NEW: A Tempting Trope (complete)
Title: A Tempting Trope
Rating: T
Author: tkel_paristkel_paris, aka KendraC
Genre: cliche
Summary: An overnight adventure forces Ten and Donna to share a bed. Can you say awkward...? Or perhaps... something else...?
Dedication: to sykirasykira, for her birthday
Disclaimer: This is too... intimate... to have ever been shown on Doctor Who. At least, the Who that DT grew up watching. Can't speak to SM's version... Not that sykira would want me to; she said she's not fond of the post-Ten Whoverse. Of course, it's far tamer than what's been seen on Torchwood!
Author's Note: In the midst of worrying about the wind, dryness, low humidity, and wildfires near where I live, I decided to give my on-line friend a little treat for her birthday. (I'm safe for now, BTW...) I'm thrilled she got to see MAAN in person! Wish I could've been there to enjoy it with her and basmathgirl! Along with all the rest of the D/D fans I've encountered on-line...!
Say hello to what nearly turned into my first adult DW story... My muse almost wanted to take it there with this prompt that sykira handed me... but I decided it was more important to finish quickly. Of course... sykira did ask me to write a smutty sequel... It'll take me a few months to write, as it'll be a first for me. Haven't written anything like smut in several years... I'm being lured over to the dark side...!
Happy belated birthday, sykira!
“Okay,” the Doctor muttered under his breath as he eyed the room, “this will be awkward...”
He and Donna had to stay overnight on their current adventure, to help solve the latest disaster that the TARDIS detected. And Donna, being human, needed rest. So the locals had been kind enough to offer a modest accommodation for them. Emphasis on modest...
“You obviously don't know what awkward is, Sunshine! That bed is the only acceptable sleeping surface here, and look how small it is!”
Donna's words re-enforced his nerves. It was barely big enough for two people. “I can manage without sleep,” he protested quietly, not comfortable with how... not uncomfortable he was at the thought of sharing a bed with his best mate...
She gave him her special version of an evil glare. “I know you! You'll be up tinkering the room with that Sonic and I'll have trouble sleeping! Nope, Spaceman, you're going into that bed with me and trying to sleep! You're exhausted from all that running and putting out fires today. So don't try that 'I'm all right' crap on me!”
Blimey. She knew him too well.. It was good that she didn't know how he'd felt compelled to convince their current hosts that - despite whatever they heard said earlier - he and Donna were a couple. A few men had looked rather too long at her, with far too much interest... and he'd wanted - for the first time in his life - to throw some punches. Really, this him hated violence and avoided it at every chance. So what was driving him...?
It reminded him of how often he'd thought about Donna between their first meeting and that fateful night at Adipose Industries. How he'd felt guilty about thinking so much about her when he thought he was supposed to be grieving over losing Rose. Which he had...
Except it seemed to fade a lot sooner than he'd expected, even for a Time Lord. And Donna... She made him feel things he couldn't even begin to explain. And he hadn't wanted to explain Donna to Martha, so it was safer to cling to Rose's memory whenever Donna crossed his mind.
And look how well that had turned out... He'd broken Martha's heart before she'd pulled herself together and gotten over him. Of course, his being a arse to her probably helped...
He only hoped that Rose had managed what Martha had...
Of course, now that he had Donna alone with him in a room that apparently was meant for a couple on a stopover... Oh, Rassilon, am I sweating...?
Donna sighed. “Well, I'm tired. So let's get ready. And you are not sleeping in that entire suit! Jacket and shoes had better come off, but you'd better leave some clothing on!”
He blushed. He was positive that she wasn't thinking along the lines, but the last time anyone had hinted about the possibility of him sleeping... in the buff, it was - of course - Jack. And really, it was too much to hope that she'd change her mind about him; she'd made her opinion on his attractiveness plain that moment outside the TARDIS. So he sighed. “So what now?”
She went into the small bathroom, calling behind her, “I'll just be a moment, and then you can have it to get rid of whatever you choose. I'll already be in bed.”
The Doctor blushed again, grateful that she'd been looking away. As observant about people as she'd proved herself to be, she was rather oblivious about how others looked upon her. Maybe after Lance, she'd decided she didn't care. Which made the Doctor want to find ways to boost Donna's confidence - without accidentally giving her reason to leave him.
Meanwhile, Donna suppressed a groan over this twist of fate. Once again the universe wanted to rub it in her face that no one - not even in the future - could believe that a man and a woman could travel together and not be together. “I gave up on being married to travel with him,” she muttered as she peeled off her jacket. “To make a difference. Can't you let up on us? It's not like anything would happen! He's still bonkers over that girl he lost!”
What made talking to herself like this necessary was how the Doctor looked at her. Especially when he thought she was being brilliant. It was almost like she was the most important woman in the universe... But she knew better. She was his friend. He'd said he just wanted a mate - and not what she'd thought she'd heard - and she suspected that if he ever found a way to get Rose back, she'd be stuck playing gooseberry.
Which hurt. The way those looks made her feel? It was messing with her head. And she wondered what would be the final straw before she made the mistake Martha had; she could feel it coming, and so she tried provoking him, to remind herself of his less desirable traits. She'd tried focusing on his recklessness, but she noted that he toned that down in response to her criticisms. She laughed at his verbosity, but - she soon remembered - she could talk just as much, so she was only critiquing herself. And that oral fixation of his? Well, thinking about that led to thoughts that made her need... quality time...
Really, it was like she couldn't win! Spaceman was getting on her thoughts, and creeping into her dreams. It wasn't fair that he could be so unaffected, but... she was just Donna Noble. A temp... At least he saw her for her, so maybe there was someone else who would, too...
