If you could live anywhere, where would you, and why?
On varzil_neskaya's world, the planet Darkover. And not just because I have come to regard Varzil as a friend these recent weeks, or because I imagine it as an ideal place. I am not that naive, and Varzil's tales of his world, which fascinate me, show in ample detail how many problems they have - and enough horror to compete with our universe. But I could live
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You must have been a terror for your mother. And I'm feeling totally ridiculous for going all maternal over you, when you're definitely older than me. Still. The poor woman.
It's good to hear that you'll be staying around, Michael, and with something you enjoy doing, too. I'd miss you if you were gone.
but I'm not supposed to use my abilities right now
That makes sense; later then.
Got a taste of my own medicine recently
Michael, I'm going to send something. Don't worry, no thought or image, but since I can't hug you...
*she sends a feathery, very light touch with support/friendship/acceptance*
is it normal to pick up feelings from a lover
*amused*
Some people would swear you don't need telepathy for that one. Okay, seriously now: it is. Even when your gifts were supressed and still latent, your lover would be the person you're most attuned to. Like people walking together on a long road - it only takes them a while before their steps harmonize, right?
It can be wonderful. Also annoying, and frightening, depending on how you and your lover feel at the moment. You know, sometimes you just don't want to know, if you're tired and stressed enough, and besides, no matter how great the relationship, everyone has arguments now and then. So once you're able to start training, you should work on your shields, so you can choose most of what you sense - you'll probably never be able to shut it all out, nor would you want to, am I right?
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*trying -- and failing -- to be the picture of innocence*
I have no idea what you're talking about...
*ahem*
And for you, I was thinking more 'big sister', anyway.
*she sends a feathery, very light touch with support/friendship/acceptance*
*she can feel him smile in response, but she can also feel that his control is all over the board -- leaky brain... Luckily, certain things are behaving and staying where they've been put for the moment*
Some people would swear you don't need telepathy for that one.
Well, yeah, that's true. *grin*
Okay, seriously now: it is.
*relieved, and blushing slightly*
That's really good to know. For a little while, I was scared that life was going to get even more complicated. I've had about enough complication for the moment...
It can be wonderful.
*really blushing now*
So once you're able to start training, you should work on your shields, so you can choose most of what you sense - you'll probably never be able to shut it all out, nor would you want to, am I right?
Definitely could never do that -- I've never felt so... complete before...
I never thought I'd say this -- I honestly think if someone had told me a week ago that I'd say this, I'd have told them they were abso-fraggin'-lutely nuts -- but at this point, if someone offered me the chance to go back to the way I was before, I wouldn't take it. Not after feeling that... No way.
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*very amused*
Figures. What was her name, by the way? In case we need to suggest more candidates for beatification to the Pope, you know.
And as for you, I was thinking more 'big sister', anyway.
*touched and trying very hard not to think about the Psi Corps family doctrine which entails "we're all brothers and sisters"*
Thank you.
*wistfully*
I never had siblings; my parents thought about it but after they... found out about my telepathy, they decided not to, for obvious reasons. Do you have any brothers and sisters back at home, Michael, or were you an only child as well?
Not after feeling that... No way.
*softly*
I know what you mean. And that is why the Sleepers are such a terrible option for us, and so hard to accept.
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*he makes a face at her, then realizes she can't see it*
Lucia -- and yeah, she was a saint for putting up with me, and my dad... *slightly sad smile*
Do you have any brothers and sisters back at home, Michael, or were you an only child as well?
Nah, I'm an only child. Dad was a GROPO and things kept him away from home a lot...
*softly*
I know what you mean. And that is why the Sleepers are such a terrible option for us, and so hard to accept.
Yeah... definitely getting that now. *shudder* But I'm not gonna join Psi Corps, either. What the hell, I'm getting used to running around with a great big target on my back, what's one more group chasing after me?
*she might get an impression that he's much more nervous about this than his flip remarks indicate*
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I didn't get the impression you are higher than P2, Michael. Which means that they have no legal right to draft you. Besides, once Clark and his regime are gone, didn't we plan on a revolution anyway? No more Psi Corps and no more apartheid laws for telepaths? I believed you when you told me you and your friends would work for this a while ago. You need to believe it now.
*serious*
Speaking of telepaths... I'm worried about a new friend of mine whom I encountered through this virtual world of messages from everywhere Babcom has been linked to these last months, Varzil, whom I mentioned in my reply to the most recent question. I just found out he talked to them...
