Image Challenge 06 - How To Be Involved In Dastardly Corporate Happenings Without Really Trying
Title: How To Be Involved In Dastardly Corporate Happenings Without Really Trying
Author: luchia13
Characters/Pairing: ...everyone? Canon pairings, and a hint of DG/Raw
Rating: PG
Summary: O.Z Industries is a morally ambiguous company with very interesting happenings that Cain really doesn't care about, let alone notice. He's an awesome rent-a-cop like that.
Warning: Mockery, offscreen murder and torture, completely random AU, staples.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tin Man!
Word Count: 811
A/N: Just a bit of random, stupid fun. ♥
Cain’s new job is to watch people staple papers, and make sure nobody tries to kill them in the process. It’s not even exciting papers, as far as he can tell. There’s nothing illegal about them, and from what he’s overheard, they’re instruction manuals for the company’s new gizmo, which Ambrose said is nothing but a fancy new video camera. But if they want a security guard, they’ll have a security guard.
He sits in a desk near the front door to the office, near the nice young secretary that he’s starting to think should meet his son since she’d be a great daughter-in-law, Adora’s already hinting she’d like grandkids, and she and Jeb might bond over their constant indignation with the world. DG used to be a waitress, and DG goes to a community college part-time, and DG draws hilarious caricatures of all the people that come in and give her attitude. She’s also the building’s go-to printer repair woman, since apparently the resident inventing genius isn’t as trustworthy as he used to be.
His friend Ambrose seems to really hate the guy. Cain’s never even seen the company’s supposed bread-winner, but according to Ambrose he had a nervous breakdown a few years ago and you can’t trust the man with a spoon, let alone a box cutter. DG snickers a lot whenever Ambrose starts rambling about the vices of the head engineer, but she also has a crush on the half-hippie, half-emo, all-natural gardener named Raw that seems to pay very special attention to the fichus on her desk, so Cain isn’t sure how much trust he puts in her sense of humor. But when Ambrose isn’t complaining about his rival (or maybe boss) they get along great and have gone out bowling a few times, although they keep flirting with the idea of playing laser tag together.
It’s an easy enough job, since nobody seems to have a deep grudge against O.Z. Industries or a fiendish plot to steal all the staples so their job is postponed for years, so Cain spends a lot of time people-watching. He isn’t big on gossip, but he ends up knowing everything anyway, like that the boss, this knock-out woman named Azkadellia that Cain can only describe as severe, tried to start a corporate takeover when she was thirteen just because the family’s apparently sadistic babysitter convinced her to, and that there was some rumored hidden research facility where they sucked out your mind and soul just to see what makes you tick, but Cain doesn’t believe a word of it. The people make video cameras, for God’s sake. Illicit biological research doesn’t exactly seem the company’s style. Plus there’s a rumor that DG is Azkadellia’s little sister rediscovered after she was lost at birth and that their mother’s in prison for trying to stage a rebellion against the mayor, so Cain barely trusts the office workers when they tell him it’s someone’s birthday, let alone that his life’s in danger. What would he be in danger from? A wayward staple?
The only suspicious thing he’s seen about the entire company is that Cain got his job after the previous security guard, a man named Lonot, went missing and is presumed dead. The night security guard, Zero, doesn’t seem like he wants to talk about it, and Cain doesn’t pry because ‘rent-a-cop’ or not, there’s risks in the job and nobody likes to think about what could happen. Cain was there in time for the memorial chocolate cake that got passed around the office, though, so not all was lost. Adora sent Lonot’s widow a fruit basket picked from the trees in their backyard, and when the widow didn’t even say thank you, Cain more or less ignores the entire situation aside from the occasional person who came in looking nervous and shifty and asking for Lonot, because it’s never fun to tell people someone they know is dead.
Cain only has the job for seven months, since when he tries to come into work one Monday he finds out the entire building caught fire a few hours ago and the blaze is going strong. Ambrose and DG and even Raw are sitting outside the building watching it burn. Even though it’s six thirty in the morning, he takes them all to a bar, since they look like they need it and he’s pretty sure DG turned 21 a couple months ago. They sit, and drink, and eat, and chat, and it cheers DG and Raw up enough that Cain doesn’t object when they leave. Ambrose is still moping though, so Cain pats him on the back. “At least you don’t have to deal with the head inventor over there anymore, right?”