She decided she'd better wait to remove her trousers until he was taking his turn in the loo. Probably would save them both a lot of embarrassment. So Donna rushed through her routine and washed her hands. She burst back into the room. “All yours,” she declared brightly. Maybe a little too brightly...
The Doctor wished he could do something to make her feel better than wouldn't involve getting him slapped. But he was at a total loss. He'd shed his jacket and tie and shoes, putting them in a corner that he decided she'd leave alone. She probably didn't want their clothing mingling, either... Sighing, he went in - suspecting that it was more for her sense of staying decent than whatever concern she had for him. Which, he felt, probably wasn't much in this case... “Let me know when I can come back out,” he said as he went in. Might as well take care of the basics... “And I'm staying closer to the door,” he declared. Not letting anyone get near her...
Donna noticed that her Martian Boy was being awfully quiet. And it had been getting worse since they left the 1920s. Sometimes it seemed like he wasn't quite sure how to act around her after she'd decided that the best shock would be to kiss him. If she hadn't been so sure of his attachment to Rose Tyler, she might've been very confused by how he'd looked at her once he'd expelled that cloud... The staying between her and possible danger part? Well, that was just Spaceman being protective of his friends. Nothing more.
Shaking off the memories, once the door closed, she quickly stepped out of her trousers and shoes - and pulled off the classic woman's trick of removing a bra without completely disrobing. She idly wondered if the Doctor had ever seen that act before, and giggled at the silly idea of him being as baffled by it as Earth men could be. Shaking off thoughts that wouldn't help her sleep, she swiftly got under the sheets - which were strangely soft and inviting - and on her back.
Oi, she thought, someone had kinky ideas when they made this room! Trying to get people to be only up to one thing if they aren't sleeping?!
Mentally slapping herself, Donna braced herself for the night ahead. “All set,” she called out, hoping it sounded better than some of the phrases she could've used but didn't because she wanted to actually get some sleep and not be so embarrassed that her face would try to match her hair color.
The Doctor slowly opened the door, having reluctantly removed his trousers and belt. He kept the shirt on, not even undoing any buttons for ease. After all, he had to share a bed with the woman who made it clear she thought of him as too skinny for her taste. He wasn't about to give her more ammunition for teasing. Really, it was better that she had no expectations of him romantically.
Wasn't it...?
Donna's eyes flickered over, meaning a quick check that he'd listened to her earlier demands, but they fixed on a sight that made her burst into laughter. “I knew your time fixation would show up in weird ways!”
The Doctor sighed. He'd forgotten that he'd chosen the fob-watches boxer-briefs today. “For the record, Donna Noble, I wouldn't make fun of your undergarment choices, even if I knew what they were,” he snapped as he tossed his things over that corner holding the rest. “Any other insults you've got for me before you nod off?!”
Hmm... Spaceman's getting a little testy when I make fun of him. What's his problem? He didn't use to mind! Donna shook off the thoughts and swallowed her laughter. “Not for now,” she promised, though she figured she'd be mentally smirking for a while over the image. Although when she glanced further down and noted his runner's legs... Well, she didn't want to focus on how becoming they were... She averted her eyes, glad his own weren't focusing but instead rolling in exasperation, and pat beside her. “Let's see what we're dealing with tonight...”
Sighing, the Doctor braced for one of the most awkward nights of his life - if not the most - and slowly got into bed. He made sure she could see what he was doing because he didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable than she already had to be. He sometimes worried that Donna had been taken advantage of physically in the past, and the only reason he didn't dare ask was because he was afraid of how he might react if his fears were right. And he hoped he was just being overprotective...
Donna noticed how careful he was being to not touch her, but there was something in his eyes that said he was keeping aware of where her hands were. She groaned. “Unless your hands like to wander when you're unconscious, you're safe from slaps, Sunshine.”
Grimacing, the Doctor raised a skeptical eyebrow at her before turning his back toward her and trying to lie on his side. He wondered how some humans managed to endure hardships with all this comfort around them. Of course, maybe his was the view that was biased; young Gallifreyans endured a lot in the Academy...
Not for the first time, Donna could see him folding in on himself. Withdrawing... from the universe. Did I say something I shouldn't have... again? “You know, Spaceman, pulling away from me is a surefire way of keeping me awake. What's wrong this time?”
The Doctor silently cursed in Gallifreyan. Can't put a lot past her... He sighed. “I don't think you want to hear this one, Donna. I don't think I'm ready to explain it. Not even to myself.”
Oh, this is bad... Donna thought about rolling toward him, but didn't want to make him uneasy. “Not used to sharing a bed with anyone...?”
He blushed, grateful that she couldn't see it. “No...” An uncomfortable memory pushed forward, one he'd tried to bury...
Donna narrowed her eyes. There's a story there... “The last time wasn't good, hmm?”
He grumbled through a closed mouth, knowing he wasn't getting out of telling it. “When Martha and I met Shakespeare, we had to share a room with only one bed. It was... Well, this is positively pleasant by comparison.” That seemed safer to say than what he really thought... “I made the mistake of commenting about Rose... while lying on the bed with Martha.” He knew the criticisms wouldn't take long...
“Oi!” Donna kept her voice down, but not the offense she felt on Martha's behalf. “God, she'd have good reason to hate you! You don't bring up an old girlfriend like that! And that was only her first adventure with you!”
The Doctor flinched. “Yeah... I guess I owe her an apology for that... Among other things...”
“Too right, you Prawn!” Donna shook her head. “Anyone else you confused like that in bed?”
“No.” At least it was the truth. “This is only the second time I've shared a bed. Sleeping quarters weren't even shared on Gallifrey. Not even at the Academy; they didn't want the students forming unseemly attachments.”