*for a brief moment, she can't stop her intense fear of the Shadows spilling over, then she hastily reasserts her blocks again*
...promising them a confrontation. Now I'm afraid of what they might do - for all I know, they could decide to destroy his world in retaliation, just to get rid of that many telepaths. If I knew there was no way to pass from one universe to the other, I'd know that Varzil and his people are safe - could you investigate that for me?
And... there is another thing. Anna told me those implants in my body were one of the things they can use to control us. I think I'm safe now, since my body is frozen and my consciousness mostly separate from it, but... I cannot be sure.
I - they could try to use me against the station. If that happens, I just wanted you to know that if you find a way to kill what's left of me, I'd understand, and I would welcome it. I never want to be in their power again, ever.
*grimly*
But if they can't control me again, I might be able to hurt them. And I would welcome that as well.
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*he restrains himself from making a comment that might upset her; hopes that maybe Bester really is as decent as she thinks he is*
Yeah, that's true.
Besides, once Clark and his regime are gone, didn't we plan on a revolution anyway? No more Psi Corps and no more apartheid laws for telepaths? I believed you when you told me you and your friends would work for this a while ago. You need to believe it now.
Definitely. Need to figure out where Lyta went, for one thing, and talk to her about it...
[OOC: right now we don't have a Lyta, so I'm figuring she's off doing something or other for Kosh...]
...Varzil, whom I mentioned in my reply to the most recent question. I just found out he talked to them...
*for a brief moment, she can't stop her intense fear of the Shadows spilling over, then she hastily reasserts her blocks again*
*she gets an intense flash of fear from him -- the Shadow ships on Mars, and beneath that, something very odd: hazy like a dream, but it has the feel of being a distant memory at the same time. Being surrounded by Shadows, those rows of glowing eyes burning at him with all the fury they're capable of. Surprisingly enough, the primary things she might feel from that is the resolve that he will either kill all of them, or die trying. Fear is buried much deeper than she would expect it to be. And then he snaps back to himself with a violent shiver and tells himself, "Deal with that later!"*
...promising them a confrontation.
What? Is he nuts?!
Now I'm afraid of what they might do - for all I know, they could decide to destroy his world in retaliation, just to get rid of that many telepaths. If I knew there was no way to pass from one universe to the other, I'd know that Varzil and his people are safe - could you investigate that for me?
I'm sorry, but you're not gonna like the answer, I can tell you that right now. We've already had people from all kinds of different universes popping in right onto the station. It's possible they could get to him...
But... if he's from another universe, then did the Vorlons fiddle with them, too, or did the telepathy come about some other way? Maybe they won't be so upset because there's no... oh. Crap.
Okay, from what Sheridan told me (and things I've managed to dig up...) we know telepaths in our universe were engineered by the Vorlons, right? And telepaths in our universe hurt the Shadows, because of that Vorlon influence. It's not the telepathy, it's the Vorlon-ness... They were already willing to use teeps as weapons even though they could hurt them. What the hell would they do if they managed to find ones that didn't automatically hurt them?!
You gotta tell your friend to stop baiting them! Does he have any idea how much danger he's in?
And... there is another thing. Anna told me those implants in my body were one of the things they can use to control us. I think I'm safe now, since my body is frozen and my consciousness mostly separate from it, but... I cannot be sure.
Shit.
...I never want to be in their power again, ever.
*there's a brief flash of something that he slams the lid on so fast, she isn't really sure what it is: soft skin, hard armour, beautiful black iridescence, and overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation.*
Believe me, I'll try everything in my power to keep that from happening. I promise. And you know me well enough to know that if there's no way, I'll do what has to be done...
But if they can't control me again, I might be able to hurt them. And I would welcome that as well.
Yeah -- just don't take any crazy risks, okay?
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What? Is he nuts?!
*sadly*
No, just brave and gallant. He knows what they did to me. And since his people don't have space travel, I don't think he's truly aware of what they are capable of. I'm trying to tell him, though.
I'm sorry, but you're not gonna like the answer, I can tell you that right now. We've already had people from all kinds of different universes popping in right onto the station. It's possible they could get to him...
I was afraid of that. If this happens, then...
*tries to collect herself*
There are means to kill them, I know there are. Perhaps he could learn them in time. Or perhaps, if they can cross, so can others, Allies of Captain Sheridan this time.
