When will this circle break
I am so sick of being in the same circle all the time and doing the same thing over and over and over again. I am sick of going through this loop. Yesterday was Daniel's birthday, and I called him to wish him a happy birthday, and well he ended up coming to pick me up and we spent all day together. The whole day was great, until he dropped me off this morning. We went to his house, went to the mall, ate dinner with his parents, and then went to reggies with a bunch of people. They were all pretty fun to be around. Well on the way home.. we were listening to this cd that has a "history" I guess you could say and well he kept playing that some "I wanna know" by Joe. And he was singing it, and then he told me that he wanted to give things a try again and whatnot. Well that is really not what I wanted to hear at this point. It was totally unexpected. We sat in my driveway for like 45 minutes just talking about it. I was crying cause I mean, that was what I wanted for a while, and no I have this whole new life and I dont want to screw up. Well we were supposed to get together today and talk about all of this. Well I never heard from him and I am just assuming that he was just screwing with me and all, and it really hurts in a way. I am so tired of people screwing with my emotions and telling me one thing and then it end up being another. I am tired of being fucked with. I just feel so sick to my stomach. I asked my mom to put me on medications for depression and they wont. I dont want to have temporary highs and very deep lows all the time, its not healthy. My mom asked me today if me and him had sex, and she asked me if we did yesterday and it sucks that she would assume that. I dont know. I am just sick of all of this. I just want to crawl in a hole. I cannot tell you how many times something like this has happened. That is really enough for now, I have a lot more to say, but I am getting upset, and am just ready to go to bed.