Donna thought to all the jokes she and her school mates made about the boarding schools for boys, and what sorts of... experimenting... had been going on there... Those would be probably be very inappropriate right now, she thought, but what can I do to help him...? Realizing that as long as he faced away from her, she couldn't be completely sure what he might be holding back. Deciding to take a risk, she asked, “Would it help if I hugged you from behind?”
He blinked, and risked looking over his shoulder to just barely meet her eyes. “How do you do that?”
Okay, Donna thought with raised brows, he can't possibly be that naïve... “Like this.” She rolled toward him and wrapped an arm around him, resting the hand over his hearts as she pulled herself against his back. His body temperature was cooler than a human's, but it wasn't unpleasantly so... She made herself not think about that; he needed to be reassured, to be bolstered against whatever demons were bothering him now...
The Doctor froze at the new experience. Did people actually sleep like this...?! He began to grasp that if you cared so very deeply about someone, this could be rather lovely. He felt something gather in his eyes, a feeling he hadn't had since he'd gone too far and sent Rose that goodbye message - something he now questioned whether he should've done... And he felt something else that seemed to come from his chest, and it wasn't his increasing hearts-rate...
Donna noted that detail under her hand and through his back, but decided to wait to mention it; they might calm after a moment. “Is this okay?”
To the Doctor, Donna's body had always felt nice to be against. There was a softness to it that made her hugs so much more enjoyable than the ones any other companion gave. And such a comforting warmth! He wondered if keeping it up was why she always thought it was too cold in the TARDIS... He swallowed before he could speak. “It's... quite lovely, actually...”
He sounds shocked... Donna tried to puzzle that out, but realized that she had no clue what her alien friend really went through as a child. “Did no one ever hug you when you were younger? Or at any time before you started traveling...?”
“No,” he whispered. The words tumbled out before he could stop them, just like a lot of things did around Donna Noble. “Our society frowned on attachments of any kind. I think my granddaughter traveled with me because she worried about whether I could take care of myself... until she fell in love...”
Donna was stunned. She whispered, “I had no idea you lived so long without knowing any kind of love...” It seemed like her own mother was positively loving by comparison...
He swallowed again, trying to withdraw. “It's all right. Hard to miss what you never knew.”
“But you always sensed that you needed something more than what you got...”
Damn, he hated it when she got super observant of his needs, his secret wishes. Well, he told himself that he hated it. Really, he had no idea how to react... Especially because she never held it against him that he had a person's feelings and wishes, that she knew it wasn't healthy for him to carry the weight of all of time on his shoulders. Not going to cry, he told himself sternly.
Donna could feel him tremble, and realized she'd hit a nerve. She tightened the hug briefly. “Did you ever have a real relationship with anyone?”
He buried his face into the pillow. “You mean like a human would measure it?” Oh, did he feel the Lonely God label now...
His whisper broke her heart. “Then the answer's no...?” How can anyone live like that...? “There was never anyone who you wanted to be in a relationship with?”
Oh, trust her to hit on the question he most wanted her to not ask... because if he answered it, it'd all be over...
She had to add, curiosity getting the better of her, “Not even Rose?”
Now he could scoff, proving how far he'd come since Bad Wolf Bay. “She was too young.”
Donna snorted. She couldn't help it. “Well, you're over 900 years old! We'd all be too young for you!”
“Not absolute age! Relative age!” He sighed, trying to find the words to express his thoughts. “I didn't see how young she was even for a human. How she wasn't yet an adult in any true sense. Not until after I realized that she had come to want more from me than I could ever give her. I mucked that up so much, messed up her life, and I didn't know until after it was too late! She might even still think that I felt more than I ever did...”
Oh, my God... “But she did mean something to you, right?”
He sniffled, trying to suppress tears of guilt - which he now knew was what his eyes were dropping back then. “She saved my life during that first adventure. I guess I got a sort of hero worship crush, strengthened by my fondness of her innocence. I thought she'd tamed the fires within me, but I realize now that she allowed me to ignore them. And it all led me to be unfair to Martha...” If he weren't keeping his hands tightly by his side, he'd face-palm himself.
And there's no room for growth in a relationship built upon hero worship, Donna knew. It's the case of the Idol and the Fan. If either changes, the other isn't needed anymore... So when he regenerated into this current self, he started to not need Rose... and neither of them saw it happening... She thought back to the question he still hadn't answered. “But was there someone who you were willing to take those risks for? That you wanted to get closer to?”
The Doctor gulped. “No,” he whispered firmly, hoping she bought the lie.
Donna's eyes narrowed. That was it! She pulled back enough for room to use her hand on his chest to force him onto his back.
He gasped, and gaped when he met her angry eyes. Oh, Rassilon, he was in big trouble!
“I can hear that you're lying, Spaceman,” Donna ground out, trying to keep her voice low. It made her sound very dangerous. “I know you hate talking about your feelings, but this is eating you from the inside. Who is she? Or is it a he?”
The Doctor closed his eyes tightly. An avoidance tactic, he knew, but I can't meet her eyes when she figures this one out. And she will... so no point in prolonging the inevitable... “It doesn't matter, Donna,” he choked out. “She doesn't want me. She's made that very clear... and I won't disrespect her wishes. She's had too many people not respect those...” He trailed off on a whisper, not trusting himself to hold anything else back...
Donna blinked at his tight, nervous expression. He's afraid of me figuring this one out? Why should he be so worried? And who besides me would possibly - ? And the light-bulb went off for her. All those looks... All that protectiveness... The growing hesitation over correcting people who think we're a couple... “How long, Spaceman...?”
The open curiosity, and lack of anger, made him open his eyes in shock. “What?!”
She just blinked, not quite believing her conclusion. “How long have you felt this way...?” Could I be imagining things...? Except his already hyper hearts-rate was increasing yet again...
