Kings Among Runaways - Chapter Five (Logan / Veronica) R
Title: Kings Among Runaways
Author: Tina
Word Count: 18,864 so far
Rating: PG-13 to R
Characters: Logan / Veronica
Summary: Pre-series. Even if Lilly had lived, things still would’ve been screwy.
Spoilers / Warnings: Set pre-season, but references to first season are fair game.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I’d probably break it.
AN: Back to school, hopefully back to writing. Cross your fingers. And I've read over this, but if/when you find mistakes, please let me know.
Previous Chapters
Chapter Five
Veronica dug her spoon into the half-pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream, surprised when she hit the cardboard bottom. She looked down at Logan - who was sprawled across her living room floor - sheepishly, a faint blush coloring her face when he turned to her.
“Damn, Mars,” he commented, rolling to his side. “You didn’t even offer to share with me.”
“Because you’re having such a hard time lately?” Veronica scoffed.
Well, actually, Logan thought, discreetly eying the line of Veronica’s calf, which was partially hidden under an afghan, but he knew better than to say it. “Yeah,” he told her instead. “Well, Lilly can be a bitch sometimes. You know that. She’ll be over it in a week.”
Veronica rolled her eyes, stretching her arm backwards to deposit the empty carton on the end table. Logan watched her, his eyes darkening as her tee shirt pulled taut over chest, emphasizing everything in the right ways.
“I know,” Veronica was continuing, curling back into herself. Logan tore his eyes away and rolled back onto his stomach. “I mean, this is just so stupid, though. Just because I wouldn’t go to the party with Duncan.”
“Do you want to go to the party with Duncan?” Logan hadn’t been planning on asking the question, and his whole body went tense as he waited for her answer.
And waited.
And waited.
“Veronica - ?” he finally asked. “Do - ?”
“I heard you,” she said softly. “I’m just… I was thinking.” She paused again, and Logan was just going to let it go, realizing a moment too late that her silence was probably answer enough. And an answer he didn’t want.
But just as he reached for the remote at her feet, she spoke, softly. “I want… to want to go with him.” His hand stopped in midair as though all of his effort was going into processing her words.
When he didn’t immediately respond, Veronica began explaining. “It’s, like, it would just be so much easier if I just wanted to be there with him. Lilly wants us to go, and he’s started looking me in the eye again, and everything was just so much easier when we were together. But…”
Logan held his breath. “But?”
“I just… I don’t want to do it just because Lilly wants us to.” She shook her head like there was more she wanted to say, but she couldn’t find the words. “I care about him, Logan. I think I probably always will. But I don’t trust him anymore.” She paused, looking up from the thread she had been picking at as if she’d just realized who she’d been talking to. “Oh, god, Logan, I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear any of this.”
No, I really, really don’t, he thought, even as he shook his head. He was just opening his mouth to reassure her when she continued, her voice soft and haunting.
“God, he’s your best friend.”
And yeah, that did make him feel awful.
…
The first time Veronica found her mother passed out on the living room couch, she assumed that she’d just fallen asleep reading. She was on her way to her room, just back from driving around town with Logan, and she stopped when she saw her mother’s outline in the mirror above the fireplace. The house had been quiet; she’d assumed it was empty, and her mother’s shape caught her by surprise. She usually only fell asleep in the living room when she had her little movie marathons, or sometimes when she was fighting with Keith. Veronica drew a quilt from across the back of the couch and was leaning over to cover her mother when the overwhelming scent of vodka hit her.
The quilt fell from her hands, pooling along her mother’s side as she took a stumbling step back, blinking rapidly as if it might clear away the scene in front of her.
Her mother didn’t drink. Maybe a glass of wine on a holiday or a tumbler of cognac on a special occasion.
Her mother did not get drunk.
Veronica stepped back to the edge of the couch, feeling the hot sting of tears coming to her eyes. What was she supposed to do? It wasn’t that she’d never been around drunks before, but Logan was the only one that she ever really had to deal with.
Logan was surprisingly good at handling his alcohol. And even when he was completely hammered, he always had his own suggestions on the care that he should be receiving.
Generally those suggestions could pretty readily be thrown out, but it was reassuring that he usually could still mumble a few crude remarks about the breadth of her back seat in between the bouts of dry heaving.
He was never silent. Veronica didn’t know what to do with silent.
By habit, she called Logan.
“Veronica, I’m barely a mile from your house,” Logan quipped. “I know that I’m devastatingly charismatic, but do you really miss me that much?”
“Logan - ” Her voice caught, and she clutched the back of the couch with her free hand. “Logan, my mom… she’s…”
“Veronica, what happened?” She opened her mouth, trying to force the words out, but they were rough and scratched along the tip of her tongue. “Veronica, tell me what’s wrong.”
“Logan, she’s just-she’s passed out on the couch,” Veronica told him, her voice halting and quiet. “And, god, she just-everything, it all reeks of vodka.” She took her hand away from the couch, her eyes darting around the room as she tried to find anything normal and safe to ground herself it.
But everything smelled of vodka now that the scent was in her sinuses, and it lingered with every image she paused on.
“I don’t know what to do,” she added quietly.
Logan’s curse was soft on the other end of the line, aimed away from the phone and into the quiet night air.
“Is she breathing?” Veronica laid her fingers across her mother’s upper lip, expelling a relieved sigh at the gentle puffs of air she felt when she did.
“Yeah.”
“That’s good,” Logan reassured her, and she could hear him using his calming voice. She could also hear the tension beneath it, the fear that he was covering to keep her from panicking. “That’s really good. Where is your dad, Veronica? He’ll know what to do.”
“I don’t… know,” Veronica admitted. “They fight all the time now. He’s… he’s been at work a lot.”
“How is she lying on the couch? On her back? Her side? Her stomach?”
“Her back,” Veronica answered, trying to follow his scattered train of thought.
