don't get even half as much time alone with her as I wanted, and I still have no clue if it's worth it. In the meantime she manages to get me peeved on several of her habits, despite that I know she doesn't do these things purposely. It's just that I've been very honest and have said HEY IT ANNOYS ME WHEN YOU DO X-THING, expressing the desire that she not keep doing said things. Regardless, despite that SHE pursued me, she was still (is still?) hung up on her ex and all of a sudden, after making that damn trip last month, she's not "ready for a relationship," and I'd already promised to come down (this weekend) to celebrate her birthday with her. Fuck. What am I doing? Is this even worth it? Ultimately I know things will never get serious even if I can keep myself from being annoyed by the dumb things that annoy me, because she doesn't really like kids. She's trying to play it like mine are okay but in general she doesn't like them, but WHATEVER, I really don't see it that way. There's no negotiation on the attitude towards kids for me. regardless I'm still kinda like... ehh, maybe I'll take what i can get, let this be a casual thing. You know, if I can stop being annoyed to death by these somewhat trivial, unintentionally inconsiderate things she keeps doing.
However, have this guy friend. Been friends with him for about a year now, he's a cool guy, very likable by most people, good times hanging out the few times we have. Get the feeling he might have a crush on me, but I'm not sure, and think I would feel pretty dumb if he didn't. I don't know, you know how it is with Girl Intuition. Been pondering what the potential would be though. Referencing said trip last month, we had a lot more time together wih just us than all of our friends, and we got on really well. He's one of the more ature people I know, he's going somewhere in life. He likes my kids, having met them twice for a few minutes, he thinks they're cute/funny, he doesn't avoid the subject when I bring them up like other people do (even friends, they seem to not know what to say about anything with them).
Soo... I was thinking on that trip, you know, what about this guy? Is that something worth pursuing? He doesn't live terribly close to me either, but it'd be more feasible to see him with about the same frequency I visit my other friends in this area.
Then he tells me last night about this girl interested in him, and while he won't cop to REALLY liking her, he seems like maybe he's interested. He'd also said before he was interested in a friend of his but didnt want to say anything for fear of ruining the friendship. Girl that likes him lives WAY far away though and he's skeptical about that, and I know her, am somewhat friendly with her. I know I got jealous though, so I'm not sure what I'm thinking now. Am I jealous for any good reason? It's not like I cared before if someone was interested in him. It just wasn't really until this last trip that I've been preoccupied with the idea. And then I have to ask myself, am I interested now for the right reasons? Or am I being desperate about something? I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Anyway. Here's my deal, since I can't be fucked to write an IM about it. This girl a few hours away from me liked me, told me, started flirting with me back in November. Whatever, that's cool, I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend. I make that stupid trip last month to see her as part of it, totally don't get even half as much time alone with her as I wanted, and I still have no clue if it's worth it. In the meantime she manages to get me peeved on several of her habits, despite that I know she doesn't do these things purposely. It's just that I've been very honest and have said HEY IT ANNOYS ME WHEN YOU DO X-THING, expressing the desire that she not keep doing said things. Regardless, despite that SHE pursued me, she was still (is still?) hung up on her ex and all of a sudden, after making that damn trip last month, she's not "ready for a relationship," and I'd already promised to come down (this weekend) to celebrate her birthday with her. Fuck. What am I doing? Is this even worth it? Ultimately I know things will never get serious even if I can keep myself from being annoyed by the dumb things that annoy me, because she doesn't really like kids. She's trying to play it like mine are okay but in general she doesn't like them, but WHATEVER, I really don't see it that way. There's no negotiation on the attitude towards kids for me. regardless I'm still kinda like... ehh, maybe I'll take what i can get, let this be a casual thing. You know, if I can stop being annoyed to death by these somewhat trivial, unintentionally inconsiderate things she keeps doing.
However, have this guy friend. Been friends with him for about a year now, he's a cool guy, very likable by most people, good times hanging out the few times we have. Get the feeling he might have a crush on me, but I'm not sure, and think I would feel pretty dumb if he didn't. I don't know, you know how it is with Girl Intuition. Been pondering what the potential would be though. Referencing said trip last month, we had a lot more time together wih just us than all of our friends, and we got on really well. He's one of the more ature people I know, he's going somewhere in life. He likes my kids, having met them twice for a few minutes, he thinks they're cute/funny, he doesn't avoid the subject when I bring them up like other people do (even friends, they seem to not know what to say about anything with them).
Soo... I was thinking on that trip, you know, what about this guy? Is that something worth pursuing? He doesn't live terribly close to me either, but it'd be more feasible to see him with about the same frequency I visit my other friends in this area.
Then he tells me last night about this girl interested in him, and while he won't cop to REALLY liking her, he seems like maybe he's interested. He'd also said before he was interested in a friend of his but didnt want to say anything for fear of ruining the friendship. Girl that likes him lives WAY far away though and he's skeptical about that, and I know her, am somewhat friendly with her. I know I got jealous though, so I'm not sure what I'm thinking now. Am I jealous for any good reason? It's not like I cared before if someone was interested in him. It just wasn't really until this last trip that I've been preoccupied with the idea. And then I have to ask myself, am I interested now for the right reasons? Or am I being desperate about something? I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
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