I am officially sick
I went to the doctor today because the splitting migraine I've had since the day Deacon was born has gotten progressively worse in the past 48 hours, and my ears are pounding. My throat is also very swollen so I'm an overall mess. On top of all of this, Deacon is having some sort of allergic reaction his diapers which causes him to bleed out of a very sensitive area. So today he is screaming his head off while I'm supposed to be sleeping so I didn't get as much rest as I require to get over this cold/sinus infection thing I seem to have contracted.
Did I mention that once again my mother has revealed her true intentions behind all the "support" she's been giving me the past few months? Once again, I have been expected to fail, this time at motherhood, so she has been so "supportive" in efforts to make sure when I fail, Deacon is harmed in the process. I realized this tonight after a long talk with Jovan (after my mother apparently went sobbing to him, leaving him very uncomfortable and baffled) and now I am so upset, depressed, angry, betrayed that my horrible migraine has become even worse. It's like a sleep-deprivation/sinus infection/stress - tension headache and it's making my entire neck and head throb. This is hell... I thought having a baby was going to make my life better and more wonderful... Why does my mother have to ruin every good thing that comes into my life?
Did I mention that once again my mother has revealed her true intentions behind all the "support" she's been giving me the past few months? Once again, I have been expected to fail, this time at motherhood, so she has been so "supportive" in efforts to make sure when I fail, Deacon is harmed in the process. I realized this tonight after a long talk with Jovan (after my mother apparently went sobbing to him, leaving him very uncomfortable and baffled) and now I am so upset, depressed, angry, betrayed that my horrible migraine has become even worse. It's like a sleep-deprivation/sinus infection/stress - tension headache and it's making my entire neck and head throb. This is hell... I thought having a baby was going to make my life better and more wonderful... Why does my mother have to ruin every good thing that comes into my life?