Title: The Belted Doctor, Epilogue
Author:
tkel_paris, aka KendraC
Rating: High T, borderline M for (very) naughty humor, and some hints... Consider yourself warned.
Summary: A crack!fic inspired by a line from “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” and run for its life with. The Doctor is left with a very uncomfortable “protection” against unwanted advances. But will he find the one who is foretold to release him from his... prison?
Disclaimer: Mel Brooks owns “Men in Tights.” The BBC and others own “Doctor Who.” 'Nuff said.
Author's Note: And so this is the end of the Belt challenge that
bas_math_girl and I issued to each other. For the answers raised by this and a few earlier chapters, please look for “Legacy,” the missing scene from this story. It'll be listed on FF.N under the characters Wilf and Jenny, because they will be the driving forces behind it.
(sighs) My first Who baby is complete... It's been an interesting ride learning the very basics of a new fandom, but I'm not done yet. After posting “Legacy,” my next fic will be inspired by the upcoming production of “Much Ado About Nothing.” Can't you hear the Doctor/Donna fans squeeing...? Or the Muses getting into gear...?
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18 EPILOGUE: LAST GIFTS
A blonde infant crawled her way out of the nursery toward the Console Room. All of the shiny things her parents used to take them to all sorts of fun places! Everyday she wanted to touch! To go somewhere of her choosing!
Not today, though. She needed to tell them something. So focused, she didn't see the shadow of another blond appear in the doorway.
“Flumena Abigail Noble!” Uh, oh! Big sister saw her... Better stay still...
Footsteps hurried over, and Jenny scooped her into her arms. “We just adjusted that crib yesterday,” she grumbled aloud, pushing her loose hair (with the front held back in a manner that Donna often favored) away from her eyes. “You shouldn't have been able to escape again!”
The future River Song, named slightly differently because her parents were concerned that someone might target her before she could protect herself, looked into her sister's eyes. “Dah-dis elpd.”
A loud groan came from the Console Room. James slowly walked into view, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his neck. He looked up at the ceiling in disgust. “Why are you helping her? It just causes us more headaches!”
TARDIS sounded sorry, but her words didn't calm anyone. The poor dear had a nightmare that's connected to what's happening on Earth. She needed to tell you something, and you were all distracted.
That snapped everyone's head up. Even Donna Belle, who was sitting on the Jump Seat and being attended to by Sylvia for a nausea attack. An attack that had convinced the Doctor that the words coming through the Psychic Paper might be true.
They were all visiting Sylvia and Donna Belle. Wilf had gone off somewhere after mentioning a nightmare - although Sylvia knew nothing about the details. Just that it had frightened Wilf into visiting a church he'd never gone to before. The Doctor recognized the name, having once been there and saving the nuns there - several centuries ago in Earth-time.
Then he got the sense that someone was contacting him. He whipped out the Psychic Paper, and found a message: Get the family off Earth now. I'll look after Wilf.
His shock, and umbrage, was obvious to everyone - except the sleeping Flumena. Who dared to tell him what to do - if their name wasn't Donna Noble?!
More came through: I didn't believe it when I got this message, ____, but I did when I realized that Donna Belle was pregnant.
The combined sight of his own name and the assertion had him reeling. A quick scan with the Sonic Screwdriver (over the loud protests of “What are you doing, Spaceman?!) confirmed the Paper's claim - after Donna Belle had suddenly thrown up for no obvious reason.
He promptly rushed everyone - including Donna's dog - into the TARDIS, and sent it to the Moon. Safe enough, he hoped, from whatever was happening and yet close enough to keep tabs. Though he hated having to stand by and let something awful happen - especially if he couldn't see why he couldn't do the saving.
The bond hadn't hid any of his reaction, or the message, from his Donna. She'd wondered, Who could possibly be sending the message? An older River? A future one of us?
He'd sighed as they fiddled with the controls, having just informed the expectant parents. Only the shared joy - seeping through the mutual shock - had stopped the Doctor from giving his “brother” a slap upside the head on general principle. Sylvia, evidently, had been practically expecting something like this, so James was safe from her - for now. River had clearly never used my name before that moment in the Library. She hated having to do it, I can see that now. No, it... It has to be a future me.
That had shocked her. What could draw the you in the future to cross your own time-line?