One hand was still over his hearts. The other was propping her up to stare at him. For the moment he was safe from a slap... He sighed and sank into the bed. She'll hound me until I lay all my cards out. And I have to keep my words simple, too... “It might've started from that rooftop when you first smiled genuinely at me. I'd already been struck by your beauty - and it didn't all stem from you being a ginger! - and at that moment, I sensed that there was something extraordinary about you. And I knew that I'd treasure you if I were going to be your husband.”
Donna's jaw dropped. He looked and sounded completely sincere... And when it came to feelings, she knew that he was absolute rubbish at lying... Her heart-rate increased in response.
“I didn't understand why I was so devastated when you told me no,” he slowly continued. “I thought it was because I did, like you said, need someone and I thought that someone had been dropped into my life by chance. But I missed you - slaps and all - in that time up to Adipose Industries. I was considering stopping to see you, to see if you could be talked into traveling with me, when we met again.”
“Then,” Donna whispered, “why did you go off about what happened with Martha? Not exactly the best way to sell yourself to anyone, Sunshine...” Her mind couldn't quite accept the idea...
He closed his eyes and rubbed his face with his one free hand. The other was trapped the sides of their stomachs, and he was keeping that one perfectly still... “I was confused. You get me that way a lot, Donna... and I really thought that all I needed was a mate...” He trailed off, realizing that he was about to admit to something that could really put her off, and blushed. I'm very glad that my people kept a lot about us private; Jack would never have left this alone...
Whenever her Spaceman got embarrassed by something, it was sure to be a good story. Of course, this one might be a little awkward for both of them... “And...? What were you going to say?”
He cleared his throat. Should've known... “Gallifreyans have been using this technology called looms to make new life for millenia, Donna. With one exception, and that happened to a former companion and a Citadel Guard, there hasn't been a natural-born Gallifreyan since the looms were created. I...” He gulped, and whispered the rest: “I don't know anything practical about how to mate...” And to a human, he thought, that might be the least believable part... So he closed his eyes again, wanting to hide under a rock. Or anything that would protect him from the slap that had to be coming...
Donna blinked repeatedly, processing his words. He's telling the absolute truth... “So when you said you had to do that more often, you really weren't talking about detox, were you...?”
He felt like a pair of daggers were just waiting to stab him in his hearts. “I wanted to know what it would've been like without the detox part,” he whispered. “If you'd actually wanted to kiss me... But I have so little practical knowledge about even that... I was sure you wouldn't like it if I had ever gotten the nerve to kiss you...”
That made her eyes widen... and her heart twist as it beat even faster. Her poor mate... A complete innocent in so many ways of the universe... She wouldn't have believed it possible. That someone so amazing could want her...
The Doctor waited for a slap, a reprimand, some sharp words. Something to rebuke him for daring to feel the way he did...
But Donna wasn't inclined to hit him. He'd been doing that mentally to himself enough times, clearly! No, she was reeling from the shock of the disclosure. And her willingness to table her own discomfort to help others allowed her to swallow and make her own soft admission: “Well, I guess kissing would be the only physical area where I'd have more practice than you... And it's not like my relationship history is anything to brag about...”
The lack of what he'd been expecting stunned the Doctor into silence. Then his mind started processing what Donna did say, and what she didn't outright say... He opened his eyes slowly, and saw complete sincerity in her face and eyes. “But... you said you lived with Lance...”
Donna's lips twisted into a wry smile. “Yeah, well, I guess I was lucky in that he claimed he wanted to wait. I know he was really keeping me dosed, but I wanted to believe so badly.” She shook her head to make the memory go away for now, and then looked softly down at her best friend - who, she could now admit to herself, was actually quite an attractive person. “What do you want us to do, Doctor?”
He blinked. She wasn't angry... She was... giving him the go-ahead?! “I... I don't have a clue what your boundaries are anymore, Donna. I don't want to make you uneasy...”
Aw... She kept that reaction within her head. “How about you claim that kiss you spoke about? I'm sure you and your oral fixation will learn what to do...” She gave him a coy smile as she brought her head down close - but far enough that he'd need to move to press their lips together.
The Doctor, if not for the complete openness of Donna's expression, would've stared in shock. But he couldn't let this opportunity slip away. He reached up to gently touch her cheek, and lifted his head to softly kiss her.
Donna let him slowly explore, and she responded to encourage him. She never thought sweet would be something she'd like in a kiss, but she found his innocence strangely refreshing - although his eagerness to learn about what she liked was far more pleasing... Especially as she slowly deepened the kiss - soon forcing them to lean back against his pillow as neither was quite willing to stop. Her tongue invited his - and that part of him had invaded her dreams more times than she was willing to admit to at present - to do its own exploring, with some guidance. Wanting more contact, she lifted her body enough to coax his other arm into wrapping around her waist, and he was all-too willing to hold her closer - even tangling a hand in her hair.
Even he'd lost all track of time when they had to part - so she could breathe. But even he was panting; the respiratory bypass hadn't quite kicked in. His lips quirked into the goofiest grin that he'd ever had on his face, and he knew she'd never looked more beautiful than she did with her lightly flushed cheeks and brighter-than-usual eyes.
She beamed back at him, noticing that his look was a combination of the sweetness from when he “biodamped” her and that awe after the detox. Mixed with a bit of gratitude and shock. It made him look even more adorable. She stroked his crazy hair. “Let's get some sleep, Spaceman,” she whispered fondly. “Once we've figured out this mess,” she added as she settled into a cuddle that he was returning in a daze, “we can go back to your ship and... decide how we want to explore some more new frontiers for us both.”
He wasn't sure what that meant, as his mind was considerably addled from the new sensations. But he couldn't wait to find out what she meant!
