anger management
I guess I should see someone about my anger issues. I know, what anger issues? Then again, if I can't even focus on doing my homework, I probably should vent a little.
I'm always a laid-back, mellow kind of guy...but I have a bad habit of bottling up my emotions and not really expressing any extreme of anger or happiness, even though I frequently experience wild mood swings over the slightest of things.
Take yesterday for example and my Residence Hall Association work as the Information Technology Committee chair. In effect, I'm the webmaster and consulting guy, even though I'm still learning the ropes of the high-end web languages and trying to balance my classes.
Maybe a week ago, I got tasked to do a survey about quiet hours that we're sending out to all of the residents on campus. Based on my predecessor's work with coding mySQL and PHP, I was able to get a form out quickly. Everyone was happy. And then the requirements changed. I couldn't really do what they wanted with the system as it was, so I offered a compromise. The chair of the committee on quiet hours added that he wanted such and such extra stuff, and that much I was able to address, even if it took me an extra hour of my precious weekend last week...
And then because I missed the exec meeting yesterday (because I had to help my soccer team reach the finals of our intramural tournament), I also missed the part where I was taken off the project and I only found out about it by reading the minutes! WTF?! I'd been kicked off the project and replaced by...of all people, my predecessor, who is my predecessor because he graduated last semester.
While I mind being taken off a project I spent so much time (four or five hours of my free time) on, the only thing I mind even more is not even being informed of it directly. Is it so hard to give me a reason why? I mean, I understand that I'm not the most savvy guy with what the president of RHA wants in whatever he wants, but I'm trying to learn, dammit. It's not like I have all the time in the world to put into developing their stupid goddamn website. I have my own personal goddamn problems. (Thanks for creating another one, I might add.) I'm not really that mad. Miffed, sure. I'm surprised. Mad is a little of an exaggeration, but it will get there the longer I go without an explanation as to why I wasn't told.
It happened so fluidly, my detasking. Now public exec communication emails are referring to the new survey team for contact...So rather than ask said people why I was detasked on email, I'm going for a direct confrontation to ease my soul, even if it results in me losing it in front of someone. I mean, people can ignore emails, but you can't ignore me if I'm standing in the office and not leaving until I get an answer...
Better yet, I just logged on to the server and saw the new survey. It very much resembles what I did, except for a few changes here and there. I guess they don't have the guts to tell me I don't know enough to do the job.
It's always this way with me...I'll just hold it in until either it spills out with the force of an atom bomb, or until I force it down my throat and forget it or if I bookmark it for later as a justification for stiffing someone in the future. Very rarely do I confront someone. I guess today will be a good start.
I'm always a laid-back, mellow kind of guy...but I have a bad habit of bottling up my emotions and not really expressing any extreme of anger or happiness, even though I frequently experience wild mood swings over the slightest of things.
Take yesterday for example and my Residence Hall Association work as the Information Technology Committee chair. In effect, I'm the webmaster and consulting guy, even though I'm still learning the ropes of the high-end web languages and trying to balance my classes.
Maybe a week ago, I got tasked to do a survey about quiet hours that we're sending out to all of the residents on campus. Based on my predecessor's work with coding mySQL and PHP, I was able to get a form out quickly. Everyone was happy. And then the requirements changed. I couldn't really do what they wanted with the system as it was, so I offered a compromise. The chair of the committee on quiet hours added that he wanted such and such extra stuff, and that much I was able to address, even if it took me an extra hour of my precious weekend last week...
And then because I missed the exec meeting yesterday (because I had to help my soccer team reach the finals of our intramural tournament), I also missed the part where I was taken off the project and I only found out about it by reading the minutes! WTF?! I'd been kicked off the project and replaced by...of all people, my predecessor, who is my predecessor because he graduated last semester.
While I mind being taken off a project I spent so much time (four or five hours of my free time) on, the only thing I mind even more is not even being informed of it directly. Is it so hard to give me a reason why? I mean, I understand that I'm not the most savvy guy with what the president of RHA wants in whatever he wants, but I'm trying to learn, dammit. It's not like I have all the time in the world to put into developing their stupid goddamn website. I have my own personal goddamn problems. (Thanks for creating another one, I might add.) I'm not really that mad. Miffed, sure. I'm surprised. Mad is a little of an exaggeration, but it will get there the longer I go without an explanation as to why I wasn't told.
It happened so fluidly, my detasking. Now public exec communication emails are referring to the new survey team for contact...So rather than ask said people why I was detasked on email, I'm going for a direct confrontation to ease my soul, even if it results in me losing it in front of someone. I mean, people can ignore emails, but you can't ignore me if I'm standing in the office and not leaving until I get an answer...
Better yet, I just logged on to the server and saw the new survey. It very much resembles what I did, except for a few changes here and there. I guess they don't have the guts to tell me I don't know enough to do the job.
It's always this way with me...I'll just hold it in until either it spills out with the force of an atom bomb, or until I force it down my throat and forget it or if I bookmark it for later as a justification for stiffing someone in the future. Very rarely do I confront someone. I guess today will be a good start.