“Roll her onto her side. Gently, okay?” Veronica did, setting the phone on the table while she rolled her mother. She moved like dead weight.
“What now?”
Logan sighed, the sound soft and low, resonating against her ear. “Call your dad,” he told her simply. “I can’t tell how bad she is without seeing her, but if she’s breathing that’s a good thing. Get a bowl in case she starts to throw up, and keep her on her side so she doesn’t choke. And just make sure that she keeps breathing.”
“Logan…”
“Call your dad, Veronica,” Logan urged her gently. “And if you need me, you always know how to find me.”
…
“He took her to the emergency room.” Veronica’s voice was flat over the low static on Logan’s phone. “They had to pump her stomach.”
“Veronica…”
“No, I just… I needed to talk to someone.” She let out a heavy breath. “I couldn’t call Lilly. I’m sorry it’s so late.”
“Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t asleep.” Logan paused. “Is she going to be okay?”
“She’ll be there overnight,” Veronica told him. “Dad says that they think she’ll be fine. He won’t really talk to me about it, though. He’s really angry.”
“I’m sorry, Veronica.” He toyed with the phone for a moment, moving it from one ear to the other. “If you want to come over, or, you know, if you want me to come over there…” He took a deep breath. “I’m here if you need me.”
“I know.” The smile was small, but he could hear it, faintly. “It’s okay, though. I just wanted - I don’t know. I guess I just needed to say it someone.”
“I’ll pick you up for school tomorrow, okay?” Logan said, spitting the words out before he could think about it.
“You don’t have - ”
“I know. I want to.”
She knew it was a bad idea. She knew that Lilly would be furious, and it would probably cause more problems than it solved. As it was, Lilly hadn’t spoken to her in 36 hours. She knew that she should politely turn him down and hang up.
But then her mouth opened, and a soft “Okay” was whispered into the phone.
“Good night, Veronica.” She could hear his smile.
. . .
His lips are soft against the cool, smooth skin of her neck. She arches back, pressing her body closer to him, her hands tangled in his hair as she curls one leg over his.
He pulls back, his face flushed and his lips tinted with the gloss that is now smeared across her face. He’s kneeling between her spread thighs, watching her with that half smile that makes everything inside of her shiver. She wraps one hand into his shirt, pulling him down on top of her. She’s just about to turn the tables, her hands inching under his tee shirt, when he wraps his hands around her waist and flips them.
Her hands press into his abdomen, feeling the lines of muscle under taut skin. He smiles up at her, and her mouth goes completely dry when his hands run deftly up her sides, slicking her shirt over her head. When she looks back down at him, he’s watching her so intently she wants to roll back over, hide under the wrinkled blankets. But then his hand runs along the ridges of her spine, coaxing her lower. He raises his lips to meet hers, his tongue brushing over her lower lip until she opens her mouth with a soft mew.
His hands slide back up her sides, grazing the sensitive skin just long enough to make her squirm against him. He smiles against her lips, and she moves to swat him, but he moves faster.
His finger brushes over her nipple, and suddenly she’s still again, her eyes wide as she looks down at him. He pauses, and she’s amazed to see this over-confident, egotistical boy look so unsure of himself with her. She arches her back, silently telling him - begging him - to continue.
He smiles again, all at once back to his normal self, and his hand cups her breast. His free hand glides up her back, guiding her back down to him, as he leans up to flick his tongue across her nipple.
She falls back to him, and he rolls them again, lying on top of her as he peppers her chest with hot, open-mouthed kisses.
“Oh god,” she mutters, and now her hands are under his shirt, her fingers pressing him closer, closer. “Logan - ”
Veronica rolled over and forcefully slammed on the snooze button, groaning at the untimely intrusion of her alarm clock. She pressed her eyes tightly closed, willing her body to return to that incredibly vivid dream.
Veronica bolted up, her senses slowly returning.
She’d been dreaming about Logan.
She flushed, arms unconsciously crossing across her chest as she remembered his eager exploration of that particular piece of her anatomy.
Her phone began ringing on her nightstand, and she groaned when she heard Logan’s ringtone.
Oh, god.
“Yeah?” she answered, hoping he couldn’t hear her blushing.
“I’ll pick you up in half an hour, okay?” he asked.
She nodded, then realized that he couldn’t actually see her. Thank god. “Okay. That sounds good.”
Oh. God.
. . .
Her father was sitting at the kitchen table when she walked out of her room twenty minutes later. He looked tired and pale, and she wished that she knew something that would make him feel better.
They wouldn’t tell her what was wrong, and she had no idea how to fix what they’d broken.
“You’re mom will be back tonight, sweetheart,” Keith told her. “The doctors say she’s going to be fine.”
“She’s alone?” Veronica asked. “I thought you were going to wait at the hospital.”
“She’s sleeping, Veronica. I just came home to shower and make sure you were okay. That was brave of you last night.”
“It was Logan,” she told him. “He was the one who told me what to do.”
“Logan was here? Veronica, boys aren’t supposed to be in the house at night when we aren’t here.”
“I called him, Dad. He just dropped me off.”
“Oh.” Keith tilted his coffee cup, looking down at the last few sips. “Well, alright. He’s a good friend.”
“Yeah.”
She started for the door, but paused when her father called her name. “I’m sorry about all this, Veronica. Everything with me and your mom. You shouldn’t have to be hiding from us.”
Veronica shrugged. “I’m not hiding.” The lie was thin and obvious, but there wasn’t really anything else to say.
. . .
Logan pulled up in front of the house almost twenty minutes later, his hair still wet from his shower and peppering small freckles of water onto his shoulders. Veronica slid into the passenger seat, avoiding all eye contact as she pressed her backpack into the floor in front of her.
“How are you doing?” Logan’s fingers ghosted gently across her bicep, and she felt a tingle in their wake. “How’s your mom?”
