(no subject)
Eric's grandmother had a stroke yesterday morning.
He called me in the afternoon after she slipped into a coma. I left work, jumped into my car and drove out to jersey.. After his sister called to inform us she was brain-dead, he started crying and frantically ripped through his boxes and drawers trying to find a picture of her. He still hasn't healed from the grief of losing his mother & I thanked God that I've never had to deal with such pain. It's as if all that pain came pouring back for him. I didn't quite understand it.
I believe in God, but I don't yet understand death. I know, in this case, ignorance is bliss; but I wonder how I'll be able to deal with losing someone I'm so close to. Of course, I've lost both my grandfathers when I was young, but I didn't quite bond a relationship with them yet. I was a teenager. They were old men to me. My sister lost her best friend when she was 21. My best friend lost her fiancee in the World Trade Center. How do you explain that? or justify *God's will*
Eric was very close to his grandmother and of course she was an old woman.. It's justifiable, but I realize now when you're in love and in a relationship, you take on that other person's grief... be their support system... I realized that as this grown man was holding onto me so tight that it hurt. All I could say was:
'She's going to be with your mother now...'
'She's going to be with her husband now...'
'She had a happy life..'
What bullshit, huh?
I drove back to my parent's house in Long Island around midnight. I'm not yet awake and I have a meeting today at 11:30. Life has to move on, and I wanted so much to stay and grieve with him.
My sister is getting married this weekend. Life just has to move. I get sleepy when I'm not moving. Like yesterday, I was there no more than an hour & I fell asleep in his bed. God bless him, he let me sleep for an hour.
She died this morning. He's doing better & being strong. Thanked me a thousand times for being by his side when he needed me.
Of course I would. I will.. always. That's what you DO when you love someone. I never thought I was strong enough, which is why most of my relationships crumbled in the sight of anything serious
He asked me to marry him.
He called me in the afternoon after she slipped into a coma. I left work, jumped into my car and drove out to jersey.. After his sister called to inform us she was brain-dead, he started crying and frantically ripped through his boxes and drawers trying to find a picture of her. He still hasn't healed from the grief of losing his mother & I thanked God that I've never had to deal with such pain. It's as if all that pain came pouring back for him. I didn't quite understand it.
I believe in God, but I don't yet understand death. I know, in this case, ignorance is bliss; but I wonder how I'll be able to deal with losing someone I'm so close to. Of course, I've lost both my grandfathers when I was young, but I didn't quite bond a relationship with them yet. I was a teenager. They were old men to me. My sister lost her best friend when she was 21. My best friend lost her fiancee in the World Trade Center. How do you explain that? or justify *God's will*
Eric was very close to his grandmother and of course she was an old woman.. It's justifiable, but I realize now when you're in love and in a relationship, you take on that other person's grief... be their support system... I realized that as this grown man was holding onto me so tight that it hurt. All I could say was:
'She's going to be with your mother now...'
'She's going to be with her husband now...'
'She had a happy life..'
What bullshit, huh?
I drove back to my parent's house in Long Island around midnight. I'm not yet awake and I have a meeting today at 11:30. Life has to move on, and I wanted so much to stay and grieve with him.
My sister is getting married this weekend. Life just has to move. I get sleepy when I'm not moving. Like yesterday, I was there no more than an hour & I fell asleep in his bed. God bless him, he let me sleep for an hour.
She died this morning. He's doing better & being strong. Thanked me a thousand times for being by his side when he needed me.
Of course I would. I will.. always. That's what you DO when you love someone. I never thought I was strong enough, which is why most of my relationships crumbled in the sight of anything serious
He asked me to marry him.