this wasnt easy
looking back now i suppose it wasnt a good idea, people got hurt, people cried....... i cried. its scary to hear the things people say when they make mistakes. I know most of the time i just think damn, thank God that isnt me........ even with my closest friend i find myself feeling sorry for them and pitying them, hurting for them, but underneath it all, i just think.... i am glad its not me sad, hurt, crying looking back now i suppose it wasnt a good idea, to be so selfish, people could have got hurt, people almost cried, i almost cried......i still guard myself, its the way of the world, but i love my friends and my family, and i realize that to truly ever be who they need me to be i have to let go of the part of me that is so selfish, it could be me one day that needs someone to give in totaly, to feel the weight of the world crushing them, if no other reason because i do...to feel like they are being ripped apart by pain because i am......
i didnt like writting this very much, it felt strange, unnatural for me... i kept wanting to erase it but i couldnt, it made my skin feel cold, and seemed to zap what little energy i had left of this evening..... strange isnt it..... sometimes its liberating to admit the things we are ashamed of....i can be a selfish person.....
i didnt like writting this very much, it felt strange, unnatural for me... i kept wanting to erase it but i couldnt, it made my skin feel cold, and seemed to zap what little energy i had left of this evening..... strange isnt it..... sometimes its liberating to admit the things we are ashamed of....i can be a selfish person.....