Veronica toyed with her fingers, still watching the floor. “Okay,” she said softly. “She’s supposed to come home soon.”
“Do you want to wait for her?” That brought a small smile to Veronica’s face. Logan would do just about anything to get out of a little bit of class.
“No,” Veronica told him. “It’ll be a few hours still. If you’re going to drive me to class, you should probably, you know, drive.”
“Bossy, bossy,” Logan commented, shifting the car into gear. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes scanning the face that wouldn’t look at him. “You don’t really seem like you’re all right, Veronica.”
“What?” It came out in a squeak, a small puff of air leaked through her lips.
“I don’t know,” he said, and the look of confusion on his face was completely adorable.
Veronica mentally chastised herself for even thinking the words Logan and adorable in the same sentence.
“It’s just…” Logan trailed off, pulling out into the parking lot. “You seem different, I guess.”
Veronica could feel the blood flood her cheeks, and she clamped down on her lip, knowing that she was about to spit out the whole truth.
She told Logan everything lately. Her mouth didn’t seem to understand that this was most definitely not the time.
“I had a dream about you,” she blurted. Her cheeks turned a whole new shade of red, and she trained her eyes on the floor.
“You had a dream about me?” Her face flushed prettily as he glanced at her. “What kind of dream?”
“Logan…” She groaned his name, turning her face away in mortification. A slow smile spread across his face.
“Veronica Mars!” Logan faux gasped, his palm rising to cover his lips. “Did you have a naughty dream about me?”
“Not funny, Logan,” Veronica deadpanned. She propped her elbow on the door, turning to face out the window. “God, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s going to be all awkward now.” She muttered something unflattering under her breath, but Logan couldn’t make out the words.
Glancing across the center consol, Logan tried to suppress his own smile. The fact that pure, innocent Veronica was having blush-worthy dreams about him was doing all kinds of wonders for his ego. He had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate if he told her so, though. “It’ll only be awkward if you let it,” he reassured her. “It’s not a big deal, Veronica. You’ve been spending a lot of time with me. It’s nothing; just let it go.” And he kind of hated that he could write it all off that easily.
He wanted it to mean something. Which is probably why he felt the need to add, “Your subconscious just wants me naked.”
“Oh, god.”
Then he did laugh, glancing at her again. “Relax, Veronica. Don’t worry about it.”
“Lilly’s going to hate me.”
Logan instantly felt all of his muscles tense. “Don’t tell her.”
Veronica’s eyes widened, and her whole body swiveled toward Logan. “And what about you? What are you going to say?”
Logan pulled into the parking lot, taking his usual space near the building. When he turned to Veronica, her eyes were intent on him, and he could read faint glimmers of fear and guilt on her face. In that moment, he hated Lilly for her hold on Veronica, for the fierce loyalty she inspired from this petite blonde.
“I won’t say a word,” he promised. His hand, moving without consulting him, brushed a strand of Veronica’s long hair across her shoulder. His finger trailed down her arm, lingering against her wrist. “It’s none of her business.”
Veronica’s smile was small but genuine. “Thank you, Logan.” Then she slid out of the car and stepped into the courtyard. Her hand had brushed his, but the touch was so soft he wondered if she’d meant to do it at all.
. . .
With Lilly, the difference between the silent treatment and BFF spa treatments was usually a matter of days.
That, or she never spoke to the person again.
Veronica wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting when she walked to her locker and found Lilly propped up beside it, but she was glad that she had slipped away from Logan in the parking lot. She didn’t want to have to choose between him and Lilly. She wouldn’t.
But being around the two of them together was becoming more and more of a problem.
“Veronica, you’re coming out with me tonight.”
Apparently they were friends again.
“Where?”
“Dinner,” Lilly answered. “With Weevil. And Duncan.”
Veronica was halfway through her locker combination, and her fingers stilled. “Excuse me?”
“It’s not a double date or anything,” Lilly told her. “Because, god, I know how you’d freak out about that. But have you ever even spoken to my boyfriend, Veronica? No. What kind of friend does that make you?” Lilly paused for the briefest of moments before answering her own question. “A shitty one. And with how much time you’ve been spending with my ex, I kind of think you should earn some best friend points, okay?” Veronica opened her mouth to object, but Lilly cut her off. “Yeah, yeah, he’s not my ex; he’s your friend, blah, blah, blah. You’ve said all this, Veronica. You’ve also been avoiding me for weeks.” She waved her hand in the air to brush off Veronica’s retort. “Or you haven’t been. Whatever. But I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“Lilly,” Veronica cut in. “Fine. Where should I meet you?”
“I’ll pick you up. Be ready at seven.”
“But - ”
“I’ve got to go tell Duncan. I’ll see you tonight.”
Lilly was gone before Veronica could say anything else.
. . .
“Yeah, that’s going to suck.” Wallace used one of the tongue depressors to poke at the cloudy liquid on the Bunsen burner. “What the hell are we supposed to be looking for here, anyway?”
“Wallace, you have a knack for the understatement.” Veronica pushed his hand away, snagging the tongue depressor. She stirred the saltwater solution, carefully keeping the un-gloved part of her hand clear of the steam. “And we’re just letting it evaporate. We’re not looking for anything. You should really look up from that magazine you hide in your book every once in a while.”
“The playbook isn’t a magazine, Veronica,” Wallace said. “And we’ve been over you calling it that. I don’t call the New Testament a ‘magazine’.”
“No, you just use it as a paperweight.”
“You know, I hope Logan tells them to make your wand into a vibrator.” He smirked at Veronica, reaching around her to grab the playbook from his bag. “It’s what you’d deserve.”
. . .
“I got the results,” Lilly whispered behind her copy of Cosmo. The study hall was fairly empty, and no one sat next to Lilly unless she asked them to. There were three empty chairs in between her and Duncan and the nearest student.
