Janitor Guy -- Chapter Four
My day ended in the clinic, mopping out the exam rooms, replacing paper towels, and wiping down all the exam tables with heavy duty germ killer. The nurses at the desk were finishing their paperwork. It would be the night crew who would mop the nurses’ station and wipe down the waiting room chairs.
“Frank, we’re heading out, you want me to lock the door behind me?” Brenda asked on her way out.
“’Sokay, hon, I’ll get it.” I waved the last of the nurses good night.
“Pssst.”
I looked around, trying to figure out what just sprung a leak.
“Pssst!”
That was no leak. I turned my head and saw Doc House poking his head out from one of the exam rooms. “Is she still in there?”
I assumed he mean Dr. Cuddy. I took a peak. Her office was dark. “Looks gone to me, Doc.”
He walked out of his hidey-hole and approached me. “Did you know there are exactly 38 really good places to hide out on this floor alone?”
“I’ll keep that in mind, Doc. See you at your place at seven?”
“You got it, your turn to bring the beer.”
“Schlitz or Pabst Blue Ribbon?”
“Ugh, forget it, just bring the pretzels.” He hobbled out the door and I finished up mopping.
The wife doesn’t really mind my weekly poker games with the Doc. She thinks I’m doing him a favor. How she comes by that notion is anybody’s guess. She’s only met him once, but she’s good at reading people and is rarely wrong. So I don’t fight with her. Which is a good thing.
Doc did, in fact, have a new pigeon.
Wait, maybe I should back up a bit. Usually, the Thursday night poker game consists of me, some guy Doc met at a bus stop and a guy who works at a dry cleaners’. None of us knows each other’s names, which is a little weird, but Doc can’t remember anybody’s name anyway, so we just humor him. From what I understand, I replaced a guy who got real upset after one game ‘cause of some private information that came out during the course of the evening. Don’t know what it was, obviously, but he never came back. Me, I could care less.
Doc’s a good poker player. No tells that I’ve been able to catch. He plays mind games with everybody and can bluff you out of your socks. Not a lot of talking, just poker playing. My kinda game.
Anyway, the ‘pigeon’ was none other than Doc Wilson. When he arrived, the other two guys got kinda nervous and threatened to leave. “Don’t worry, gentlemen, no secrets to be let out of the bag this time, I assure you.” Doc started to shuffle and the other two guys looked at Doc Wilson nervously. He looked back at all of us, just as nervously.
We were playing for about a half an hour when Doc Wilson finally started talking. Everybody groaned, including Doc House. “What happened this time, House?”
“Already told you. Nothing, absolutely nothing, now shut up and play.”
He narrowed his eyes at Doc House and raised him. “Must be something. The whole hospital is talking.”
“Stupid people talk because they have nothing better to do. Now shut up.”
Dry cleaner guy folded and I raised again.
Doc House shifted his eyes to me and cracked one of his trademark evil grins. I couldn’t tell if he was going to congratulate me or wipe me out big time.
“Anything that involves a woman’s underwear drawer has to come from something, House, there’s got to be a kernel of truth in there somewhere.” He watched as Doc strung me along then shut me down with an inside straight. Dang! There was ninety-two bucks in that pot! I popped open another Foster’s.
Dry cleaner guy lit a cigar and promptly started chewing on it. Bus stop guy was fidgety as he could be. “You know where the bathroom is, we’ll wait.” Doc House started shuffling again.
Doc Wilson wasn’t gonna let it drop. “Well?”
“Oh, for crying out loud! The guy came into the clinic complaining of a rash. I told him to quit wearing his wife’s underwear, she obviously had crabs and now, so did he.”
We all looked at him like he’d pulled a rabbit out of his ear.
“How could you possibly have known he was wearing his wife’s underwear?” Bus Stop Boy asked as he was zipping up. I wished he never had. He looked at all of us. “You mean he had them on right there in the clinic? Are you kidding me?”
“Yep, little buggers crawling all over the place.” Doc House started dealing again.
“That’s it? That’s all there was to it?” Doc Wilson looked like he was staring at the tooth fairy or something. “So Cuddy is so upset with you because you told one of the biggest donors to the hospital that his wife was cheating on him. My God House, how many times does that make in the last four years? When are you ever going to find a tactful way to break that kind of news to people?” Doc Wilson was laughing now. “She’s going to have you drawn and quartered one of these days!”
“First of all what is one of the biggest donors to the hospital doing in the free clinic and why is it my fault that people are stupid and want to stay that way?” Doc House tapped his cards on the table impatiently.
“But wait,” I couldn’t help myself, “how did that turn in to you getting caught in some woman’s underwear drawer?” I looked around at the table. “THAT’s the story that’s going around the hospital like wildfire!”
“That, my friend,” he rather casually replied, “is because our beloved Nurse Brenda heard only a snippet the conversation and can’t keep her mouth shut.” With that, he took a swig of scotch and a new hand started.