It rubs the lotion on its skin...

[velvetalchemist]

The BF and I hit the beach last wednesday. I sunscreened up to avoid a debacle like the renfest sunburn from two years ago. BF eschewed sunscreen to even himself out from his farmer's tan. BF is part Native American and turns this lovely reddish-brown in the summer. Anyway, he overdid it. Later that night he was suffering from sun poisoning, bright red and shivering. I put room-temperature aloe gel on him and it made his muscles cramp up and go shocky. Fast forward a few days and dammit you guys would have been in awe had I thought to take pictures. The blisters! Oh my gawd, they weren't huge and grotesque, but from the nape of his neck down to the cleft of his ass, from his shoulders to his nipples... his shirt was sticking to him where they popped, and then the shirts dried out in crunchy patches of dried fluid... but wait, there's more. Then he started to peel. Everywhere he went he lost flakes of skin, quarter-sized pieces fluttering from beneath his shirt... but it gets worse. The skin on his back and shoulders started to peel, and it's like these great huge thick chunks of calloused skin that don't break off but hang out until it's ALL detached... all crunchy and distracting and, I dunno, I imagine this is what an improperly-wrapped mummy looks like after a bit... after about three days of this he fiiiiinally let me cut the excess off with embroidery scissors. Ugh, skin EVERYWHERE. I spent this morning shaking out the bedding, our clothes, the couch cover, the bathmat, the towels, and I vacuumed for an hour sucking up all these epidermic leavings. It was so disgusting, but utterly fascinating. He looked like a total leper... he had this pile of skin under his computer chair... if only he could have shed in one big piece, like a snake. Thank gawd he's down to the last of the hard crunchies on his shoulders/chest, and it's just soft bits on his sides... and thank gawd it didn't damage any tattoos... And this isn't the worst he's done, he tells me. Something about being on leave in NC and burning himself purple swimming in the ocean and then doing endless pushups the next morning as so not to be charged with "damage of government property" or something... geesh. Anyway, now the skin on his upper back is baby-soft and tender, still pretty red, but he's healing.

As for myself I only had about a square foot of my upper back, above my bra band but further out than where my straps sit. Red, itchy, blistery, peely... but nowhere NEAR as horrifying/impressive as the BF.

Seriously kicking myself for not getting a picture. XD