Something very bad, he told her. And it might kill him... Especially if it's me... after you're gone...
It was the one thing they tried to avoid thinking about. Donna was still human, even if having his children was clearly changing her biology to bear Time-Lords and her brain to adjust to the Time-Lord consciousness. Which meant that one day - which they prayed was a long ways off - she would die and leave him. The fractured bond would leave a gaping whole in his psyche, and he'd heard of bonded Gallifreyans rapidly using up any remaining regenerations because the pain was too great to deal with.
So Donna was doing everything she could think of to give him reasons to go on. She made sure she was ready to have all those children hinted at in the limerick, that she would keep their bedroom... lively... or whatever state their moods dictated. Anything for her Doctor...
Which also meant keeping their children as in the dark as possible for as long as possible; no need to unnecessarily worry them. So they'd put little Flumena into her playpen so they could think. And, obviously, they needed to chat with the TARDIS about letting her out practically every time... They had a feeling their daughter would be an escape artist as an adult.
The Doctor sighed loudly. “Bring her over here.” Jenny was relieved to do so, and once she did, he cradled the baby in his arms. “It's all right, little love,” he soothed. “We'll figure this out.”
Flumena shook her head. “Na u. Na us.”
He frowned, and decided to take a step he hadn't wanted to take with any child of his at this age. He touched his free fingers to specific points on River's head. He closed his eyes and said, “Show me your bad dream, sweetheart.”
She closed her eyes, trying to remember the scary images. And was very puzzled when her father suddenly cut the connection once he saw the man whose face was strangely on every person.
Oh, Rassilon, not this! He had to hand the baby off to Lee, who was the only person not doing something at that moment, and go check the readings. Jenny beat him to voicing the horrible reality. “Dad, the life-signs on Earth are all wrong! It's like there's over six billion of the same life-sign!”
He blurted it out: “Because the Master has somehow returned!”
Only James and Donna reacted with the appropriate horror. Sylvia broke the silence almost immediately, demanding to know, “Who's the Master?”
The Doctor promptly answered, “A Time-Lord who's been causing me headaches and grief for a long time. Who I once considered my friend. He's tried taking over worlds, including Earth and even Gallifrey. I'd thought he'd died during the Time-War.”
“Until,” Donna picked up the thread, “about two years ago. The Master came to Earth as Harold Saxon.”
Sylvia gasped. She remembered wondering how that man had died, and where he'd come from. “What happened?”
To let the Doctor and James think, Donna managed a summary of The Year That Never Was, and that awful time where the Master had the TARDIS. Lee was also alarmed by the whole story, and by the evident disagreement over what could be done since the Master effectively controlled the entire planet.
Including an arsenal of weapons that could destroy the TARDIS if they weren't careful...
So hearing the TARDIS phone ring was a shock. No one wanted to answer it; the odds of it being someone other than the Master seemed dim. Donna made herself look at the screen, and felt a glimmer of hope. She pressed for speakerphone, and tried for levity. “Time Lords, Inc.”
Before anyone could roll their eyes, an exasperated groan came through the phone. “Where the hell are you?!” The American accent was never more welcome than that moment.
“Jack!” More than one voice exclaimed in relief. Donna asked, “Are you all right?”
“Oh,” came a rather sharp retort, “I'm fine. My team, however, isn't. Had to knock them all unconscious when they suddenly all got the same face. Only person missing is Mickey, who agreed to help monitor what I think is behind all of this.” He quickly explained how a Joshua Naismith had put enormous pressure on Torchwood to let him develop one of the technologies they'd acquired. Jack and his team wouldn't have - except the potential for medical advances had generated other peoples' interest, and the mess with the 456 had nearly destroyed Torchwood Cardiff. Which had forced them to empty some of their stash and give in to Naismith's demands, which hadn't pleased any of them. So Jack felt some major responsibility about the situation. Then he demanded, “Doctor, how the hell can the Master be alive? I saw his body destroyed after he chose to not regenerate.”
The Doctor sighed loudly. He launched into a rant that - to Donna's ears - amounted to how he knew basically nothing, and about the message from what he thought was his future. The resulting debate involved him, Jack, and James going back and forth on options.
