Questions & Thoughts?
How do we grow our sense of self?
Are there specifics pieces that only work for specific people? Like different puzzles mixed together? Or do all pieces have to be present for all people?
Is it that there are always key pieces that are necessary? Like corners are needed for (pretty much) every puzzle?
Do we grow our identity by:
1) How others see us? How others react to us? How others talk about us (what words they use)? How others don't talk about us (what words they don't use)?
2) How we see ourselves? How we react to our own words/thoughts/looks? How we talk about ourselves? How we refuse to label ourselves?
3) What we associate with? What music we listen to? What music we make? What books we read? What books/letters/blogs we write?
4) Whom we associate with? Whom we value? Whom we loath?
Is it the internal label that defines us the most? How we define ourselves?
Is it the external label that defines us the most? How others label us?
For Christians it seems there is a long line of triggering that happens in the process of self-identification and value. First there is usually some sort of environment either born into or accepted by, in which we think we get our identity through a means of external praise (positive: good job son, or you're so attractive / negative: you'll never amount to anything, or her butt is too fat) or false internal value (you're only as good as your grades). After a while, we accept those denotations. We adapt this identity. For some reason or another, we start swimming along with this stream. We start changing ourselves to fit in ... following expectations others have of ourselves ... eventually these external expectations become internalized. After a while, these streams ... because they have originated from outside ourselves and because they did not immediately ring true with our natural self-understanding ... begin to cause us to sink. When we reach the bottom, when we see nowhere to go but deeper ... when we break because there is some part of us that knows there is more to this life then what we experience or learn ... it is in this deepest darkest value that Christians experience the gracious love of Christ through the unexpected love of a neighbor, family member, or stranger. This unexpected love resounds within us. There is something deep in our core that agrees with this affirmation of value. It is not a false affirmation. It is not conditional. It is not a love that will only be there if it is agreed with. It is not a love that says ... 'you can be on this team if you run a lap in 2 minutes, but if you can't ... tough luck'. It is, as popular as the term is, unconditional. Now in my case, and usually over time, it is agreed upon that we knew our own value despite inherent brokenness 'deep within our souls'. It is through the external breaking through and awakening the internal .. that Christians (at least in my experience) grasp their own identity, worth, and value. It is through this breaking and remaking of Christ that Christians are taught to be Christ to others. Indeed this is not a one time affair. We continually break and are reformed. We continually descend into the waters of baptism to be lifted out by the resurrection and triumph of Christ.
So how does dying to self work? Is this dying to self ... really the same thing as Offspring says being a 'sucker with low self esteem'? I don't think so. I don't think the compassionate and risen Christ calls us to consider ourselves worthless and revolting, for to do so denies that message of value which he gives his life to communicate. I think that dying to self, is something that involves the denial of that which our flesh inherently wants instinctively for its own good but to its own detriment. Although discipleship is indeed something that involves a sacrifice of ourselves, and we could argue that this is something which detriments us, but that detrimentation (actual word?) is not the final step. Christ's final word is not death. This dying of our instinctive sinful flesh, that which thinks it knows what is best only to seize it and discover that it has been an illusion all along, this death is something that happens when we resign ourself not to another illusion, that we are worthless and that is all we shall ever be, but happens when we place our faith, our hope, our trust, all our 'eggs' in the basket of one who has conquered the brokenness of the world and who promises to restore us and creation to everlasting hope and peace.
So, how can we communicate this understanding, this foolishness to a world that sees only its own 'understanding'? I don't really know. I think we are called to do this in specific times and specific places, each different for different people. I think however, that in everytime and in every place, we are called to proclaim, through word and deed, the faithfulness of Christ and the respondant faithfulness of ourselves for his creation and his people of all the world. I think there are valleys we must all go through, but I think that we must trust in Christ enough to allow those we love to go through certain valleys. Some people will respond to our immediate hand of relief and compassion. Others will cling to their own identity and their own purposes and paths. Is this a bad thing? I don't know, but I think that as Christians we must let them do this. Christ doesn't hold a gun to our heads and say 'you are going to die unless you love me'. Christ holds out his arms to us when we are strong and when we are weak, saying 'here I am, I love you, let me carry this for you'. Whether others respond to us when we make the same request is not the issue, the issue is that we must always be this willing, this selfless, and most of all this faithful. Christ is always there calling to us, he doesn't take coffee breaks. I don't think we should either. These arms of ours must be open when we see our friends, family, and loved ones feeling happy and strong as well as broken and afraid.
Our best way to convey identity to others must not be in the method that we first recieved ours (parents, media, schools, depression, whatever) ... I think it must be through the way in which we once recieved and continue to recieve our true worth.
Don't really know where that all came from, but I hope it helped someone. At the very least, it helped to get it all out. I hope people see the faithful gracious loving face of God through me somehow, although I fear I have too often dissuaded them from doing so.