Okay, from what Sheridan told me (and things I've managed to dig up...) we know telepaths in our universe were engineered by the Vorlons, right?
*outraged*
What?
Okay. Anger management.
*which doesn't work*
Those bastards!
*after a while*
I hope I'm not sounding like a hypocrite. Of course I still wouldn't trade being a telepath away, but the idea that we were engineered as weapons to begin with by one side - and then the other side used us as well -
It. Makes. Me. Sick.
*more calmly*
Sorry. I hadn't been aware of that. I mean, I knew the Vorlons had modified Lyta Alexander, but no more than that.
They were already willing to use teeps as weapons even though they could hurt them. What the hell would they do if they managed to find ones that didn't automatically hurt them?!
I don't want to find out. And nobody else should. I just hope Varzil listens to me! Or, failing that, that they won't be able to get to him.
Damn!
*there's a brief flash of something that he slams the lid on so fast, she isn't really sure what it is: soft skin, hard armour, beautiful black iridescence, and overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation.*
*The sensation of pleasure throws her out of her fear and outrage for a moment; then she decides she must have been wrong, that she felt something else from him in that very brief moment*
Believe me, I'll try everything in my power to keep that from happening. I promise. And you know me well enough to know that if there's no way, I'll do what has to be done...
*simply, and deeply grateful*
Yes.
Yeah -- just don't take any crazy risks, okay?
I promise I'll try. Believe me, I don't to be anywhere near those creatures. But - if my friends are in danger because of me - maybe I won't have a choice.
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Don't see why not -- Londo's friend Damar seems to have returned to his home without any ill effects, so it at least looks like things can travel both ways. We might want to try sending an unmanned probe, first, though. Just in case.
*outraged*
What?
Okay. Anger management.
*which doesn't work*
*flinch*
*sudden horror as he realizes it wasn't common knowledge, and he's just made a damned sloppy amateur mistake. His recent discoveries have made him far more careless than he should be, and that has to stop right now.*
*except that he has to at least explain, now that he's blown it*
I... I'm sorry. He must have gotten it from the piece of Kosh in his head... He mentioned it so offhand... I thought--
And I knew it was true from something Valen wrote...
I hope I'm not sounding like a hypocrite. Of course I still wouldn't trade being a telepath away, but the idea that we were engineered as weapons to begin with by one side - and then the other side used us as well -
It. Makes. Me. Sick.
When I found out, it made me sick, and I didn't even know I was a telepath at that point. The fraggin' Vorlons make themselves out to be so damned good and they're just as bad as the Shadows! If not worse! At least the damned Shadows give some of their victims a choice, even if it's a terrible choice to have to make!
*stops suddenly, trying to get his raging emotions under control. It's all too easy to see how they get in; all too easy to see how people fall into their trap without even realizing it... Choice versus blind obedience and trust? He knows which way he would go, and that scares him more than anything else...*
*The sensation of pleasure throws her out of her fear and outrage for a moment; then she decides she must have been wrong, that she felt something else from him in that very brief moment*
*whatever it was, it's locked down tight now, despite his lack of control everywhere else*
But - if my friends are in danger because of me - maybe I won't have a choice.
Just please, tell him to be careful and not antagonize them. Maybe they'll get distracted by something else...
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*excited*
I've got the ideal thing. Varzil and his friends are working on helping a girl that seems to suffer from radiation sickness, and he thinks they could try moving matter through what he calls "the matrix screens". If Dr. Franklin puts a package together, we could try it!
they're just as bad as the Shadows
*bitter*
I can't see any difference anymore, either. But don't kid yourself about the Shadows offering a choice. Only if it is convenient to them. They certainly didn't offer anything of the sort to me, or any of the others whose bodies are currently frozen solid on this station.
The universe would be better off without both of them.
About Varzil: he promised to be careful from now on. We'll just have to hope for the best, I suppose...
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Oh, that's not good... d'you have any idea what happened?
and he thinks they could try moving matter through what he calls "the matrix screens"...
Teleportation? That'd be wild...
They certainly didn't offer anything of the sort to me, or any of the others whose bodies are currently frozen solid on this station.
Yeah... somehow they decided that Department Sigma and Clark and whoever all else made that deal could speak for the lot of you. Us. Damn it.
The universe would be better off without both of them.
I agree completely! I don't need any alien playing at being God's messengers coming from on high expecting me to jump just because they fraggin' say so, OR any alien deciding if I don't play their games I need to be shredded or... *shudder* turned into a 'weapons component'.