To be continued... in “ Their Quest for Experience”
Rating: T
Author: tkel_paristkel_paris, aka KendraC
Genre: cliche
Summary: An overnight adventure forces Ten and Donna to share a bed. Can you say awkward...? Or perhaps... something else...?
Dedication: to sykirasykira, for her birthday
Disclaimer: This is too... intimate... to have ever been shown on Doctor Who. At least, the Who that DT grew up watching. Can't speak to SM's version... Not that sykira would want me to; she said she's not fond of the post-Ten Whoverse. Of course, it's far tamer than what's been seen on Torchwood!
Author's Note: In the midst of worrying about the wind, dryness, low humidity, and wildfires near where I live, I decided to give my on-line friend a little treat for her birthday. (I'm safe for now, BTW...) I'm thrilled she got to see MAAN in person! Wish I could've been there to enjoy it with her and basmathgirl! Along with all the rest of the D/D fans I've encountered on-line...!
Say hello to what nearly turned into my first adult DW story... My muse almost wanted to take it there with this prompt that sykira handed me... but I decided it was more important to finish quickly. Of course... sykira did ask me to write a smutty sequel... It'll take me a few months to write, as it'll be a first for me. Haven't written anything like smut in several years... I'm being lured over to the dark side...!
Happy belated birthday, sykira!
“Okay,” the Doctor muttered under his breath as he eyed the room, “this will be awkward...”
He and Donna had to stay overnight on their current adventure, to help solve the latest disaster that the TARDIS detected. And Donna, being human, needed rest. So the locals had been kind enough to offer a modest accommodation for them. Emphasis on modest...
“You obviously don't know what awkward is, Sunshine! That bed is the only acceptable sleeping surface here, and look how small it is!”
Donna's words re-enforced his nerves. It was barely big enough for two people. “I can manage without sleep,” he protested quietly, not comfortable with how... not uncomfortable he was at the thought of sharing a bed with his best mate...
She gave him her special version of an evil glare. “I know you! You'll be up tinkering the room with that Sonic and I'll have trouble sleeping! Nope, Spaceman, you're going into that bed with me and trying to sleep! You're exhausted from all that running and putting out fires today. So don't try that 'I'm all right' crap on me!”
Blimey. She knew him too well.. It was good that she didn't know how he'd felt compelled to convince their current hosts that - despite whatever they heard said earlier - he and Donna were a couple. A few men had looked rather too long at her, with far too much interest... and he'd wanted - for the first time in his life - to throw some punches. Really, this him hated violence and avoided it at every chance. So what was driving him...?
It reminded him of how often he'd thought about Donna between their first meeting and that fateful night at Adipose Industries. How he'd felt guilty about thinking so much about her when he thought he was supposed to be grieving over losing Rose. Which he had...
Except it seemed to fade a lot sooner than he'd expected, even for a Time Lord. And Donna... She made him feel things he couldn't even begin to explain. And he hadn't wanted to explain Donna to Martha, so it was safer to cling to Rose's memory whenever Donna crossed his mind.
And look how well that had turned out... He'd broken Martha's heart before she'd pulled herself together and gotten over him. Of course, his being a arse to her probably helped...
He only hoped that Rose had managed what Martha had...
Of course, now that he had Donna alone with him in a room that apparently was meant for a couple on a stopover... Oh, Rassilon, am I sweating...?
Donna sighed. “Well, I'm tired. So let's get ready. And you are not sleeping in that entire suit! Jacket and shoes had better come off, but you'd better leave some clothing on!”
He blushed. He was positive that she wasn't thinking along the lines, but the last time anyone had hinted about the possibility of him sleeping... in the buff, it was - of course - Jack. And really, it was too much to hope that she'd change her mind about him; she'd made her opinion on his attractiveness plain that moment outside the TARDIS. So he sighed. “So what now?”
She went into the small bathroom, calling behind her, “I'll just be a moment, and then you can have it to get rid of whatever you choose. I'll already be in bed.”
The Doctor blushed again, grateful that she'd been looking away. As observant about people as she'd proved herself to be, she was rather oblivious about how others looked upon her. Maybe after Lance, she'd decided she didn't care. Which made the Doctor want to find ways to boost Donna's confidence - without accidentally giving her reason to leave him.
Meanwhile, Donna suppressed a groan over this twist of fate. Once again the universe wanted to rub it in her face that no one - not even in the future - could believe that a man and a woman could travel together and not be together. “I gave up on being married to travel with him,” she muttered as she peeled off her jacket. “To make a difference. Can't you let up on us? It's not like anything would happen! He's still bonkers over that girl he lost!”
What made talking to herself like this necessary was how the Doctor looked at her. Especially when he thought she was being brilliant. It was almost like she was the most important woman in the universe... But she knew better. She was his friend. He'd said he just wanted a mate - and not what she'd thought she'd heard - and she suspected that if he ever found a way to get Rose back, she'd be stuck playing gooseberry.
Which hurt. The way those looks made her feel? It was messing with her head. And she wondered what would be the final straw before she made the mistake Martha had; she could feel it coming, and so she tried provoking him, to remind herself of his less desirable traits. She'd tried focusing on his recklessness, but she noted that he toned that down in response to her criticisms. She laughed at his verbosity, but - she soon remembered - she could talk just as much, so she was only critiquing herself. And that oral fixation of his? Well, thinking about that led to thoughts that made her need... quality time...
Really, it was like she couldn't win! Spaceman was getting on her thoughts, and creeping into her dreams. It wasn't fair that he could be so unaffected, but... she was just Donna Noble. A temp... At least he saw her for her, so maybe there was someone else who would, too...