Sigh. ... sing it Johnny.
Are there specifics pieces that only work for specific people? Like different puzzles mixed together? Or do all pieces have to be present for all people?
Is it that there are always key pieces that are necessary? Like corners are needed for (pretty much) every puzzle?
Do we grow our identity by:
1) How others see us? How others react to us? How others talk about us (what words they use)? How others don't talk about us (what words they don't use)?
2) How we see ourselves? How we react to our own words/thoughts/looks? How we talk about ourselves? How we refuse to label ourselves?
3) What we associate with? What music we listen to? What music we make? What books we read? What books/letters/blogs we write?
4) Whom we associate with? Whom we value? Whom we loath?
Is it the internal label that defines us the most? How we define ourselves?
Is it the external label that defines us the most? How others label us?
For Christians it seems there is a long line of triggering that happens in the process of self-identification and value. First there is usually some sort of environment either born into or accepted by, in which we think we get our identity through a means of external praise (positive: good job son, or you're so attractive / negative: you'll never amount to anything, or her butt is too fat) or false internal value (you're only as good as your grades). After a while, we accept those denotations. We adapt this identity. For some reason or another, we start swimming along with this stream. We start changing ourselves to fit in ... following expectations others have of ourselves ... eventually these external expectations become internalized. After a while, these streams ... because they have originated from outside ourselves and because they did not immediately ring true with our natural self-understanding ... begin to cause us to sink. When we reach the bottom, when we see nowhere to go but deeper ... when we break because there is some part of us that knows there is more to this life then what we experience or learn ... it is in this deepest darkest value that Christians experience the gracious love of Christ through the unexpected love of a neighbor, family member, or stranger. This unexpected love resounds within us. There is something deep in our core that agrees with this affirmation of value. It is not a false affirmation. It is not conditional. It is not a love that will only be there if it is agreed with. It is not a love that says ... 'you can be on this team if you run a lap in 2 minutes, but if you can't ... tough luck'. It is, as popular as the term is, unconditional. Now in my case, and usually over time, it is agreed upon that we knew our own value despite inherent brokenness 'deep within our souls'. It is through the external breaking through and awakening the internal .. that Christians (at least in my experience) grasp their own identity, worth, and value. It is through this breaking and remaking of Christ that Christians are taught to be Christ to others. Indeed this is not a one time affair. We continually break and are reformed. We continually descend into the waters of baptism to be lifted out by the resurrection and triumph of Christ.
So how does dying to self work? Is this dying to self ... really the same thing as Offspring says being a 'sucker with low self esteem'? I don't think so. I don't think the compassionate and risen Christ calls us to consider ourselves worthless and revolting, for to do so denies that message of value which he gives his life to communicate. I think that dying to self, is something that involves the denial of that which our flesh inherently wants instinctively for its own good but to its own detriment. Although discipleship is indeed something that involves a sacrifice of ourselves, and we could argue that this is something which detriments us, but that detrimentation (actual word?) is not the final step. Christ's final word is not death. This dying of our instinctive sinful flesh, that which thinks it knows what is best only to seize it and discover that it has been an illusion all along, this death is something that happens when we resign ourself not to another illusion, that we are worthless and that is all we shall ever be, but happens when we place our faith, our hope, our trust, all our 'eggs' in the basket of one who has conquered the brokenness of the world and who promises to restore us and creation to everlasting hope and peace.
So, how can we communicate this understanding, this foolishness to a world that sees only its own 'understanding'? I don't really know. I think we are called to do this in specific times and specific places, each different for different people. I think however, that in everytime and in every place, we are called to proclaim, through word and deed, the faithfulness of Christ and the respondant faithfulness of ourselves for his creation and his people of all the world. I think there are valleys we must all go through, but I think that we must trust in Christ enough to allow those we love to go through certain valleys. Some people will respond to our immediate hand of relief and compassion. Others will cling to their own identity and their own purposes and paths. Is this a bad thing? I don't know, but I think that as Christians we must let them do this. Christ doesn't hold a gun to our heads and say 'you are going to die unless you love me'. Christ holds out his arms to us when we are strong and when we are weak, saying 'here I am, I love you, let me carry this for you'. Whether others respond to us when we make the same request is not the issue, the issue is that we must always be this willing, this selfless, and most of all this faithful. Christ is always there calling to us, he doesn't take coffee breaks. I don't think we should either. These arms of ours must be open when we see our friends, family, and loved ones feeling happy and strong as well as broken and afraid.
Our best way to convey identity to others must not be in the method that we first recieved ours (parents, media, schools, depression, whatever) ... I think it must be through the way in which we once recieved and continue to recieve our true worth.
Don't really know where that all came from, but I hope it helped someone. At the very least, it helped to get it all out. I hope people see the faithful gracious loving face of God through me somehow, although I fear I have too often dissuaded them from doing so.
Sigh. ... sing it Johnny.