Hate this shit....
I....am so in lost of words..... I can't keep this quiet, I've joined some Lesbian communities.....like singles, just to see what was out there and let me tell you, there isn't much! A lot of these girls only want you if your "hot" or they are in relationships and want to be with other girls as well. I am so baffled but not surprised by this. See, THAT is what I'm scared of. I'm scared of never being able to have that. That's why I was trying to hold onto Liz so tightly because I was scared of her turning out that way! Which was why I was soooooo fucking hurt when she told me that she had sex with another girl. It literally tore me up. Liz is the only girl I have ever loved, the only one I've been with and STILL the only one I want to be with. Even though I KNOW she likes other girls and many other people like her and that tears me up. I mean, since we broke up, she's kissed a couple/few people and every single one that I've heard of, tears me up! It scares me that she's going to be the way that a lot of other lesbians are. I'm NOT that way, I am faithful, honest, trustworthy and I want a woman who wants ONLY me...I don't care if she would look, as long as the only one she touches is ME....and I'm seriously feeling nowadays that, that's all I will ever see. I REALLY don't see me meeting a girl that wants only me cause I"m NOT "Hot" and according to Liz and a lot of people that meet/know me by acquaintance or whatever, they think I'm just a BITCH. And I am a bitch, I admit that but I don't mean to come off that way. People don't even give me a chance, they just shrug me off as the piece of shit that I am. WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SUFFER THROUGH ALL THIS BULLSHIT? I'm NOT even fucking lying when I say this but I DON'T want to live anymore! And one more thing before I end this, I'm keeping this post public, for now, but I'm taking almost everyone off my friends list. If your still on, then take into consideration that I respect the rest of you because you actually give a shit to talk to me! Goodbye! "You are so yesterday, I'm just a bird that's already flown away!"