She decided she'd better wait to remove her trousers until he was taking his turn in the loo. Probably would save them both a lot of embarrassment. So Donna rushed through her routine and washed her hands. She burst back into the room. “All yours,” she declared brightly. Maybe a little too brightly...
The Doctor wished he could do something to make her feel better than wouldn't involve getting him slapped. But he was at a total loss. He'd shed his jacket and tie and shoes, putting them in a corner that he decided she'd leave alone. She probably didn't want their clothing mingling, either... Sighing, he went in - suspecting that it was more for her sense of staying decent than whatever concern she had for him. Which, he felt, probably wasn't much in this case... “Let me know when I can come back out,” he said as he went in. Might as well take care of the basics... “And I'm staying closer to the door,” he declared. Not letting anyone get near her...
Donna noticed that her Martian Boy was being awfully quiet. And it had been getting worse since they left the 1920s. Sometimes it seemed like he wasn't quite sure how to act around her after she'd decided that the best shock would be to kiss him. If she hadn't been so sure of his attachment to Rose Tyler, she might've been very confused by how he'd looked at her once he'd expelled that cloud... The staying between her and possible danger part? Well, that was just Spaceman being protective of his friends. Nothing more.
Shaking off the memories, once the door closed, she quickly stepped out of her trousers and shoes - and pulled off the classic woman's trick of removing a bra without completely disrobing. She idly wondered if the Doctor had ever seen that act before, and giggled at the silly idea of him being as baffled by it as Earth men could be. Shaking off thoughts that wouldn't help her sleep, she swiftly got under the sheets - which were strangely soft and inviting - and on her back.
Oi, she thought, someone had kinky ideas when they made this room! Trying to get people to be only up to one thing if they aren't sleeping?!
Mentally slapping herself, Donna braced herself for the night ahead. “All set,” she called out, hoping it sounded better than some of the phrases she could've used but didn't because she wanted to actually get some sleep and not be so embarrassed that her face would try to match her hair color.
The Doctor slowly opened the door, having reluctantly removed his trousers and belt. He kept the shirt on, not even undoing any buttons for ease. After all, he had to share a bed with the woman who made it clear she thought of him as too skinny for her taste. He wasn't about to give her more ammunition for teasing. Really, it was better that she had no expectations of him romantically.
Wasn't it...?
Donna's eyes flickered over, meaning a quick check that he'd listened to her earlier demands, but they fixed on a sight that made her burst into laughter. “I knew your time fixation would show up in weird ways!”
The Doctor sighed. He'd forgotten that he'd chosen the fob-watches boxer-briefs today. “For the record, Donna Noble, I wouldn't make fun of your undergarment choices, even if I knew what they were,” he snapped as he tossed his things over that corner holding the rest. “Any other insults you've got for me before you nod off?!”
Hmm... Spaceman's getting a little testy when I make fun of him. What's his problem? He didn't use to mind! Donna shook off the thoughts and swallowed her laughter. “Not for now,” she promised, though she figured she'd be mentally smirking for a while over the image. Although when she glanced further down and noted his runner's legs... Well, she didn't want to focus on how becoming they were... She averted her eyes, glad his own weren't focusing but instead rolling in exasperation, and pat beside her. “Let's see what we're dealing with tonight...”
Sighing, the Doctor braced for one of the most awkward nights of his life - if not the most - and slowly got into bed. He made sure she could see what he was doing because he didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable than she already had to be. He sometimes worried that Donna had been taken advantage of physically in the past, and the only reason he didn't dare ask was because he was afraid of how he might react if his fears were right. And he hoped he was just being overprotective...
Donna noticed how careful he was being to not touch her, but there was something in his eyes that said he was keeping aware of where her hands were. She groaned. “Unless your hands like to wander when you're unconscious, you're safe from slaps, Sunshine.”
Grimacing, the Doctor raised a skeptical eyebrow at her before turning his back toward her and trying to lie on his side. He wondered how some humans managed to endure hardships with all this comfort around them. Of course, maybe his was the view that was biased; young Gallifreyans endured a lot in the Academy...
Not for the first time, Donna could see him folding in on himself. Withdrawing... from the universe. Did I say something I shouldn't have... again? “You know, Spaceman, pulling away from me is a surefire way of keeping me awake. What's wrong this time?”
The Doctor silently cursed in Gallifreyan. Can't put a lot past her... He sighed. “I don't think you want to hear this one, Donna. I don't think I'm ready to explain it. Not even to myself.”
Oh, this is bad... Donna thought about rolling toward him, but didn't want to make him uneasy. “Not used to sharing a bed with anyone...?”
He blushed, grateful that she couldn't see it. “No...” An uncomfortable memory pushed forward, one he'd tried to bury...
Donna narrowed her eyes. There's a story there... “The last time wasn't good, hmm?”
He grumbled through a closed mouth, knowing he wasn't getting out of telling it. “When Martha and I met Shakespeare, we had to share a room with only one bed. It was... Well, this is positively pleasant by comparison.” That seemed safer to say than what he really thought... “I made the mistake of commenting about Rose... while lying on the bed with Martha.” He knew the criticisms wouldn't take long...
“Oi!” Donna kept her voice down, but not the offense she felt on Martha's behalf. “God, she'd have good reason to hate you! You don't bring up an old girlfriend like that! And that was only her first adventure with you!”
The Doctor flinched. “Yeah... I guess I owe her an apology for that... Among other things...”
“Too right, you Prawn!” Donna shook her head. “Anyone else you confused like that in bed?”
“No.” At least it was the truth. “This is only the second time I've shared a bed. Sleeping quarters weren't even shared on Gallifrey. Not even at the Academy; they didn't want the students forming unseemly attachments.”
