(no subject)

[tkd_thc_tnt]

i hate people and emotions, the fact that i have so few, i hate walking around not tied down, by anything or anyone, i could be anywhere, i have no reason in particular to be hear, i just happen to be, i could be the same me anywhere else, i hate my sense of self, i hate controlling all that i do despite what you do. I have perfect control, all calculated and preconceived, averything i say is trite as it is me aliciting a certain response, ive heard everything i say twice, the first two times in my head, checking to make sure it sounds right, im good at analysing books because im good at analysing people, because i try to control them. all of that, and i cant understand some of the most basic things about people, i can manipulate them but i cant quite empathize, i dont understand emotions, so i cant allways get it right. close but not quite. I just want it all to be simple, i want to see nothing but dimples on smiling peoples faces, no more stoney faces of malcontent that i can do nothing to circumvent, only dimples and emotions of simplicity,..,
time to go