Talking About Church
My significant other and I are having a little dilemma. Well, not really a dilemma, per se, but some issues regarding our faith, church-going and all that goes along with that.
I have already mentioned my church/faith experience in this blog so I won't get into that again. My love; however, had a totally different kind of upbringing when it came to matters of faith and his own journey. I know he wouldn't mind me talking about it, but I am a private person and prefer not to, but I will say that he was raised in a very religious, Christian, conservative home. He, like many (like me) have had issues with his own faith and his feelings about the church are very similar to mine. I have never felt comfortable in church and I've been in quite a few, from the conservative Christian to the liberal Unitarian Universalist and everything in between. My S.O. dislikes church as well. We do attend a small conservative church, mostly because it means so much to his parents. I also go to a Bible study there and I do get something out of it quite often. Last time I attended Bible study, a woman who sits next to me asked that I look her up on Facebook. Her page was private, but I did see that she was friends with the pastor, which made me think twice. We like the pastor; he's a nice enough guy, but lately some of his sermons have made us feel kind of uncomfortable. S.O. and I are liberals and we gather that the pastor isn't. Part of me knows that in most usual circumstances, political differences are not necessarily enough to divide people, but we feel that as our "spiritual leader", the difference can cause a chasm in the church. Yes, he is the pastor and he can say what he wishes, but I have personally felt very uncomfortable at times.
Example: two weeks ago, he used a story about an "abortion doctor" who had a sudden change of heart after looking at an ultrasound. Well, that's fine and dandy, but it seems pretty obvious to me that this story carefully inserted in the sermon was an attempt to bring to light the "fact" that people's minds can be changed after seeing an ultrasound of their developing baby. (like what's happening in Virginia)VABill I then got to spend the rest of the service remembering my abortion and reliving the guilt and agony. Thanks, a lot.
There have been little jabs at other churches and other ministers and some other offhand comments. We both really like the pastor, but I find his politicizing very distasteful. I have even thought about telling him how his abortion story made me feel.
The S.O. and I tried a UU church here for awhile, but even that was too political and agenda-oriented for us, and we agreed with them!!
It's disheartening, for sure. I try to fit in there, but I can't fully.