another chapter closed
so this is another entry about him. mr.C.* ok so a while back i stepped up and said i cant like him anymore. blah blah blah. i knew they were "broken up" but still "together" if that makes any sense. yesterday i found out that they offically broke things off a long time ago, and now hes dating a sophmore. yeah. we also had completely stopped talking to each other. even as friends. which left me questioning because there was no reason we still couldnt be friends. but now i know why. theres another girl in the picture. where did she come from??
he called me last night. i asked him what happened. how did his new romance come about. apparently she told him she had a crush on him and within days they start to date. so i said hmm, thats funny because you and i estavlish that we had a thing for each other about a year ago ... in a sense i guess you could say i was waiting for him. as pittyful as it may sound. i explained to him how i didnt understand how ive been here for a yr and she walks up and he chooses her. yes, we said that if we should ever date we'd wait a while. ok so why so soon for his new relationship? i explained how we should have never started in the first place, it was wrong and even though i felt bad about it then i tried to block it out, but now i just feel horrible. he said the same. he told me that he'd wish he would have never told me the things he said. ouch. i asked him if he meant any of it, if i meant anything to him. he said, i did like you .. a little bit but liked her so much more. again, ouch. he used to tell me that he wanted to date me, that he liked me so much. at 1st i didnt want to fall for it, because i knew they were just lines. but this had been going on a yr and so it seemed legit. wrong. so i said to him i wished i would have never answered the phone calls. but i also told him that i was there for him so many times. i would stay up so late just to hear him talk about his problems. i was a friend. he told me the reason why he shut me out completely was because he realized it was wrong of him and he didnt want to continue. ok thats nice but could he have at least told me instead of having me wonder around asking, what just happened here? i told him i guess i was just a test, and it was a cruel one at that. but i admitted that i was just as guilty as him. i put myself in the situation too when i could have just walked away and left it. but i didnt. i fell into it, not completely blind but stupid. yes i was stupid.
as cliche as it may sound, i thought he was different. he wasnt like the other guys at school. but i was wrong. he is just like tha rest of them. to end our conversation last night i said to him, im not going to cry over you, or drag around. i was going to put in it the past and say well it was fun while it lasted. and ive learned from it. i said good luck with your new gf dont do her like you did the last one. you're a good guy deep down, but i had my share and it wasnt right for me. he said he felt really bad and all he could say was sorry because he was a lost for words. of course he was, how can you explain something like that. i wasnt expecting an explantion, i wanted one but mostly i wanted to tell him how i felt. i put up with so much and i never get to put my two cents in, so i was brave and let it all out. so its over and done with. just another guy to add to the list of rejects.
he was a bad kisser anyways. =(
he called me last night. i asked him what happened. how did his new romance come about. apparently she told him she had a crush on him and within days they start to date. so i said hmm, thats funny because you and i estavlish that we had a thing for each other about a year ago ... in a sense i guess you could say i was waiting for him. as pittyful as it may sound. i explained to him how i didnt understand how ive been here for a yr and she walks up and he chooses her. yes, we said that if we should ever date we'd wait a while. ok so why so soon for his new relationship? i explained how we should have never started in the first place, it was wrong and even though i felt bad about it then i tried to block it out, but now i just feel horrible. he said the same. he told me that he'd wish he would have never told me the things he said. ouch. i asked him if he meant any of it, if i meant anything to him. he said, i did like you .. a little bit but liked her so much more. again, ouch. he used to tell me that he wanted to date me, that he liked me so much. at 1st i didnt want to fall for it, because i knew they were just lines. but this had been going on a yr and so it seemed legit. wrong. so i said to him i wished i would have never answered the phone calls. but i also told him that i was there for him so many times. i would stay up so late just to hear him talk about his problems. i was a friend. he told me the reason why he shut me out completely was because he realized it was wrong of him and he didnt want to continue. ok thats nice but could he have at least told me instead of having me wonder around asking, what just happened here? i told him i guess i was just a test, and it was a cruel one at that. but i admitted that i was just as guilty as him. i put myself in the situation too when i could have just walked away and left it. but i didnt. i fell into it, not completely blind but stupid. yes i was stupid.
as cliche as it may sound, i thought he was different. he wasnt like the other guys at school. but i was wrong. he is just like tha rest of them. to end our conversation last night i said to him, im not going to cry over you, or drag around. i was going to put in it the past and say well it was fun while it lasted. and ive learned from it. i said good luck with your new gf dont do her like you did the last one. you're a good guy deep down, but i had my share and it wasnt right for me. he said he felt really bad and all he could say was sorry because he was a lost for words. of course he was, how can you explain something like that. i wasnt expecting an explantion, i wanted one but mostly i wanted to tell him how i felt. i put up with so much and i never get to put my two cents in, so i was brave and let it all out. so its over and done with. just another guy to add to the list of rejects.
he was a bad kisser anyways. =(