Donna thought to all the jokes she and her school mates made about the boarding schools for boys, and what sorts of... experimenting... had been going on there... Those would be probably be very inappropriate right now, she thought, but what can I do to help him...? Realizing that as long as he faced away from her, she couldn't be completely sure what he might be holding back. Deciding to take a risk, she asked, “Would it help if I hugged you from behind?”
He blinked, and risked looking over his shoulder to just barely meet her eyes. “How do you do that?”
Okay, Donna thought with raised brows, he can't possibly be that naïve... “Like this.” She rolled toward him and wrapped an arm around him, resting the hand over his hearts as she pulled herself against his back. His body temperature was cooler than a human's, but it wasn't unpleasantly so... She made herself not think about that; he needed to be reassured, to be bolstered against whatever demons were bothering him now...
The Doctor froze at the new experience. Did people actually sleep like this...?! He began to grasp that if you cared so very deeply about someone, this could be rather lovely. He felt something gather in his eyes, a feeling he hadn't had since he'd gone too far and sent Rose that goodbye message - something he now questioned whether he should've done... And he felt something else that seemed to come from his chest, and it wasn't his increasing hearts-rate...
Donna noted that detail under her hand and through his back, but decided to wait to mention it; they might calm after a moment. “Is this okay?”
To the Doctor, Donna's body had always felt nice to be against. There was a softness to it that made her hugs so much more enjoyable than the ones any other companion gave. And such a comforting warmth! He wondered if keeping it up was why she always thought it was too cold in the TARDIS... He swallowed before he could speak. “It's... quite lovely, actually...”
He sounds shocked... Donna tried to puzzle that out, but realized that she had no clue what her alien friend really went through as a child. “Did no one ever hug you when you were younger? Or at any time before you started traveling...?”
“No,” he whispered. The words tumbled out before he could stop them, just like a lot of things did around Donna Noble. “Our society frowned on attachments of any kind. I think my granddaughter traveled with me because she worried about whether I could take care of myself... until she fell in love...”
Donna was stunned. She whispered, “I had no idea you lived so long without knowing any kind of love...” It seemed like her own mother was positively loving by comparison...
He swallowed again, trying to withdraw. “It's all right. Hard to miss what you never knew.”
“But you always sensed that you needed something more than what you got...”
Damn, he hated it when she got super observant of his needs, his secret wishes. Well, he told himself that he hated it. Really, he had no idea how to react... Especially because she never held it against him that he had a person's feelings and wishes, that she knew it wasn't healthy for him to carry the weight of all of time on his shoulders. Not going to cry, he told himself sternly.
Donna could feel him tremble, and realized she'd hit a nerve. She tightened the hug briefly. “Did you ever have a real relationship with anyone?”
He buried his face into the pillow. “You mean like a human would measure it?” Oh, did he feel the Lonely God label now...
His whisper broke her heart. “Then the answer's no...?” How can anyone live like that...? “There was never anyone who you wanted to be in a relationship with?”
Oh, trust her to hit on the question he most wanted her to not ask... because if he answered it, it'd all be over...
She had to add, curiosity getting the better of her, “Not even Rose?”
Now he could scoff, proving how far he'd come since Bad Wolf Bay. “She was too young.”
Donna snorted. She couldn't help it. “Well, you're over 900 years old! We'd all be too young for you!”
“Not absolute age! Relative age!” He sighed, trying to find the words to express his thoughts. “I didn't see how young she was even for a human. How she wasn't yet an adult in any true sense. Not until after I realized that she had come to want more from me than I could ever give her. I mucked that up so much, messed up her life, and I didn't know until after it was too late! She might even still think that I felt more than I ever did...”
Oh, my God... “But she did mean something to you, right?”
He sniffled, trying to suppress tears of guilt - which he now knew was what his eyes were dropping back then. “She saved my life during that first adventure. I guess I got a sort of hero worship crush, strengthened by my fondness of her innocence. I thought she'd tamed the fires within me, but I realize now that she allowed me to ignore them. And it all led me to be unfair to Martha...” If he weren't keeping his hands tightly by his side, he'd face-palm himself.
And there's no room for growth in a relationship built upon hero worship, Donna knew. It's the case of the Idol and the Fan. If either changes, the other isn't needed anymore... So when he regenerated into this current self, he started to not need Rose... and neither of them saw it happening... She thought back to the question he still hadn't answered. “But was there someone who you were willing to take those risks for? That you wanted to get closer to?”
The Doctor gulped. “No,” he whispered firmly, hoping she bought the lie.
Donna's eyes narrowed. That was it! She pulled back enough for room to use her hand on his chest to force him onto his back.
He gasped, and gaped when he met her angry eyes. Oh, Rassilon, he was in big trouble!
“I can hear that you're lying, Spaceman,” Donna ground out, trying to keep her voice low. It made her sound very dangerous. “I know you hate talking about your feelings, but this is eating you from the inside. Who is she? Or is it a he?”
The Doctor closed his eyes tightly. An avoidance tactic, he knew, but I can't meet her eyes when she figures this one out. And she will... so no point in prolonging the inevitable... “It doesn't matter, Donna,” he choked out. “She doesn't want me. She's made that very clear... and I won't disrespect her wishes. She's had too many people not respect those...” He trailed off on a whisper, not trusting himself to hold anything else back...
Donna blinked at his tight, nervous expression. He's afraid of me figuring this one out? Why should he be so worried? And who besides me would possibly - ? And the light-bulb went off for her. All those looks... All that protectiveness... The growing hesitation over correcting people who think we're a couple... “How long, Spaceman...?”
The open curiosity, and lack of anger, made him open his eyes in shock. “What?!”
She just blinked, not quite believing her conclusion. “How long have you felt this way...?” Could I be imagining things...? Except his already hyper hearts-rate was increasing yet again...