“What did they say?” The trepidation in his voice brought out an uncommon surge of big sisterly emotion in Lilly, and she glanced at him behind the pages. She smiled softly, shrugging before he could get the wrong idea.
“I didn’t open it,” she told him. “It’s not like anything changes for me either way. You should be the one to open it. I left it in my room.”
“Is this why you’re making me go to the dinner tonight?”
“Have you spoken to my boyfriend?”
“Not since he stole my Nikes in sixth grade. And then it wasn’t so much talking as bleeding.”
Lilly shook her head, turning back to the magazine. “Then this dinner has nothing to do with Veronica. It could have something to do with you proving that you didn’t only want to hang out with me when I was dating your best friend, you ass.”
“Lilly…” Duncan sighed. She turned to him, and he didn’t know what to say again. “It was different before,” he finished lamely.
“Well, pretend like you don’t think I’m the scum of the earth, because occasionally it’s kind of nice to have you around. You know, like, when Mom goes postal on me. In case you haven’t noticed, she’s kind of gone into overdrive since you’ve been in hibernation.”
“I told you I’d come, Lilly. Quit the guilt trip. I’m sorry.”
She was silent for a moment, and Duncan thought the conversation was over until he heard her speak again. “Don’t tell Veronica tonight,” she whispered, and her face was completely serious. “Either way, just don’t tell her tonight.”
“But - ”
“Just wait until Halloween. Tonight, you can just… show her you’re still interested.” Lilly turned back to her magazine, her voice dropping lower. “She’s been avoiding me, too, Duncan. She’s still my best friend, and all we’ve done since you broke up is fight.”
. . .
“You’re ditching me for Lilly?” Logan asked, pulling up in front of Veronica house. “That’s a low blow, Mars.”
“Yeah, because it’s not like I haven’t been ditching Lilly for you for weeks,” Veronica tossed back, gathering her things from the back of the car. “And can’t you tell how thrilled I am about this dinner, Logan?” She gestured to her less-than-amused expression, and then reached back into the backseat.
“Yeah,” Logan said. “I know how you generally look like you’re eating glass when you’re really excited.”
“You should probably work on your compliments before you throw yourself back into the dating world, Echolls.”
“Throw myself back?” Logan parroted. “What makes you think I’m not already back?”
“Well, I haven’t seen the usual batch of soon-to-be hookers swarming from your house lately.”
“I have to keep hiding them in the closets, because you keep showing up unexpectedly,” Logan explained. “Besides, Mars, you know you’re the only one I’ll let spend the night.”
“Aw,” Veronica deadpanned. “And I won’t let you in my pants. That must be hard for you.”
“But you want me in your pants.” He really couldn’t resist saying it, and the flush that fell over her face was so adorable that he didn’t really feel very guilty about it.
“Logan, you said that you wouldn’t say anything about it.”
“To Lilly,” he reminded her, still smiling. “I have to be able to tease you about it.”
“You’re a horrible friend,” she told him, opening her door. “I just think you should realize that.”
“So you must just be sticking around for my body,” Logan teased. “I feel like such a piece of meat.” She rolled her eyes, turning to leave, when he caught her wrist. “If anything goes wrong tonight, you can call me. You know that, right? I’ll come get you wherever.”
Veronica smiled. “Thanks, Logan. I’ll keep that in mind. I think it’ll be okay, though.”
“I’m here for you, Mars. Later you can give me a little recap of that dream of yours as a thank you.”
“Hold your breath on that.” She pulled her wrist out of his hand and slugged him in the shoulder, then walked up the front path.
. . .
“Mom?” Veronica called, glancing around the living room. She jogged up the stairs, stopping when she finally caught sight of her mother, lying on her parents’ bed. Her father was sitting on a chair in the corner, and he looked like he might’ve been crying.
“She’s alright, Veronica,” her dad assured her. “She’s just sleeping.”
“What’s wrong, Dad?” She was standing in the doorway, and she looked ready to flee at the slightest sign.
“It’s… there’s just something that your mother and I need to talk about, Veronica.” He ran a hand over his balding scalp, looking tired and much older than he was. “Do you have plans tonight, sweetheart? Maybe you and I can go and get dinner. I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“I have plans with Lilly,” she said softly. Instantly, she felt guilty, because she hadn’t seen her father in days, other than a for a few moments here and there. Still, though, the look on his face made her want to delay this conversation longer and longer.
She didn’t want to know what he wanted to tell her.
“Okay, sweetheart,” he told her, but she could tell he was disappointed that she hadn’t offered to cancel. “Have a good time.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Her smile was tight as she turned and locked herself in her room.
. . .
“This is it?” Duncan asked, fingering the simple white envelope.
“Yeah. What were you expecting? It just has to say yes or no.” Lilly rolled her eyes, continuing to skim through her closet. She pulled out a couple of dresses and threw them on her bed. “Open it,” she said when she saw that Duncan was still staring at the envelope. “Unless you plan on using your x-ray vision to read it.”
“What do you care?” Duncan asked. “I thought it didn’t matter to you.”
Lilly’s face was a mask of irritation when she snatched the letter from Duncan’s hand. “Of course it matters to me, Donut. Just because I won’t have to cut Veronica out of my life doesn’t mean that I don’t care whether or not she’s our sister.”
“You’ve been kind of a bitch to her.”
“She’s been kind of a bitch to me, too.” Lilly ran her finger along the seam of the envelope, ripping it open. “Are you saying I should kiss Veronica’s ass? Because that’s not who I am, and you know that as well as she does. Get over yourself, Duncan. You’re not even her boyfriend again. Yet.”
“Lilly, open the damn letter.” She unfolded the crisp white paper deliberately slowly, and as she read over the small print, she let emotions play across her face dramatically. “What the hell does it say, Lilly?” Duncan demanded after a long pause.