None of which, Donna knew, could work; they didn't know enough and the stakes were too high. She shared an annoyed look with her mother, sister, and elder daughter, rolling her eyes at the male immaturity on rampant display.
Naturally, the Doctor sensed her thoughts, and protested. “Oi! We're not whining!”
“No,” Donna Belle shot back, “but you are acting like teenagers with that posturing! Pull yourselves together before I pull myself off this seat and slap all of you!”
Before any of the men could protest, the alarms went off. Jenny was closest to the readouts, and her jaw dropped. “Oh, my God... That's completely impossible...”
James looked at her screen, and his own jaw dropped in horror. “But that's... that's Gallifrey!”
An image of the Doctor's home-world was displayed by holographic display for everyone to see. The famous planet was appearing in the sky above Earth. Jenny nearly shouted. “How the hell could he pull an entire world out of the Time-Lock?!”
“That crack!” James' part-human mind was putting pieces together. “The one left from the mess with the planets! It must have allowed a two-way connection between the Master and Gallifrey.”
The Doctor shook his head. “You'd need something to facilitate the connection. Something to power some engine to draw Gallifrey out.”
Donna, checking another set of readings, saw the answer. “What about a gem only found on Gallifrey? Something like that appeared in the sky a little bit ago, and fell to Earth.”
When the Doctor saw that scan, another rapid discussion started. This time, Donna and Jenny participated as much - although trying to keep the ideas within some reasonable boundaries.
They were at it for a while, until a scream came out of nowhere, from a voice the Doctor hadn't heard in a long time: “Falling! Gallifrey falls!”
“The Visionary,” he breathed as the hologram showed Gallifrey slowly disappearing from view - the reverse of how it appeared. It still hurt to see his home-world be destroyed, hurt to not be able to walk on it one last time, but what other option was there...?
Donna felt a huge weight come off everyone's shoulders, even as she saw and felt the renewed grief from the Doctor and James. “The Time-Lock is re-establishing itself. The crack will be sealed, never to open again.” Then she noticed the readings. “And whatever the Master did to Earth has been undone. Human life-signs are back!” She looked up in joy. “Whatever... he... did worked!”
The occupants cheered and exclaimed their relief. Especially since the readings were suggesting that it was all over, that Earth was safe. Though TARDIS said they should wait a bit longer before going back.
Once the ship was willing to cooperate (which took a lot longer than anyone expected), they landed just outside the Noble home. Sylvia heaved the biggest sigh of relief upon walking on Terra Firma again, though she looked around as much as anyone at the people checking each other and yammering about a horrible living nightmare. “How are we going to explain this one,” she asked. “This isn't going to involve a cover-up, will it?”
Donna sighed. “I don't know if Earth is ready to deal with this kind event. Might need Sarah Jane and Torchwood Cardiff to put out some cover story”
Anything else that might've been said was cut off as Wilf slowly exited the front door. His girls immediately swarmed him to check on him, leaving the three TARDIS men by the ship. Although they quickly noted how Wilf took extra time to clutch Jenny and then Flumena - and how he also looked into the former's eyes and murmured, “My brave little soldier.”
When the men reached them, Wilf pulled the Doctor into a tight hug - startling him to no end. It only confirmed his growing suspicion: that Wilf witnessed his final moments (whether this regeneration's, or the final one's), and an older Jenny - who was presumably a widow by then - had been there. Maybe River was there, too. So Carmen was right; his song had ended, and yet he had a long life still ahead of him. He deliberately didn't ask any questions; the less he knew about his future, the better - so he shut his mind off to trying to read anyone's thoughts, except for Donna.
He'd had enough of spoilers for his future when he first met River, thank you very much...
Another wedding, but not his own - never again.
The Doctor hadn't realized just how close his brother and his wife's sister had grown, even with the news of a baby, but he hadn't expected to see James follow in his footsteps and take on the title of Mr. Donna Noble. Sure, the two been brilliant in stopping the 456, and saving Jack's grandson. Though the Doctor still wondered whether anyone with so much of himself in them could stand staying on Earth for such an extended time.
Emotions were much more complicated than I'd thought, he realized, and I clearly still know next to nothing about them. Thank Rassilon that I have my own Donna to steer me right... and explain how James could be turning out so differently from the both of us...
