(no subject)
I heard "I'll be home for Christmas" today on the raido, and haven't been able to stop crying.
Now is one of those times when I hear everybody bitchin cause of lame ass reasons, and it makes me sick.
People complain cause they have to spend christmas at home, or they don't like there Parent(s), or they don't have any money. Well you know what!?
I have roughly 35 cents in my bank account right now.
I own one pair of pants, they are about six to eight inches to long and say taco bell on them.
The only two shirts that fit me are worn down staind tank tops. (both are grey)
I own one pair of shoes, they don't fit cause my feet are too swolen, so I have to ware my sandles everywhere, oh by the by, they riped about five monthes ago and are held tgether by duck tape.
I can't aford to give my own children a christmas. Thier first christmas is nothing because of me. sure they'll get things from other people, but not me.
I haven't felt this bad in years. I don't see this getting better anytime soon, the closer christmas comes, the worse I get. I get so depressed that I long for the dark. I listen to the same song over and over so loud in my headphones for hours. Then when I get though that moment, I can say I'l making it though the days fine, and not just surviving through a life, and body I hate. That's why I want an mp3 player so I can dissaper again. I need music, to set me free, to let me bleed.
Now is one of those times when I hear everybody bitchin cause of lame ass reasons, and it makes me sick.
People complain cause they have to spend christmas at home, or they don't like there Parent(s), or they don't have any money. Well you know what!?
I have roughly 35 cents in my bank account right now.
I own one pair of pants, they are about six to eight inches to long and say taco bell on them.
The only two shirts that fit me are worn down staind tank tops. (both are grey)
I own one pair of shoes, they don't fit cause my feet are too swolen, so I have to ware my sandles everywhere, oh by the by, they riped about five monthes ago and are held tgether by duck tape.
I can't aford to give my own children a christmas. Thier first christmas is nothing because of me. sure they'll get things from other people, but not me.
I haven't felt this bad in years. I don't see this getting better anytime soon, the closer christmas comes, the worse I get. I get so depressed that I long for the dark. I listen to the same song over and over so loud in my headphones for hours. Then when I get though that moment, I can say I'l making it though the days fine, and not just surviving through a life, and body I hate. That's why I want an mp3 player so I can dissaper again. I need music, to set me free, to let me bleed.