“It says that Mom’s a dirty liar,” Lilly told him. “Veronica is not our sister.”
Author: Tina
Word Count: 18,864 so far
Rating: PG-13 to R
Characters: Logan / Veronica
Summary: Pre-series. Even if Lilly had lived, things still would’ve been screwy.
Spoilers / Warnings: Set pre-season, but references to first season are fair game.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I’d probably break it.
AN: Back to school, hopefully back to writing. Cross your fingers. And I've read over this, but if/when you find mistakes, please let me know.
Previous Chapters
Chapter Five
Veronica dug her spoon into the half-pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream, surprised when she hit the cardboard bottom. She looked down at Logan - who was sprawled across her living room floor - sheepishly, a faint blush coloring her face when he turned to her.
“Damn, Mars,” he commented, rolling to his side. “You didn’t even offer to share with me.”
“Because you’re having such a hard time lately?” Veronica scoffed.
Well, actually, Logan thought, discreetly eying the line of Veronica’s calf, which was partially hidden under an afghan, but he knew better than to say it. “Yeah,” he told her instead. “Well, Lilly can be a bitch sometimes. You know that. She’ll be over it in a week.”
Veronica rolled her eyes, stretching her arm backwards to deposit the empty carton on the end table. Logan watched her, his eyes darkening as her tee shirt pulled taut over chest, emphasizing everything in the right ways.
“I know,” Veronica was continuing, curling back into herself. Logan tore his eyes away and rolled back onto his stomach. “I mean, this is just so stupid, though. Just because I wouldn’t go to the party with Duncan.”
“Do you want to go to the party with Duncan?” Logan hadn’t been planning on asking the question, and his whole body went tense as he waited for her answer.
And waited.
And waited.
“Veronica - ?” he finally asked. “Do - ?”
“I heard you,” she said softly. “I’m just… I was thinking.” She paused again, and Logan was just going to let it go, realizing a moment too late that her silence was probably answer enough. And an answer he didn’t want.
But just as he reached for the remote at her feet, she spoke, softly. “I want… to want to go with him.” His hand stopped in midair as though all of his effort was going into processing her words.
When he didn’t immediately respond, Veronica began explaining. “It’s, like, it would just be so much easier if I just wanted to be there with him. Lilly wants us to go, and he’s started looking me in the eye again, and everything was just so much easier when we were together. But…”
Logan held his breath. “But?”
“I just… I don’t want to do it just because Lilly wants us to.” She shook her head like there was more she wanted to say, but she couldn’t find the words. “I care about him, Logan. I think I probably always will. But I don’t trust him anymore.” She paused, looking up from the thread she had been picking at as if she’d just realized who she’d been talking to. “Oh, god, Logan, I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear any of this.”
No, I really, really don’t, he thought, even as he shook his head. He was just opening his mouth to reassure her when she continued, her voice soft and haunting.
“God, he’s your best friend.”
And yeah, that did make him feel awful.
…
The first time Veronica found her mother passed out on the living room couch, she assumed that she’d just fallen asleep reading. She was on her way to her room, just back from driving around town with Logan, and she stopped when she saw her mother’s outline in the mirror above the fireplace. The house had been quiet; she’d assumed it was empty, and her mother’s shape caught her by surprise. She usually only fell asleep in the living room when she had her little movie marathons, or sometimes when she was fighting with Keith. Veronica drew a quilt from across the back of the couch and was leaning over to cover her mother when the overwhelming scent of vodka hit her.
The quilt fell from her hands, pooling along her mother’s side as she took a stumbling step back, blinking rapidly as if it might clear away the scene in front of her.
Her mother didn’t drink. Maybe a glass of wine on a holiday or a tumbler of cognac on a special occasion.
Her mother did not get drunk.
Veronica stepped back to the edge of the couch, feeling the hot sting of tears coming to her eyes. What was she supposed to do? It wasn’t that she’d never been around drunks before, but Logan was the only one that she ever really had to deal with.
Logan was surprisingly good at handling his alcohol. And even when he was completely hammered, he always had his own suggestions on the care that he should be receiving.
Generally those suggestions could pretty readily be thrown out, but it was reassuring that he usually could still mumble a few crude remarks about the breadth of her back seat in between the bouts of dry heaving.
He was never silent. Veronica didn’t know what to do with silent.
By habit, she called Logan.
“Veronica, I’m barely a mile from your house,” Logan quipped. “I know that I’m devastatingly charismatic, but do you really miss me that much?”
“Logan - ” Her voice caught, and she clutched the back of the couch with her free hand. “Logan, my mom… she’s…”
“Veronica, what happened?” She opened her mouth, trying to force the words out, but they were rough and scratched along the tip of her tongue. “Veronica, tell me what’s wrong.”
“Logan, she’s just-she’s passed out on the couch,” Veronica told him, her voice halting and quiet. “And, god, she just-everything, it all reeks of vodka.” She took her hand away from the couch, her eyes darting around the room as she tried to find anything normal and safe to ground herself it.
But everything smelled of vodka now that the scent was in her sinuses, and it lingered with every image she paused on.
“I don’t know what to do,” she added quietly.
Logan’s curse was soft on the other end of the line, aimed away from the phone and into the quiet night air.
“Is she breathing?” Veronica laid her fingers across her mother’s upper lip, expelling a relieved sigh at the gentle puffs of air she felt when she did.
“Yeah.”
“That’s good,” Logan reassured her, and she could hear him using his calming voice. She could also hear the tension beneath it, the fear that he was covering to keep her from panicking. “That’s really good. Where is your dad, Veronica? He’ll know what to do.”
“I don’t… know,” Veronica admitted. “They fight all the time now. He’s… he’s been at work a lot.”
“How is she lying on the couch? On her back? Her side? Her stomach?”
“Her back,” Veronica answered, trying to follow his scattered train of thought.
