(no subject)
As I sit to type this deluge of words, I reflect upon myself in the last 4 years. I have changed in many ways, but there still is a definite constant. I am still blind. My tunnel vison prevents me from seeing the outer beauty of what is around me. My peripheral vision is strong on the field, but not in my mind. I skip the prelude, only to find the questions, and miss out on all that is vital to the question itself. Why set goals when you only do mediocre things to attain them? I ask myself that, and can cast no answer. My selfishness has caused pain, and my stubborness has caused grief. I cannot change what is done. I can only choose to better myself. I must accept the hate I have, even though I am against the fact hate exists. Against those who've hurt me, and those who have hurt those close to me. How can I teach when I am crippled in my own mind, will I even survive till then, what is to become of the boy who would be a man? I cannot forsee. Hope hasn't shown its holy light, either. I find that I must push myself, I must be selfish sometimes, or I risk losing all I've wanted. Is this why I am so blind, that I choose to let my flaws dominate my existence? Is this a divine punishment? Ah, that one can only partake in the thought that such a power seeks to help or hurt. I am halfway up the hill of my first goal, yet something ails me to sit and relax, only as I watch dark clouds follow me. If I don't cross this hill, they will engulf me, so I must push. But do I have the will? Or am I still to blind to see the sunlight over the hill, to allow myself to believe there is nothing really over that hill? Pah. Come what may, I will cross this hill. In fair or dangerous weather. I must see the beauty that lies over the hill. The bridegroom seeks his wife, his life, over this hill, even though the journey has left him fatigued and pained. I must remove the blindness from my eyes, and see the green valley ahead, the neverending day, and the everlasting nights, and the climb of the mountain of glory. The pallor of my skin, the sickness in my veins that ails me, I must forsake myself. To the hills I race, to the greatness of a new day! To end the blackness that follows, to break free! There shall be no one to hold me back there, only those who wish to traverse along with me! So let me race the danger that follows me, fair gentlemen, we shall live forever as the men that outran the beast and basked in eternal sunlight atop the mount. May our feet be swift, may we cross the dark into the dawn, the hour of endings approaches! And may God the Almighty be with us as we race to our destiny! For life, for liberty, and above all else; FOR ETERNAL HAPPINESS!
Fin.
Fin.