"It's just another reason why, it all comes down to you and I"
Hello. I haven't been on for a while and I wanted to post, and hope that you guys haven't forgot about me. I hope everybody had a good Christmas, and New Year. Nothing much has really gone on over here. My Mom got into an accident. She's okay, and everything, but the car was messed up. I don't know what's going to happen to the car, but My Mom's okay, and that's all that fucking matters. She called me and told me, and told me to tell Anthony to come get her. He wasn't home, so I had to wait, and when he got home I told him, you'd think hearing something like that the person would race out the door, and speed over to there mother, right? Well, not my Brother. He went into his room put his stuff down, then went back into the kitchen and made himself a protein shake. Then didn't break the speed limit all the way there. I hate my brother. I really do. Nothing is more important to him, than him and his shit. His old girlfriend, that says she's pregnant with his baby sent my Mom a Christmas card, it's funny. She wants so much attention from us, and isn't getting any. My Brother was going off the other day about if it is his kid, that He wouldn't know what to do, and then said, "I'd kill myself" I hate my brother! I would do anything to have a daughter, or son of my own, and ass holes like my brother don't fucking care. I want a family so bad, I want to be a Daddy. All these people that fuck around, aren't ready to have children, and don't want them. Then don't fuck around. God that makes me so mad, you have no idea. What in the world would be better than being able to create life? On another note I still don't have a job. Dude, I've honestly put in an application at every store, shop, stand, House in Trenton Georgia. I can't find a job smoking shit for a living. I even go into Chattanooga, which is a pretty big City for the South and I can't find nothing there either. Not even in fast food joints. I don't know what to do. I have some money saved up, and I'm going to go down into New Mexico and look for a job. I should get one there, it's a LOT bigger than anything around here. If I can't find a job there, I don't know what I'm going to do. I honestly don't. I've been trying so hard, SO FUCKING HARD. I need to catch a break soon. I can't eat, I can barely sleep anymore. I got so much to think about, and so much to worry about, and to be scared about. Amanda helps me so much, more than I could ever dream of getting from anybody. I am so fucking in love with her. She's seriously my Angel. I don't know what I'd do without her. I try so hard to show her just how much I love her, and how much I need her, but I think I do it the wrong way sometimes, and not enough at other times. I'm thinking about just getting a few things together, and going down there. Even if I have to stay in a homeless shelter for a while until I find a job, cause I need her. I need to touch her, to see her face, to look into her eyes. I can't stay her much longer, my health isn't cooperating with my so much anymore, and I have to get out of here. I want to help her, and be there for her. Well, I think I should go now. I don't know what else to say, and I've rambled to much anyway. I was going to post a picture, but I don't feel like doing all that right now, and You don't want to see me right now anyway, I look like hell. I'll talk to you guys later. I'm OUT!