Travel On
I really miss being on the road right now and I've just realized I fucked up a little bit this winter, but I'll get to that in a moment. It's not to be said that I'm unhappy because when I think about it, it's been quite a while since I could say I was, I am however uncomfortable. It doesn't feel natural to me anymore to be in The City, or anywhere right now, paying rent and tied down by landlords/relationships/employers/responsibilities that I shouldn't be responsible for in the first place. I'm young and in love with life, with freedom. There is far too much to experience out there. So much trouble to get into, so many best friends to meet. Lovers to love, trees to climb, beaches to find, paths to walk. The pure passion&courage which has filled my heart and soul over time is too much to ignore or suppress. It spills out into my dreams more often now, and not only at night.
I miss the new people to be met every day. Everyone having so much to say and teach, while also wanting to learn and listen. Meeting people like me. Never having money and never fucking worrying. I want to sleep on the beach, write poems in sharpie on street-side benches. The sound of junkers shifting ever-so-slightly, clunking back and forth, back and forth. Exploring abandoned buildings and sleeping on rooftops under starry nights. Trying to count them all while she plays harmonica, and laughing when we loose our place for the 3rd time. Bonfires in the forrest, pretending we're wolves. Howling madly at the moon, and eating whatever was managed to be stolen that day. 40oz to get us where we need to go. Handstands on the side of the road as he plays folk music we can sing along to. Pan-handling $8 to replace the broken strings. Parting ways but knowing you wont be alone for long. Punk shows and free concerts. Going crazy waiting those 8 hours on the on-ramp, screaming at the empty cars, then laughing for letting them win. Running from the cops. Breaking your watch in the first few days and never knowing what time it is, and never needing to anyway.
Foolishly I spent the whole season in The City, not working. I put too much faith in a few ideas, when, really I should have learned from the past. Had I worked during the winter I could have been free to go in April already, fuck. Obviously debts owed have not stopped me yet, but believe it or not it IS important to me to give back what others have so selflessly given to me. I start a new full-time job in two days. I can't say for sure when, but sometime after I pay back my debts I will leave again. I don't hate The City by any means, but my life too easily turns stagnant here. Not opposed to visiting, but I really don't want to come back for too long a period of time. This City has raised me for the better part of a decade, it's now time to branch out and learn from other scene's.
So here's to the dreams that will drive me forward! Let them be a reminder of the days to come. We will go longer and farther than we ever have.
passion&courage
Quilliam