May 30, 2005 12:11
Yeah, I should be happy 'cause I met a really cool gurl yesterday, but I feel so sad 'cause I'm having flashbacks of my grandmother...I miss her very much. But now, as quiet as it kept, I posted an ad on Craigslist over a week ago, sayin' that I have no social life & that I'm in need of lesbian friends...well, after a couple of bisexual who wern't in town, one ad & two short responses that were not worth responding...one from town finally responded...my age range is between 21-37...she's 20, but my heart told me to give her a chance, and we've been exchanging e-mails for almost a week...and then yesterday, she e-mails me back, then she IMs me on AOL, gave her my number to call, she calls, we meet at Starbucks...and then at my place...but we didn't have sex(I wish)...remember, I'm looking for FRIENDS to chill with, nothing more, but I'm dealing with a dilemma...I guess you can say that a crush has developed as we were exchanging e-mails & after we met, especially after we met, so yeah, I do like her(I know right...ALREADY?!! LOL)...that's not good...that's not good at all...and I don't know what to do except play it off and get to know her a lil' more...but I think I gave myself away when I said this to her(this was from the e-mail I've sent to her last night):
You know what I think of Ms. Nikki...not only you are sweet, but you're very kind-hearted, funny, you have such a cute smile(I honestly was going to say that to you, but I didn't want u to think that I was trying to flirt with you or something...I didn't want to scare you off with my forwardness...ok, maybe I did wanted to be a lil' flirty, but like I said...I don't want to scare you off...), you're very articulate, so easygoing & laid back(I like that a lot), I love your hair(I still want to curl it up, hehe), hon you're a very interesting person & yes I'm diggin' you also...and ummm...I know I already said that you're a beautiful woman, but Nikki...straight up...you're very attractive, especially in person...there, I said it...now I really hope I didn't scare you off :-O .
Now I'm a lil' worried on how she's gonna react, but then again I shouldn't trip 'cause she's pretty forward, too...for instance, she said that she doesn't mind me being forward 'cause it turns her on...then she said(before we met), "I like you, you seem like a wonderful person."(she also said that when we were talking on the phone...), she also said, "I do ENJOY talking to you very much and I cant wait to meet up with you"...and lastly, "OK, I really am starting to dig you..."(before we met face-to-face)...she's also hooked on my poetry...but I think she's just being nice & that she does think I'm cool :) .
I don't like this crush I have on her & like I said, I don't know what to do...she hasn't responded to my e-mail yet...I guess I'll just wait it out and see what she'll say about what I said to her and about us meeting.
Much Luv