(no subject)
My 300 dollar feast. I love you, because I admire the love you have for her. Thank you for supporting me, but can you love me, please? If you loved me maybe I wouldn't have to go looking for all this love elsewhere. I don't know, I'm just someone who's never had it before. You try, but I'd like to know.
My long embraces, my forehead kisses. To my sweet chariot. My bittersweet anticipatory love scandal. I love you. To me it's a forbidden love. I cannot love either one of these pieces of me. I can't seem to understand why I always find myself wrapped up in something like this. But then it comes to me. Because I love it. I've never been caught like this, between rain and sunshine, but I love it. I hate it- I love it. I don't want it- I want nothing else in the world but this. So I'm asking that you kindly make up what you're going to do, even if doesn't have a bow on top. And sugar isn't falling from the sky. I don't want anything to happen because I'm unsure of the rain. Is the rainy season over? I don't want it to be. I fell in love with the rain. It's everything I've ever wanted, like nothing I've ever imagined. Tomorrow it's sunny. I enjoy the sun. It never reaches me though. Never once has the sun reached me. I'm guessing because it's inexperienced. Doesn't know how to reach me. Well, I'm kindly asking that whatever the weather may be, it happen soon. I don't want to guess anymore. I want to be prepared for a rain storm or the hottest day of the week. Please, please let the confusion clear and the light shine through. I want to know what it is I'm doing and why. I never could understand this. I need something to happen. Tomorrow is too late. But so was yesterday. Today and forever. And what is there to know? This is what it is. You and me alone. True simplicity. What is there to know? This is what it is. You and me alone. True simplicity.
oh. And then she loved and was loved.
"Each day is taking us closer while drawing the curtains closed...taking me farther than I need to know. Your increasingly long embraces, are they saying sorry or please? I don't know what's happening. Help me."
Right now, you make no sense to me.