(no subject)
Hmmm... today was dumb once again I dont have any stories or anything interesting. Kylie's being really weird towards me im letting her do her own thing she might disagree but thats only cause she's extremly sensitive when it comes to me... I dont know why... Its just dumb though she can do most anything she'd like to me but if i go and try and do anything for her or talk to her she shuts me down. I get the feeling shes trying to lose me... and it really really hurts...
Cried a few times this morning sam was in my head and it wasent good wanted a hug from kylie she sorta acted like I wanted attention it wasent cool... at one point she looked at me and said "you were never this upset before" i just dont know where she could have gotten this from I was a wreck when he died everyday for like a week after he died I went to the nurses 9th period and just laid there I remember one of the days talking to my brother about him going over seas... I was crushed... At his funeral I was devastated the thought of kneeling over his casket.... uggghhh just gives me shakes... cant talk about this anymore
So yeah kylie's miserable and it blows. She's moving on with her life... probably not with matt though. Shes ready to leave and idk I guess i just think of myself as something only of her past... like something she'll remember 10 years from now and be like ohhh he was a nice guy but nothing more, and its just ashame she's going somewhere eather germany or nc and i will be out of sight and out of mind... and that just really hurts as well. I hope something looks up I hope if I leave her alone she might miss me... I hope i stop hoping, because usually it doesent get me anywhere...
Maybe she'll call me tonight I doubt it but theres a fighting chance that she wants to so I'll look forward to that.
I'm not doing much latley, Schools a damper I just kinda go for no other reason then school... It's not even about friends anymore, I litterally dont look forward to any classes, I'm kindof alone and me and ky are usually just not so hot. I think things will turn up though. They have to were at the bottom of the ferris wheel and its working its way up to the top I hope it just gets stuck there though
Cried a few times this morning sam was in my head and it wasent good wanted a hug from kylie she sorta acted like I wanted attention it wasent cool... at one point she looked at me and said "you were never this upset before" i just dont know where she could have gotten this from I was a wreck when he died everyday for like a week after he died I went to the nurses 9th period and just laid there I remember one of the days talking to my brother about him going over seas... I was crushed... At his funeral I was devastated the thought of kneeling over his casket.... uggghhh just gives me shakes... cant talk about this anymore
So yeah kylie's miserable and it blows. She's moving on with her life... probably not with matt though. Shes ready to leave and idk I guess i just think of myself as something only of her past... like something she'll remember 10 years from now and be like ohhh he was a nice guy but nothing more, and its just ashame she's going somewhere eather germany or nc and i will be out of sight and out of mind... and that just really hurts as well. I hope something looks up I hope if I leave her alone she might miss me... I hope i stop hoping, because usually it doesent get me anywhere...
Maybe she'll call me tonight I doubt it but theres a fighting chance that she wants to so I'll look forward to that.
I'm not doing much latley, Schools a damper I just kinda go for no other reason then school... It's not even about friends anymore, I litterally dont look forward to any classes, I'm kindof alone and me and ky are usually just not so hot. I think things will turn up though. They have to were at the bottom of the ferris wheel and its working its way up to the top I hope it just gets stuck there though