Saturday in the Park, with Issues (rp for Lindsey)
It's odd. Darla doesn't believe she has any particular attachment to Boston, or indeed other cities; if you live long enough, they all become places to leave, some more enjoyable than others, true, but she hasn't thought of any place as "home" since centuries
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Looking at Lindsey and taking in what he tells her about his parents, she remembers something and stops walking. Her hand on his briefly lets go and touches his cheek, very lightly.
"I could have been your mother, you know."
She lets go and starts walking again.
"I thought about it. In the cellar."
Which touches on another reason why she's wondering about her share in Kara's state of heart and mind now. In the end, she hadn't sired Lindsey, for a multitude of reasons; some of those reasons should have applied to adopting Kara as well, and yet they hadn't seemed to.
(It doesn't occur to her that given the nature of their relationship, the word "mother" would be the last thing Lindsey would call her. He watched her with Drusilla; he must have figured out the way vampires define family relationships.)
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He stopped as Darla touched his cheek, his hand leaning into it just slightly before she pulled it away. His first thought would be that she was talking about her age in comparisson to his, and how he could have been offspring of hers if she had never been changed.
But when she mentioned the wine cellar, he realized what she meant. As he walked beside her, he stuck his hands into his pockets for warmth. "I know. And back then, I probably would not have complained. If it meant I got to be with you for eternity, that alone would have made me willing to die for it."
There was complete honesty in his voice. "I think, that's why I wasn't afraid there... I think that in some way, I was almost hoping you would, so that I could be with you." He stiffened a bit. "But you knew who you really wanted, and I wasn't him."
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"No, you weren't. But for what it's worth, you were the first mortal in four hundred years I saw as something other than game material or dinner."
Which is as close to a declaration of affection as Darla gets, unless you're Kara and Connor, and even then she doesn't use the word "love" very often. She and Angel certainly never used it for each other, not then, not now. Of course, given that for Darla, she just gave Lindsey a downright mushy reply, another mood swing is due.
"So much for past intentions, for here you are, immortal anyway, and I am back to daily cellular decay," she continues, wrily. "You'll probably be able to put flowers on my grave...again... so it's just as well you can do it without feeling orphaned."
They have arrived at the small street fair, and the first thing she spots is a booth with artificial flowers. The corners of her mouth curve, and she can't resist.
"Rosemary," she says, handing it to Lindsey with a smile. "For rememberance."
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Angel had once told Lindsey that he didn't know Darla. And it's true. In the end, he hadn't know her completely. Lindsey doubted he ever would. But he knew enough, and that was all he needed.
"Have you ever wondered why you were brought back, Darla? This time. I mean, why after all you've done, would someone want to bring you back and not present an agenda before you?"
He might have been asking questions he had been wondering about himself as well, but seeing that Darla was in the same metaphoric boat, perhaps she could give him some insight.
He raised an eyebrow at the flowers. "Playing Orphelia now?"
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It's a good thing she paid for those poor artificial flowers, since, she proceeds to crumble them between her fingers. "All the perfumes of Arabia cannot wipe clean this little hand," she says, and she might be jesting, or she might be serious. She looks up at Lindsey.
"Yes, I did wonder. I wasn't joking at the museum, you know. I truly don't know whether it was a whim of the Powers, or a sense of obligation after what happened with Jasmine, or an after effect of Angel signing his Shanshu away. I'm just assuming that if was anyone else, they would have stepped up and taken credit by now. In fact, even if it wasn't someone else, I'm surprised nobody did that. It's what I'd have done. Anything for an advantage in case you need to unsettle someone, even if it isn't true."
As they move on to the next booth, she adds: "For now, I've settled for thinking of myself as a random bit of chaos in the great scheme of things, Lindsey. But then there
was a star danced, and under that was I born. How about that?"
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"Whatever it was that brought you back, I'm grateful."
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"How grateful?" she asks playfully.
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"Why haven't you kissed me? - You've been dying for it, haven't you?"
"I didn't know if you wanted me to."
"Why should that matter? - Do you think I ever hesitated when I wanted something? Life's too short. Believe me, I know..."
Darla had taught him more than he would ever admit, things that he took to heart and used to help shape himself after leaving Wolfram and Hart.
"I can't imagine the world without you in it."
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She turns around, the necklace quickly warming against her skin.
"Then you must have lived without imagination for years," she says. "Let's see what we can do to restore it."
She puts her arms around him and kisses him thoroughly. For a couple of reasons, but most of all because she feels like it, and she wants to. He doesn't taste so differently from his old self, but there is a difference; gained confidence, even more anger and loss since the last time, and yes, the bitterness of death and resurrection, which she knows just too well.
Then she lets go and whispers in his ear: "And some things should be left to imagination."
At this point, it's actually not so much the old calculation any more, the conviction that if she ever did have sex with Lindsey, she'd lose her hold on him; he can be a good ally, but she doesn't, at this point, need him. And it would be a good distraction from her sense of helplessness and failure regarding Kara right now. But she has just made the unexpected and unwelcome discovery that she has some consideration for his feelings, and it would be more to him than that. She will never be able to forget the way it felt when Angel threw her out after the night that produced Connor, and it's a bit disturbing to discover that Darla, who does not think of herself as a kind woman nor would wish to be one, does not want anyone to go through this particular kind of pain, especially not someone she actually... cares about?
