Nov 02, 2009 21:47
"come and go now as you please, your actions write the melodies to those songs that we sing"
"is this the way you want it? is this the way it has to be? sitting here beside you while my heart's still lost in new orleans"
"dreams come clever, hearts now severed, differences are forever and i am lost there"
she's from louisiana and i know that i can never be with her, so this song is a bittersweet reminder of what i want and can't have. not that i haven't tried - she's flat out told me that she's not interested in me, but still hangs out with me all the time.
i don't think i'll ever figure this out.
maybe i am naive? maybe i am a lot of things, but i know i'm not stupid. i can figure her out. she's certainly not that complicated. i wish she was more complicated. with her i always feel like she's one dimensional. she assumes a hell of a lot about me and doesn't look any deeper. whoever she thinks i am and who i think i am are two different people. but i worry. if she likes him, would she like me?
the others keep telling me to let her go. stop inviting her over and hanging out. i think they see something that i don't. either that or i've seen some kindness and interesting personality trait that they haven't. a few times i have definitely wanted to cast off these lust-driven feelings and just stop talking to her. but i keep deciding to take another approach. instead of just being mad and not talking to her again, i'm letting her know how i feel. if i'm mad, i let her know. i figure communication could fix my feelings and maintain the relationship. it's something new for me so i figure it's worth a shot. i can always ignore my feelings later.