“Roll her onto her side. Gently, okay?” Veronica did, setting the phone on the table while she rolled her mother. She moved like dead weight.
“What now?”
Logan sighed, the sound soft and low, resonating against her ear. “Call your dad,” he told her simply. “I can’t tell how bad she is without seeing her, but if she’s breathing that’s a good thing. Get a bowl in case she starts to throw up, and keep her on her side so she doesn’t choke. And just make sure that she keeps breathing.”
“Logan…”
“Call your dad, Veronica,” Logan urged her gently. “And if you need me, you always know how to find me.”
…
“He took her to the emergency room.” Veronica’s voice was flat over the low static on Logan’s phone. “They had to pump her stomach.”
“Veronica…”
“No, I just… I needed to talk to someone.” She let out a heavy breath. “I couldn’t call Lilly. I’m sorry it’s so late.”
“Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t asleep.” Logan paused. “Is she going to be okay?”
“She’ll be there overnight,” Veronica told him. “Dad says that they think she’ll be fine. He won’t really talk to me about it, though. He’s really angry.”
“I’m sorry, Veronica.” He toyed with the phone for a moment, moving it from one ear to the other. “If you want to come over, or, you know, if you want me to come over there…” He took a deep breath. “I’m here if you need me.”
“I know.” The smile was small, but he could hear it, faintly. “It’s okay, though. I just wanted - I don’t know. I guess I just needed to say it someone.”
“I’ll pick you up for school tomorrow, okay?” Logan said, spitting the words out before he could think about it.
“You don’t have - ”
“I know. I want to.”
She knew it was a bad idea. She knew that Lilly would be furious, and it would probably cause more problems than it solved. As it was, Lilly hadn’t spoken to her in 36 hours. She knew that she should politely turn him down and hang up.
But then her mouth opened, and a soft “Okay” was whispered into the phone.
“Good night, Veronica.” She could hear his smile.
. . .
His lips are soft against the cool, smooth skin of her neck. She arches back, pressing her body closer to him, her hands tangled in his hair as she curls one leg over his.
He pulls back, his face flushed and his lips tinted with the gloss that is now smeared across her face. He’s kneeling between her spread thighs, watching her with that half smile that makes everything inside of her shiver. She wraps one hand into his shirt, pulling him down on top of her. She’s just about to turn the tables, her hands inching under his tee shirt, when he wraps his hands around her waist and flips them.
Her hands press into his abdomen, feeling the lines of muscle under taut skin. He smiles up at her, and her mouth goes completely dry when his hands run deftly up her sides, slicking her shirt over her head. When she looks back down at him, he’s watching her so intently she wants to roll back over, hide under the wrinkled blankets. But then his hand runs along the ridges of her spine, coaxing her lower. He raises his lips to meet hers, his tongue brushing over her lower lip until she opens her mouth with a soft mew.
His hands slide back up her sides, grazing the sensitive skin just long enough to make her squirm against him. He smiles against her lips, and she moves to swat him, but he moves faster.
His finger brushes over her nipple, and suddenly she’s still again, her eyes wide as she looks down at him. He pauses, and she’s amazed to see this over-confident, egotistical boy look so unsure of himself with her. She arches her back, silently telling him - begging him - to continue.
He smiles again, all at once back to his normal self, and his hand cups her breast. His free hand glides up her back, guiding her back down to him, as he leans up to flick his tongue across her nipple.
She falls back to him, and he rolls them again, lying on top of her as he peppers her chest with hot, open-mouthed kisses.
“Oh god,” she mutters, and now her hands are under his shirt, her fingers pressing him closer, closer. “Logan - ”
Veronica rolled over and forcefully slammed on the snooze button, groaning at the untimely intrusion of her alarm clock. She pressed her eyes tightly closed, willing her body to return to that incredibly vivid dream.
Veronica bolted up, her senses slowly returning.
She’d been dreaming about Logan.
She flushed, arms unconsciously crossing across her chest as she remembered his eager exploration of that particular piece of her anatomy.
Her phone began ringing on her nightstand, and she groaned when she heard Logan’s ringtone.
Oh, god.
“Yeah?” she answered, hoping he couldn’t hear her blushing.
“I’ll pick you up in half an hour, okay?” he asked.
She nodded, then realized that he couldn’t actually see her. Thank god. “Okay. That sounds good.”
Oh. God.
. . .
Her father was sitting at the kitchen table when she walked out of her room twenty minutes later. He looked tired and pale, and she wished that she knew something that would make him feel better.
They wouldn’t tell her what was wrong, and she had no idea how to fix what they’d broken.
“You’re mom will be back tonight, sweetheart,” Keith told her. “The doctors say she’s going to be fine.”
“She’s alone?” Veronica asked. “I thought you were going to wait at the hospital.”
“She’s sleeping, Veronica. I just came home to shower and make sure you were okay. That was brave of you last night.”
“It was Logan,” she told him. “He was the one who told me what to do.”
“Logan was here? Veronica, boys aren’t supposed to be in the house at night when we aren’t here.”
“I called him, Dad. He just dropped me off.”
“Oh.” Keith tilted his coffee cup, looking down at the last few sips. “Well, alright. He’s a good friend.”
“Yeah.”
She started for the door, but paused when her father called her name. “I’m sorry about all this, Veronica. Everything with me and your mom. You shouldn’t have to be hiding from us.”
Veronica shrugged. “I’m not hiding.” The lie was thin and obvious, but there wasn’t really anything else to say.
. . .
Logan pulled up in front of the house almost twenty minutes later, his hair still wet from his shower and peppering small freckles of water onto his shoulders. Veronica slid into the passenger seat, avoiding all eye contact as she pressed her backpack into the floor in front of her.
“How are you doing?” Logan’s fingers ghosted gently across her bicep, and she felt a tingle in their wake. “How’s your mom?”