This time, he handled the unease about his past by keeping his senses on alert for threats. Which he'd been unable to do last time. Why the Universe decided to make this a calm day for him and his family, he'd never know. He wasn't going to argue over it, but it baffled him nonetheless.
Still, a few images would stand out from this day. The sight of Donna Belle looking not only radiant but at peace (despite the continued gravity to her joy which made it easier for others to tell her and Donna apart) in her wedding gown - which was cut to conceal the rapidly growing baby bump caused by twins. (The Doctor was so looking forward to watching his twin deal with fatherhood...) Flumena actually acting like the angel she looked like while held by various people. Donna expertly guiding everyone through their parts, herself glowing with recently discovered knowledge...
And of course, Wilf handing Donna Belle an envelope, with a wistful smile. “Let's just say,” he'd said, “that the future reached to your dad for help with this one.” Once it was revealed as a lottery ticket, the Doctor and Donna knew that his future self had been the one to borrow a quid off Donna's late father, and had gifted a guaranteed winner. Knowing how Donna had always regretted not being able to set aside money for Wilf's care, it was incredibly thoughtful to reduce one worry.
Although, had that changed the... past? The future? Or was it always part of his time-line?
They'd never know. But he was sure that his final self had been busy. The man who'd saved Luke from his own teenage stupidity, and Martha and Mickey from a Sontaran, had to be the thirteenth him. How else would that man have known the people he'd helped, or known when they needed saving? He wouldn't, couldn't leave his friends behind after Donna's influence...
Though the Doctor would never again tempt fate by asking questions that might as well be famous last words, he couldn't help but sigh in relief as he caught Donna in a moment between directing people just after the ceremony. And voice a growing worry as he pulled her into his arms from behind. “Please promise you'll talk our children into having small weddings,” he whispered. “I can't stomach the thought of going through anything massive again.”
Donna snickered, taking his hands in hers nonetheless. “You should know by now that any kid of ours will be fiercely independent by that point. Besides,” she added sweetly, turning her head to meet his eyes, “what happens when you actually make plans, Sunshine?”
He tried to scowl, but it didn't last longer than a few seconds. “Thanks for the reminder.” He took the sting she might feel out by moving their entwined hands to over her still mostly flat belly. “You are okay with having another one so soon? It doesn't feel like we're...” he had to recall her phrase from finding out about Romana's limerick “...rodents...?”
“Nah,” she said, after reflecting on the question for a few moments. “More like... bunnies. That's close enough to multiplying. Trust me: we'll be fine together with this crazy, twisted relationships family we have. Even if we have a zoo to look after.”
He thought the zoo analogy might be frighteningly appropriate given the people who made up their extended family... Not that he had anything to complain about; there were only certain type of slaps he wanted to receive...
“Besides,” she added, turning in his arms, “I want to give you as many reasons to be happy as possible. And although I hear children are the most difficult things that ever happen to you, they're also the most amazing. So even if I keep having to stay on the TARDIS while you're off saving some world, I'll live. After all, I know Jenny will likely be with you, and - being female and having imprinted on me - she's automatically more sensible than you are.”
The Doctor groaned with a closed mouth, but pulled her into a hug and kiss nonetheless. When Donna's insults had become something he couldn't imagine living without, he'd never be able to say. But he was perfectly content to be a verbal punching bag when necessary.
Yep, he thought, Jack can call me whipped if he wants. I think the man can't believe I got so lucky...
As though his thoughts had power, Jack's voice floated over. “Come on, you two. Only couple allowed to publicly canoodle today is the newlyweds.”
Donna broke the kiss,tilting her forehead against her husband's, and laughed. “Oh, that's rich coming from you, Jack! Don't think I didn't see you snog Ianto at my wedding!”
The Doctor didn't need to open his eyes; he could hear the answering smirk. “That's different.”
He also could feel Donna rolling her eyes. “Of course, because you're involved. That's like when my husband claims it's only okay for him to talk bullocks. Which he does speak fluently, mind you.”
The Doctor laughed. He'd stop the debate soon, but it was just one more reminder of his new normal. And he didn't mind it at all...
Though he would have to find out what had made Jenny, Sylvia, and Donna Belle suddenly burst out laughing, and Wilf groan in obvious embarrassment. That sounded entertaining...
THE END