This is a bit more than she intended to find out.
"So," says the vendor, "is one of you gonna pay for that necklace, huh?"
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But he could just have this moment, and store it away in his mind with the other moments that he had shared with her. Kisses from Darla were rare, and they always left him reeling.
This one was no exception. It was gentle to the point where she was human and didn't have the added strength to push him back a few steps. But there was still power there, the power that taunted him, controlled him, and kept him wanting more of her.
The kiss only confirmed what he already knew: no matter what woman came into his life, Darla would always have some control over him.
As she whispered in his ear, he chuckled deep in his throat. "Oh trust me, darlin', I have a lot of imagination in that regards."
He then pulled back and rolled his eyes at the vendor. You would think he would have better timing than interrupting an obvious moment between them. "It's my gift to you," he told Darla, reaching into his coat for his wallet. As his fingers racked along his chest, he winced, feeling the foreign seedling in his chest react to his touch by digging deeper. But he covered it quickly by clearing his throat and looking at the man as asking for the price before handing over that amount in cash.
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"You're a generous man," she says, and they continue to stroll between the booths. The next one has a lot of plastic action figures, which normally wouldn't be worth a second glance to her, but Darla suddenly remembers Kara making her watch something called The Simpsons with her as soon as Darla had a DVD player in her possession. She also sees a particular figure among the set, and can't resist. Being silly is allowed when one feels whimsical.
"Allow me to reciprocate," she says to Lindsey, and after buying a figure for Kara, she hands over one to Lindsey. His very own Action!Lawyer figure:
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He tucked the figure into his pant pocket, not wanting to rish his jacket one again, and then held his arm out for Darla.
"How are Connor and Kara doing? They both have been pretty quiet online lately."
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"You probably guessed from her five facts entry, but Kara has been through another break-up. It's hard on her, and we're all trying to make it easier."
Some of us via arranging unpleasant fates for Mr. Luthor, who has already been through the first series of nightmares, but this is something Kara won't find out about.
"Trust me, terrorizing cities was easier than being effectual in helping a teenager. As for Connor..."
...here she doesn't actually have to edit, because her son did not tell her or anyone else about Harry's new family situation. Nor do she and Angel know he knows about Kara's suicide attempt, because he found out via Bruce Wayne (who had it from Cordelia), of all the people.
"...it's college business, I assume. He has a lot of catching up to do after what happened last year, and he actually likes to study."
She sighs. Which isn't faked, because...
"I don't know whether Eve or anyone else told you. He was arrested for the murder of the Rileys, the family he remembers having courtesy of your lawfirm and Angel's deal."
And they only got him out through Lex Luthor, who is in a position to reverse this at any time. See why Darla can't just let Angel kill Lex but has to be sneaky about revenge? A former mass murderer's life is not an easy one, if she has children.
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Lindsey remembered not too fondly the little self destructive attitude he had fallen into when Darla had left him. Not the best period of his life, one he'd rather forget, except that there was always a physical reminder of events from that time right in the palm of his hand...
Said hand being that reminder.
"Eve and I haven't really talked much since Kara's party... and honestly, we didn't talk much before then either. So no, she hasn't told me. I'm assuming that Connor is innocent of these charges. He seems to be a good kid. A bit too much like his father for my tastes, but his heart is in the right place."
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(That, and the fact Angel might just try to kill Lindsey again otherwise, and not in a fun way.)
"I thought lawyers weren't supposed to ask the innocence question?" she says lightly, then gets very serious indeed. "As a matter of fact, no, he didn't kill them. He still feels guilty of their death, though. Being his father's son, he had the idea that the ideal way to protect them would be by removing their artificial memories of him. Something went wrong with the dissolving spell, and they died instead. Sometimes... sometimes I think he's looking for a way to punish himself for that ever since."
He certainly did when she talked to him while he was in prison, and she had to strike quickly and make him angry at her to get him out of this state. There is a difference in the way Darla and Angel interact with Connor as opposed to Kara, and it's not about preference or blood connection. They can't bring themselves to use what people these days called "tough love" with Kara, who has never seen their darker sides. Connor, raised by Daniel Holtz, had known about those sides before ever meeting them, and as bitter as it is to them, they use this at times.
"Speaking of hearts in the right places, though," she says, and regards Lindsey intently, "what do you have on yours?"
Because considering she opened up to him about her concerns, in an edited version or not, she thinks he can do this about whatever caused him to flinch earlier on and then made him put the figure in his pocket in order not to touch his breast again.
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As he listened to Connor's story, he felt his jaw set. He knew a thing or two about having artificial memories, about the guilt that you have for them afterwards. For a long time after Angel had pulled him back from the holding dimension, he had woken up wondering where his wife and son were, only to have the memories slamming back into him that they had not been real, and to feel this sense of loss each time.
He had a perfect life once too. Losing it was just another torture he had survived. And Connor had tried to protect the ones that weren't really even his to protect, and failed them. Tortures people shouldn't have to bear inside...
His mind drifted back into the conversation at Darla's question, and he licked his lips in confusion. He didn't know what she was really asking, instead thinking that in relation to Connor's story, it was the metaphoric heart she was refering to. "At this point, there's not much. Just trying to get used to being back amoung everyone again."
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