(no subject)
im in the weirdest mood right now. for the first time in my life i feel the pressures of graduating. being lost, floating around in the possibilities. i know a lot of people go through this, but i literally have a month to apply to grad school, or i'll be working for the next year.
but its not even that, the last few weeks have been so bazaar. i feel like my hearts been scraped out like a pumpkin, except that im not being carved into something amazing. im being hallowed out and im starting to feel the emptiness inside. im surrounded by my friends, but i can only dwell on a few things that dont even really have meaning in my life. can one ever control their minds or heart? why didnt i learn the lesson to not be attached? when did my life become a whirlpool in the ocean?
someone recently said that if the middle of the scale is just 'okay', at one end is pain and fear and despair. but at the other end is an equal amount of love and happiness and exuberance. i had a hard time wrapping my head around that.
for better or for worse im going to assume the universe has a better plan for me.
but its not even that, the last few weeks have been so bazaar. i feel like my hearts been scraped out like a pumpkin, except that im not being carved into something amazing. im being hallowed out and im starting to feel the emptiness inside. im surrounded by my friends, but i can only dwell on a few things that dont even really have meaning in my life. can one ever control their minds or heart? why didnt i learn the lesson to not be attached? when did my life become a whirlpool in the ocean?
someone recently said that if the middle of the scale is just 'okay', at one end is pain and fear and despair. but at the other end is an equal amount of love and happiness and exuberance. i had a hard time wrapping my head around that.
for better or for worse im going to assume the universe has a better plan for me.