Veronica toyed with her fingers, still watching the floor. “Okay,” she said softly. “She’s supposed to come home soon.”
“Do you want to wait for her?” That brought a small smile to Veronica’s face. Logan would do just about anything to get out of a little bit of class.
“No,” Veronica told him. “It’ll be a few hours still. If you’re going to drive me to class, you should probably, you know, drive.”
“Bossy, bossy,” Logan commented, shifting the car into gear. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes scanning the face that wouldn’t look at him. “You don’t really seem like you’re all right, Veronica.”
“What?” It came out in a squeak, a small puff of air leaked through her lips.
“I don’t know,” he said, and the look of confusion on his face was completely adorable.
Veronica mentally chastised herself for even thinking the words Logan and adorable in the same sentence.
“It’s just…” Logan trailed off, pulling out into the parking lot. “You seem different, I guess.”
Veronica could feel the blood flood her cheeks, and she clamped down on her lip, knowing that she was about to spit out the whole truth.
She told Logan everything lately. Her mouth didn’t seem to understand that this was most definitely not the time.
“I had a dream about you,” she blurted. Her cheeks turned a whole new shade of red, and she trained her eyes on the floor.
“You had a dream about me?” Her face flushed prettily as he glanced at her. “What kind of dream?”
“Logan…” She groaned his name, turning her face away in mortification. A slow smile spread across his face.
“Veronica Mars!” Logan faux gasped, his palm rising to cover his lips. “Did you have a naughty dream about me?”
“Not funny, Logan,” Veronica deadpanned. She propped her elbow on the door, turning to face out the window. “God, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s going to be all awkward now.” She muttered something unflattering under her breath, but Logan couldn’t make out the words.
Glancing across the center consol, Logan tried to suppress his own smile. The fact that pure, innocent Veronica was having blush-worthy dreams about him was doing all kinds of wonders for his ego. He had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate if he told her so, though. “It’ll only be awkward if you let it,” he reassured her. “It’s not a big deal, Veronica. You’ve been spending a lot of time with me. It’s nothing; just let it go.” And he kind of hated that he could write it all off that easily.
He wanted it to mean something. Which is probably why he felt the need to add, “Your subconscious just wants me naked.”
“Oh, god.”
Then he did laugh, glancing at her again. “Relax, Veronica. Don’t worry about it.”
“Lilly’s going to hate me.”
Logan instantly felt all of his muscles tense. “Don’t tell her.”
Veronica’s eyes widened, and her whole body swiveled toward Logan. “And what about you? What are you going to say?”
Logan pulled into the parking lot, taking his usual space near the building. When he turned to Veronica, her eyes were intent on him, and he could read faint glimmers of fear and guilt on her face. In that moment, he hated Lilly for her hold on Veronica, for the fierce loyalty she inspired from this petite blonde.
“I won’t say a word,” he promised. His hand, moving without consulting him, brushed a strand of Veronica’s long hair across her shoulder. His finger trailed down her arm, lingering against her wrist. “It’s none of her business.”
Veronica’s smile was small but genuine. “Thank you, Logan.” Then she slid out of the car and stepped into the courtyard. Her hand had brushed his, but the touch was so soft he wondered if she’d meant to do it at all.
. . .
With Lilly, the difference between the silent treatment and BFF spa treatments was usually a matter of days.
That, or she never spoke to the person again.
Veronica wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting when she walked to her locker and found Lilly propped up beside it, but she was glad that she had slipped away from Logan in the parking lot. She didn’t want to have to choose between him and Lilly. She wouldn’t.
But being around the two of them together was becoming more and more of a problem.
“Veronica, you’re coming out with me tonight.”
Apparently they were friends again.
“Where?”
“Dinner,” Lilly answered. “With Weevil. And Duncan.”
Veronica was halfway through her locker combination, and her fingers stilled. “Excuse me?”
“It’s not a double date or anything,” Lilly told her. “Because, god, I know how you’d freak out about that. But have you ever even spoken to my boyfriend, Veronica? No. What kind of friend does that make you?” Lilly paused for the briefest of moments before answering her own question. “A shitty one. And with how much time you’ve been spending with my ex, I kind of think you should earn some best friend points, okay?” Veronica opened her mouth to object, but Lilly cut her off. “Yeah, yeah, he’s not my ex; he’s your friend, blah, blah, blah. You’ve said all this, Veronica. You’ve also been avoiding me for weeks.” She waved her hand in the air to brush off Veronica’s retort. “Or you haven’t been. Whatever. But I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“Lilly,” Veronica cut in. “Fine. Where should I meet you?”
“I’ll pick you up. Be ready at seven.”
“But - ”
“I’ve got to go tell Duncan. I’ll see you tonight.”
Lilly was gone before Veronica could say anything else.
. . .
“Yeah, that’s going to suck.” Wallace used one of the tongue depressors to poke at the cloudy liquid on the Bunsen burner. “What the hell are we supposed to be looking for here, anyway?”
“Wallace, you have a knack for the understatement.” Veronica pushed his hand away, snagging the tongue depressor. She stirred the saltwater solution, carefully keeping the un-gloved part of her hand clear of the steam. “And we’re just letting it evaporate. We’re not looking for anything. You should really look up from that magazine you hide in your book every once in a while.”
“The playbook isn’t a magazine, Veronica,” Wallace said. “And we’ve been over you calling it that. I don’t call the New Testament a ‘magazine’.”
“No, you just use it as a paperweight.”
“You know, I hope Logan tells them to make your wand into a vibrator.” He smirked at Veronica, reaching around her to grab the playbook from his bag. “It’s what you’d deserve.”
. . .
“I got the results,” Lilly whispered behind her copy of Cosmo. The study hall was fairly empty, and no one sat next to Lilly unless she asked them to. There were three empty chairs in between her and Duncan and the nearest student.