“Right,” Ambrose says a little weakly, and after a couple hours of eating junk food they go play laser tag.
Author: luchia13
Characters/Pairing: ...everyone? Canon pairings, and a hint of DG/Raw
Rating: PG
Summary: O.Z Industries is a morally ambiguous company with very interesting happenings that Cain really doesn't care about, let alone notice. He's an awesome rent-a-cop like that.
Warning: Mockery, offscreen murder and torture, completely random AU, staples.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tin Man!
Word Count: 811
A/N: Just a bit of random, stupid fun. ♥
Cain’s new job is to watch people staple papers, and make sure nobody tries to kill them in the process. It’s not even exciting papers, as far as he can tell. There’s nothing illegal about them, and from what he’s overheard, they’re instruction manuals for the company’s new gizmo, which Ambrose said is nothing but a fancy new video camera. But if they want a security guard, they’ll have a security guard.
He sits in a desk near the front door to the office, near the nice young secretary that he’s starting to think should meet his son since she’d be a great daughter-in-law, Adora’s already hinting she’d like grandkids, and she and Jeb might bond over their constant indignation with the world. DG used to be a waitress, and DG goes to a community college part-time, and DG draws hilarious caricatures of all the people that come in and give her attitude. She’s also the building’s go-to printer repair woman, since apparently the resident inventing genius isn’t as trustworthy as he used to be.
His friend Ambrose seems to really hate the guy. Cain’s never even seen the company’s supposed bread-winner, but according to Ambrose he had a nervous breakdown a few years ago and you can’t trust the man with a spoon, let alone a box cutter. DG snickers a lot whenever Ambrose starts rambling about the vices of the head engineer, but she also has a crush on the half-hippie, half-emo, all-natural gardener named Raw that seems to pay very special attention to the fichus on her desk, so Cain isn’t sure how much trust he puts in her sense of humor. But when Ambrose isn’t complaining about his rival (or maybe boss) they get along great and have gone out bowling a few times, although they keep flirting with the idea of playing laser tag together.
It’s an easy enough job, since nobody seems to have a deep grudge against O.Z. Industries or a fiendish plot to steal all the staples so their job is postponed for years, so Cain spends a lot of time people-watching. He isn’t big on gossip, but he ends up knowing everything anyway, like that the boss, this knock-out woman named Azkadellia that Cain can only describe as severe, tried to start a corporate takeover when she was thirteen just because the family’s apparently sadistic babysitter convinced her to, and that there was some rumored hidden research facility where they sucked out your mind and soul just to see what makes you tick, but Cain doesn’t believe a word of it. The people make video cameras, for God’s sake. Illicit biological research doesn’t exactly seem the company’s style. Plus there’s a rumor that DG is Azkadellia’s little sister rediscovered after she was lost at birth and that their mother’s in prison for trying to stage a rebellion against the mayor, so Cain barely trusts the office workers when they tell him it’s someone’s birthday, let alone that his life’s in danger. What would he be in danger from? A wayward staple?
The only suspicious thing he’s seen about the entire company is that Cain got his job after the previous security guard, a man named Lonot, went missing and is presumed dead. The night security guard, Zero, doesn’t seem like he wants to talk about it, and Cain doesn’t pry because ‘rent-a-cop’ or not, there’s risks in the job and nobody likes to think about what could happen. Cain was there in time for the memorial chocolate cake that got passed around the office, though, so not all was lost. Adora sent Lonot’s widow a fruit basket picked from the trees in their backyard, and when the widow didn’t even say thank you, Cain more or less ignores the entire situation aside from the occasional person who came in looking nervous and shifty and asking for Lonot, because it’s never fun to tell people someone they know is dead.
Cain only has the job for seven months, since when he tries to come into work one Monday he finds out the entire building caught fire a few hours ago and the blaze is going strong. Ambrose and DG and even Raw are sitting outside the building watching it burn. Even though it’s six thirty in the morning, he takes them all to a bar, since they look like they need it and he’s pretty sure DG turned 21 a couple months ago. They sit, and drink, and eat, and chat, and it cheers DG and Raw up enough that Cain doesn’t object when they leave. Ambrose is still moping though, so Cain pats him on the back. “At least you don’t have to deal with the head inventor over there anymore, right?”
“Right,” Ambrose says a little weakly, and after a couple hours of eating junk food they go play laser tag.