One hand was still over his hearts. The other was propping her up to stare at him. For the moment he was safe from a slap... He sighed and sank into the bed. She'll hound me until I lay all my cards out. And I have to keep my words simple, too... “It might've started from that rooftop when you first smiled genuinely at me. I'd already been struck by your beauty - and it didn't all stem from you being a ginger! - and at that moment, I sensed that there was something extraordinary about you. And I knew that I'd treasure you if I were going to be your husband.”
Donna's jaw dropped. He looked and sounded completely sincere... And when it came to feelings, she knew that he was absolute rubbish at lying... Her heart-rate increased in response.
“I didn't understand why I was so devastated when you told me no,” he slowly continued. “I thought it was because I did, like you said, need someone and I thought that someone had been dropped into my life by chance. But I missed you - slaps and all - in that time up to Adipose Industries. I was considering stopping to see you, to see if you could be talked into traveling with me, when we met again.”
“Then,” Donna whispered, “why did you go off about what happened with Martha? Not exactly the best way to sell yourself to anyone, Sunshine...” Her mind couldn't quite accept the idea...
He closed his eyes and rubbed his face with his one free hand. The other was trapped the sides of their stomachs, and he was keeping that one perfectly still... “I was confused. You get me that way a lot, Donna... and I really thought that all I needed was a mate...” He trailed off, realizing that he was about to admit to something that could really put her off, and blushed. I'm very glad that my people kept a lot about us private; Jack would never have left this alone...
Whenever her Spaceman got embarrassed by something, it was sure to be a good story. Of course, this one might be a little awkward for both of them... “And...? What were you going to say?”
He cleared his throat. Should've known... “Gallifreyans have been using this technology called looms to make new life for millenia, Donna. With one exception, and that happened to a former companion and a Citadel Guard, there hasn't been a natural-born Gallifreyan since the looms were created. I...” He gulped, and whispered the rest: “I don't know anything practical about how to mate...” And to a human, he thought, that might be the least believable part... So he closed his eyes again, wanting to hide under a rock. Or anything that would protect him from the slap that had to be coming...
Donna blinked repeatedly, processing his words. He's telling the absolute truth... “So when you said you had to do that more often, you really weren't talking about detox, were you...?”
He felt like a pair of daggers were just waiting to stab him in his hearts. “I wanted to know what it would've been like without the detox part,” he whispered. “If you'd actually wanted to kiss me... But I have so little practical knowledge about even that... I was sure you wouldn't like it if I had ever gotten the nerve to kiss you...”
That made her eyes widen... and her heart twist as it beat even faster. Her poor mate... A complete innocent in so many ways of the universe... She wouldn't have believed it possible. That someone so amazing could want her...
The Doctor waited for a slap, a reprimand, some sharp words. Something to rebuke him for daring to feel the way he did...
But Donna wasn't inclined to hit him. He'd been doing that mentally to himself enough times, clearly! No, she was reeling from the shock of the disclosure. And her willingness to table her own discomfort to help others allowed her to swallow and make her own soft admission: “Well, I guess kissing would be the only physical area where I'd have more practice than you... And it's not like my relationship history is anything to brag about...”
The lack of what he'd been expecting stunned the Doctor into silence. Then his mind started processing what Donna did say, and what she didn't outright say... He opened his eyes slowly, and saw complete sincerity in her face and eyes. “But... you said you lived with Lance...”
Donna's lips twisted into a wry smile. “Yeah, well, I guess I was lucky in that he claimed he wanted to wait. I know he was really keeping me dosed, but I wanted to believe so badly.” She shook her head to make the memory go away for now, and then looked softly down at her best friend - who, she could now admit to herself, was actually quite an attractive person. “What do you want us to do, Doctor?”
He blinked. She wasn't angry... She was... giving him the go-ahead?! “I... I don't have a clue what your boundaries are anymore, Donna. I don't want to make you uneasy...”
Aw... She kept that reaction within her head. “How about you claim that kiss you spoke about? I'm sure you and your oral fixation will learn what to do...” She gave him a coy smile as she brought her head down close - but far enough that he'd need to move to press their lips together.
The Doctor, if not for the complete openness of Donna's expression, would've stared in shock. But he couldn't let this opportunity slip away. He reached up to gently touch her cheek, and lifted his head to softly kiss her.
Donna let him slowly explore, and she responded to encourage him. She never thought sweet would be something she'd like in a kiss, but she found his innocence strangely refreshing - although his eagerness to learn about what she liked was far more pleasing... Especially as she slowly deepened the kiss - soon forcing them to lean back against his pillow as neither was quite willing to stop. Her tongue invited his - and that part of him had invaded her dreams more times than she was willing to admit to at present - to do its own exploring, with some guidance. Wanting more contact, she lifted her body enough to coax his other arm into wrapping around her waist, and he was all-too willing to hold her closer - even tangling a hand in her hair.
Even he'd lost all track of time when they had to part - so she could breathe. But even he was panting; the respiratory bypass hadn't quite kicked in. His lips quirked into the goofiest grin that he'd ever had on his face, and he knew she'd never looked more beautiful than she did with her lightly flushed cheeks and brighter-than-usual eyes.
She beamed back at him, noticing that his look was a combination of the sweetness from when he “biodamped” her and that awe after the detox. Mixed with a bit of gratitude and shock. It made him look even more adorable. She stroked his crazy hair. “Let's get some sleep, Spaceman,” she whispered fondly. “Once we've figured out this mess,” she added as she settled into a cuddle that he was returning in a daze, “we can go back to your ship and... decide how we want to explore some more new frontiers for us both.”
He wasn't sure what that meant, as his mind was considerably addled from the new sensations. But he couldn't wait to find out what she meant!
To be continued... in “ Their Quest for Experience”