“What did they say?” The trepidation in his voice brought out an uncommon surge of big sisterly emotion in Lilly, and she glanced at him behind the pages. She smiled softly, shrugging before he could get the wrong idea.
“I didn’t open it,” she told him. “It’s not like anything changes for me either way. You should be the one to open it. I left it in my room.”
“Is this why you’re making me go to the dinner tonight?”
“Have you spoken to my boyfriend?”
“Not since he stole my Nikes in sixth grade. And then it wasn’t so much talking as bleeding.”
Lilly shook her head, turning back to the magazine. “Then this dinner has nothing to do with Veronica. It could have something to do with you proving that you didn’t only want to hang out with me when I was dating your best friend, you ass.”
“Lilly…” Duncan sighed. She turned to him, and he didn’t know what to say again. “It was different before,” he finished lamely.
“Well, pretend like you don’t think I’m the scum of the earth, because occasionally it’s kind of nice to have you around. You know, like, when Mom goes postal on me. In case you haven’t noticed, she’s kind of gone into overdrive since you’ve been in hibernation.”
“I told you I’d come, Lilly. Quit the guilt trip. I’m sorry.”
She was silent for a moment, and Duncan thought the conversation was over until he heard her speak again. “Don’t tell Veronica tonight,” she whispered, and her face was completely serious. “Either way, just don’t tell her tonight.”
“But - ”
“Just wait until Halloween. Tonight, you can just… show her you’re still interested.” Lilly turned back to her magazine, her voice dropping lower. “She’s been avoiding me, too, Duncan. She’s still my best friend, and all we’ve done since you broke up is fight.”
. . .
“You’re ditching me for Lilly?” Logan asked, pulling up in front of Veronica house. “That’s a low blow, Mars.”
“Yeah, because it’s not like I haven’t been ditching Lilly for you for weeks,” Veronica tossed back, gathering her things from the back of the car. “And can’t you tell how thrilled I am about this dinner, Logan?” She gestured to her less-than-amused expression, and then reached back into the backseat.
“Yeah,” Logan said. “I know how you generally look like you’re eating glass when you’re really excited.”
“You should probably work on your compliments before you throw yourself back into the dating world, Echolls.”
“Throw myself back?” Logan parroted. “What makes you think I’m not already back?”
“Well, I haven’t seen the usual batch of soon-to-be hookers swarming from your house lately.”
“I have to keep hiding them in the closets, because you keep showing up unexpectedly,” Logan explained. “Besides, Mars, you know you’re the only one I’ll let spend the night.”
“Aw,” Veronica deadpanned. “And I won’t let you in my pants. That must be hard for you.”
“But you want me in your pants.” He really couldn’t resist saying it, and the flush that fell over her face was so adorable that he didn’t really feel very guilty about it.
“Logan, you said that you wouldn’t say anything about it.”
“To Lilly,” he reminded her, still smiling. “I have to be able to tease you about it.”
“You’re a horrible friend,” she told him, opening her door. “I just think you should realize that.”
“So you must just be sticking around for my body,” Logan teased. “I feel like such a piece of meat.” She rolled her eyes, turning to leave, when he caught her wrist. “If anything goes wrong tonight, you can call me. You know that, right? I’ll come get you wherever.”
Veronica smiled. “Thanks, Logan. I’ll keep that in mind. I think it’ll be okay, though.”
“I’m here for you, Mars. Later you can give me a little recap of that dream of yours as a thank you.”
“Hold your breath on that.” She pulled her wrist out of his hand and slugged him in the shoulder, then walked up the front path.
. . .
“Mom?” Veronica called, glancing around the living room. She jogged up the stairs, stopping when she finally caught sight of her mother, lying on her parents’ bed. Her father was sitting on a chair in the corner, and he looked like he might’ve been crying.
“She’s alright, Veronica,” her dad assured her. “She’s just sleeping.”
“What’s wrong, Dad?” She was standing in the doorway, and she looked ready to flee at the slightest sign.
“It’s… there’s just something that your mother and I need to talk about, Veronica.” He ran a hand over his balding scalp, looking tired and much older than he was. “Do you have plans tonight, sweetheart? Maybe you and I can go and get dinner. I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“I have plans with Lilly,” she said softly. Instantly, she felt guilty, because she hadn’t seen her father in days, other than a for a few moments here and there. Still, though, the look on his face made her want to delay this conversation longer and longer.
She didn’t want to know what he wanted to tell her.
“Okay, sweetheart,” he told her, but she could tell he was disappointed that she hadn’t offered to cancel. “Have a good time.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Her smile was tight as she turned and locked herself in her room.
. . .
“This is it?” Duncan asked, fingering the simple white envelope.
“Yeah. What were you expecting? It just has to say yes or no.” Lilly rolled her eyes, continuing to skim through her closet. She pulled out a couple of dresses and threw them on her bed. “Open it,” she said when she saw that Duncan was still staring at the envelope. “Unless you plan on using your x-ray vision to read it.”
“What do you care?” Duncan asked. “I thought it didn’t matter to you.”
Lilly’s face was a mask of irritation when she snatched the letter from Duncan’s hand. “Of course it matters to me, Donut. Just because I won’t have to cut Veronica out of my life doesn’t mean that I don’t care whether or not she’s our sister.”
“You’ve been kind of a bitch to her.”
“She’s been kind of a bitch to me, too.” Lilly ran her finger along the seam of the envelope, ripping it open. “Are you saying I should kiss Veronica’s ass? Because that’s not who I am, and you know that as well as she does. Get over yourself, Duncan. You’re not even her boyfriend again. Yet.”
“Lilly, open the damn letter.” She unfolded the crisp white paper deliberately slowly, and as she read over the small print, she let emotions play across her face dramatically. “What the hell does it say, Lilly?” Duncan demanded after a long pause.
“It says that Mom’s a dirty liar,” Lilly told him. “Veronica is not our sister.”