inner struggle within ones self is the loneliest and hardest
ive been thinkin lately. a few events in the past weeks have tirggerd a almost mature acceptance and my iggnorance and ways are now brought to light. i realized what an asshole ive been to people in the past and also to the people in the present. Just seeing it makes me feel like shit and it keeps playing in the back fo my head. realized major mistakes i made in relationships and still dont think i could really handle one, but what eats me inside is the fact that i want one. I lost a good friend, but that had a reason only thing i saw that was justified. but the thought of others around me ditching me becasue of stupid mistakes i had made. overwheelming paranoia. could be worse i could be an alcoholic. Now those kinda lines areant boosting the confidence. So right now im just getting by on a emotional level. and is going insane inside well according to mrs singleton, i guess im a "silent screamer" but i guess writing this someone may read it or not. Ah tis the life.i got the 50 album its okay, had drivers ed i swear this woman was a chain smoker, every 5 minutes she lit up, i drove like shit on purpose to make her pull out a cig. but she was nice the car sucked though it was a complete shit for braking and speeding. yeah i guess its more time alone to think shit over. became more intelligent today but the cost of feelings of security, so i guess im to insecure right now.