(no subject)
some nights are red,
when i want my eyes blue again....
the only thing getting me through this week is limbeck.
if i'm not listening to them then i can't breathe.
once again, my friends leave and i'm insanely lonely.
but its not just lonely for them,
its for my family,
and just a true friend to sit around and do nothing with.
marisa claims she's visiting this weekend.
i'm not holding my breath.
i spent all of saturday with patrick and all sunday alone.
patrick is probably the best guy i know.
i called my mom for mothers day and all she wanted to talk about is how much she worries about me.
she says she hates that i'm alone all the time.
i lied and told her that i'm not always alone. it just sounds better than the truth.
sarah asked me the hardest question i've ever had to answer.
and i lied to her.
it was a simple yes/no and i couldn't make up my mind.
i used to be so sure the answer was no
but when she asked, and i thought about it, it was yes.
it will probably be yes for a while.
i didn't want to lie, but she needed to hear the lie more than the truth.
the more i trust people the more i get hurt.
do i need to completely guard my heart and put up walls for everyone?
maybe you should take a step back and look at what you're doing to me.
do you realize that you're hurting me?
and you are not supposed to be the one that hurts me.
i just really need to get out of here and away from you.
when i want my eyes blue again....
the only thing getting me through this week is limbeck.
if i'm not listening to them then i can't breathe.
once again, my friends leave and i'm insanely lonely.
but its not just lonely for them,
its for my family,
and just a true friend to sit around and do nothing with.
marisa claims she's visiting this weekend.
i'm not holding my breath.
i spent all of saturday with patrick and all sunday alone.
patrick is probably the best guy i know.
i called my mom for mothers day and all she wanted to talk about is how much she worries about me.
she says she hates that i'm alone all the time.
i lied and told her that i'm not always alone. it just sounds better than the truth.
sarah asked me the hardest question i've ever had to answer.
and i lied to her.
it was a simple yes/no and i couldn't make up my mind.
i used to be so sure the answer was no
but when she asked, and i thought about it, it was yes.
it will probably be yes for a while.
i didn't want to lie, but she needed to hear the lie more than the truth.
the more i trust people the more i get hurt.
do i need to completely guard my heart and put up walls for everyone?
maybe you should take a step back and look at what you're doing to me.
do you realize that you're hurting me?
and you are not supposed to be the one that hurts me.
i just really need to get out of here and away from you.