Nights
Tonight has been one of those rough nights. One of the nights where you lie in bed and everything replays over and over in your head. You sit in the dark and wonder why and why not and you listen to music that conveys emotions you never really have the courage to get across. The kind of night you pray your phone would ring so you could have someone to talk to and laugh with, god knows a single smile would start this whole night at zero again. There are so many unanswered questions that only time will ever resolve but I've never been a patient person. A big question I've been having a lot recently is when is this girl going to come and sweep me off my feet? The same girl I listen to the music for and the girl I hope calls so I can laugh and start it all over. I've been buckling down so much and looking for a girl who I can date for a little longer than a few months but my search isn't turning up any results. I'ved lived a lot more life than other 19 year olds and I like to think I know a few things, but I can't figure out the deeper psychology of women. These days girls are looking for a guy to completely sweep them off their feet. I'm a chubby guy so I'm already the slow horse out of the gate, I have to rely on personality by itself to get me to the finish line, but it's not enough. Why? Since when wasn't happiness the biggest priority? I've always been a firm believer of the most important thing being what puts a smile on your face, but that won't pan out until people have finished maturing and for right now I'm tired of competing. Starting soon I'm puting in effect a no bullshit policy, I'm just sick of people who can't communicate and don't know what they want, it just pisses me off.
My dad is having trouble keeping a job. I definitely don't make enough money to support us so I don't know what's going to happen. I'm ready to move out but I can't just leave him until he's found a nice steady job. I guess it's jsut one of those nights where I have to worry about something like that.
Steve and Christina broke up again tonight.. possibly permanently? I love steve and all but he has to see that there are other women out there, he's not in love with her and shes not perfect. She was only his second girlfriend, and the first girlfriend that lasted over a month. That's insane. I've had to deal with that like 5 more times than him, I know how the deal works but he refuses it. 'No man, I'll never be happy again.' Whatever Steve.. you shouldn't have broken up with her got with another girl and got back with her and expected it to work out. I dunno, I guess it's just one of those nights.
Oh yeah.. haha, while we were talking at Deep Run the cops pulled up and got all pissy with us being there talking except I forgot my license and my car was there so they knew I drove without it, but they let us go. Yeah, definitely one of those nights.
My dad is having trouble keeping a job. I definitely don't make enough money to support us so I don't know what's going to happen. I'm ready to move out but I can't just leave him until he's found a nice steady job. I guess it's jsut one of those nights where I have to worry about something like that.
Steve and Christina broke up again tonight.. possibly permanently? I love steve and all but he has to see that there are other women out there, he's not in love with her and shes not perfect. She was only his second girlfriend, and the first girlfriend that lasted over a month. That's insane. I've had to deal with that like 5 more times than him, I know how the deal works but he refuses it. 'No man, I'll never be happy again.' Whatever Steve.. you shouldn't have broken up with her got with another girl and got back with her and expected it to work out. I dunno, I guess it's just one of those nights.
Oh yeah.. haha, while we were talking at Deep Run the cops pulled up and got all pissy with us being there talking except I forgot my license and my car was there so they knew I drove without it, but they let us go. Yeah, definitely one of those nights.