Bastards.
About Varzil: he promised to be careful from now on. We'll just have to hope for the best, I suppose...
Good. Hopefully they'll just get distracted and forget about him...
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Apparently, there is a civil war going on, and they use weapons that function similar to nuclear bombs. Varzil is trying to put an end to this and has succeeded in persuading some of the warring parties to agree to a compound forbidding the use of such weapons, but not all. And the girl is what politicians everywhere quaintly refer to as "collateral damage" in a war where neither party had agreed to said compound.
*sad*
Disgust with First Ones not withstanding, we humans can be pretty stupid on our own, can't we?
*more optimistic*
Anyway, I sent a message to Dr. Franklin, who put together a package, and Varzil received it. I'm pretty much over the moon with joy, unless I'm remembering that if teleportation works via these matrices, then maybe the Shadows will be able to go there as well...
I agree completely! I don't need any alien playing at being God's messengers coming from on high expecting me to jump just because they fraggin' say so, OR any alien deciding if I don't play their games I need to be shredded or... *shudder* turned into a 'weapons component'.
Bastards.
I suppose the hope they'd do each other in is too much to ask for?
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Oh, that's just great...
Disgust with First Ones not withstanding, we humans can be pretty stupid on our own, can't we?
Yeah, we're pretty good at dreaming up new and improved ways of offing ourselves... Glad to hear your friend's able to make some headway, though. Let's just hope the holdouts aren't as stubborn as certain races we know...
Anyway, I sent a message to Dr. Franklin, who put together a package, and Varzil received it.
That's great! Please tell me it's helping... Can't stand the thought of kids getting caught up in wars.
I'm pretty much over the moon with joy, unless I'm remembering that if teleportation works via these matrices, then maybe the Shadows will be able to go there as well...
Er... yeah. Let's not think about that right now. As a matter of fact, let's actively NOT think about that, and maybe none of 'em will figure it out. *shudder*
I suppose the hope they'd do each other in is too much to ask for?
Unfortunately, I think we're outta luck on that one. They've been at this for... hell, a long fraggin' time.
Oh -- hey, before I forget! I might have found a teacher, although however this person got here is beyond me. (Then again, he's just like everyone else who's shown up, so why not...) There's a Jedi Knight on the station -- like in the 'Star Wars' movie series... Now, if only I could get one of those cool lightsabers...
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Hoping with you...
That's great! Please tell me it's helping... Can't stand the thought of kids getting caught up in wars.
Me neither. From what Varzil wrote, it's effective though he'll need a few days more to see whether Hilary is really out of the danger zone. If I were within my body now, you'd see me dancing around.
Oh -- hey, before I forget! I might have found a teacher, although however this person got here is beyond me. (Then again, he's just like everyone else who's shown up, so why not...) There's a Jedi Knight on the station -- like in the 'Star Wars' movie series...
A Jedi Knight? A real Jedi Knight? That's amazing, and you're so lucky. Unless it's Yoda, because I can't see you going for the kind of food he serves to his students.*g*
*curious*
Could you introduce us at one point?
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*grin*
Keeping my fingers crossed for her...
A Jedi Knight? A real Jedi Knight?
Yeah -- pretty wild, huh?
That's amazing, and you're so lucky. Unless it's Yoda, because I can't see you going for the kind of food he serves to his students.*g*
*shudder*
Er... no. Not Yoda. No crunchy swamp sticks for me, thank you. Blech.
No, believe it or not, it's Obi-Wan's teacher, Qui-Gon Jinn!
I'm just praying I don't say something stupid about the movies and sound like a freak...
Could you introduce us at one point?
I'll see what I can do. Wonder if perhaps he can help with the implants, or knows someone who could... Hmmn...
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Though I guess we should have expected that - that awful magazine mentioned them in their last edition, which reminds me - did you warn the Jedi about this? Otherwise he'll probably find himself in there next week.
No, believe it or not, it's Obi-Wan's teacher, Qui-Gon Jinn!
My favourite Jedi - of the ones that remained light side, at any rate.*g* Okay, I'll try not go all fangirl on him if the occasion arises.
*impish, wondering whether he has seen that old vid as well*
Dignity. Always... dignity.
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So, who's your favourite Jedi, otherwise, then? Anakin?
*grin*
Dignity. Yeah. Now let's just hope I manage to hang onto my own...
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