Conquering Duality - My 2nd Sermon @ Trinity Chapel
Isaiah 43: 18-25 - Conquering Duality - Thomas Jackson
We are well into the third week of classes for the spring semester here at Dana and I do not know about the faculty but as a student, I am swamped! So far, I have only been to two opening convocations for Dana College, but at each of these, I was stunned and somewhat ashamed to witness how many fine students achieve the seemingly impossible; committing themselves to an athletic team while maintaining a very respectable grade point average. I must admit, I found myself envious of these remarkable achievements. I found myself wanting to be included in their ranks and almost began embarking on such a pursuit, when I suddenly stopped and reminded myself, “Wait a minute! I have no athletic ability what-so-ever.” So I began to pursue the endeavor of achievement amidst my academic pursuits. I am not taking anywhere near the number of credit hours as other students are and I certainly am not performing at my level best. As I have come to these realizations, I have often found myself wanting to rationalize away my many shortcomings. In the context of this semester, the course that bears the brunt of these rationalizing excuse-making critiques is Dr. Lyden’s Christian Thought course. There is a lot of reading required and we have to be on our toes to tackle interesting and difficult topics in a respectful discussion. The overlapping of the different books and papers makes things interesting as well.
However, I will admit that at Dana College, Christian Thought is my favorite course so far. When we introduced ourselves and explained why we were enrolled, I responded that I was a religion major and well, I like sitting around thinking Christian thoughts. I also find many commonalities between Dr. Lyden and myself. First off, we both have strong Democratic tendencies and enjoy the Silence of the Lambs. But more than that, we also see the many parallels between Christian theology and productions of the motion picture industry. There are some dangers in drawing parallels between these two spheres of thought. After taking Jesus in the Gospels with Pastor over Interim and attending many bible studies on parables, I have revolved not to stick too closely to the often-enticing allegorical interpretation. It is very easy to see religious parallels between movie characters and the people or circumstances of the Bible. However, one must be careful not to fall into the trap of making motion pictures into gospels. Just because one Christian insight may be gained from watching a movie that does not conclude that, the entire movie is going to follow and remain consistent with facets of Christian theology. That being said, there are still parts of movies that shed light on our experiences and walks of faith.
In my last opportunity to speak at morning Chapel, I discussed aspects of the first installment of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Fellowship of the Ring. After discussing the duality of man in various facets within Christian Thought, I have found myself compelled to talk about the captivating character of Gollum found in the second installment, The Two Towers. Emerging again from the unfortunate phenomenon of seasonal depression, I find myself in the season of Lent. In my youth, I found this time of year incredibly unpleasing. Classes got harder, everyone seemed religiously sullen, and I could still only see how winter had frozen everything and forced it into a dormant state. I felt like I was living in a cave somewhere, debating various aspects of humanity, but often without any light or hope or goodness. I became bitter, cynical, and sarcastic. I still carry these burdens, but I am getting better. How do we emerge from such moral and emotional darkness? Gollum found himself following the precious; a ring that entranced and later left him. Eventually he comes across Frodo Baggins and Sam-wise Gamgee, the ring bearer and his companion.
After being engrossed in the Tolkien trilogy for quite a while, I have found it harder and harder to identify with Frodo, yet easier and easier to relate to Gollum and Sam-wise. I remember slowly emerging from my darkest caves of despair and cynicism. It was hard to emerge from this cave. I slowly had to let go of my ill-tempered thoughts of others. I was bitter and accusatory towards them. Occasionally I still find myself regarding others like Sam-wise. “Go ahead and starve then! It’s no more than you deserve!” Yet as I emerged from my cave and entered the outside air, I found myself surrounded by a community like this; the family of Christ. This family said to me and to those I scorned that all people deserve more and are given much more than we could earn for ourselves. They slowly and faithfully reaffirmed my identity as a child of God. I did not understand how to walk the way of faith, or why such a way was even compelling. I will admit, this is an area I still find myself contemplating. However, this family I found; a family I had always been a part of, this family did understand it. Moreover, they walked by it. Not knowing how to relate to them, I found myself operating under a ‘Gollum-esque’ procedure. “We’ll be nice to them, if they be nice to us.” They offered their ‘niceness’ not because they were abiding by this mode of operation, but because they were walking the way of faith.
Within the family of Christ, there were people who did not understand me. I suspect these people are always here. I suspect that at times, I even become like these people. The people who did not understand me, would look upon me with scorn or disdain at this new ugliness that was welcomed unconditionally into the same flock as they. I was so immature and hateful in those days, I would regard them in the same manner as Gollum. “Oh! Cruel Hobbit! It does not care if we be hungry. It does not care if we should die.” Ultimately, whether these people did or did not care about my wellbeing is of no consequence. Any judgment of scorn or distain is not mine to make. What relates to me in a way more powerful than the contemptuous scorn I felt, was the grace, the compassion, and the love of God that I felt through other members of this newfound family. These kind-hearted people were like Frodo. They remembered how they had emerged from their own caves of despair. Like Gollum, I considered these ministers as my masters in Christ, people I served and from whom I learned. I recognized their empathy, as Gollum recognized Frodo’s, “Master sees, Master knows.” I like to think that when they thought of me, they said, “Maybe he does deserve to die. But now that I see him, I do pity him.” Whether or not they considered me in the same manner as characters represented in Tolkien’s book, I was welcomed. I was encouraged, sustained, admonished, cared for, and throughout everything, loved.
Despite my seemingly endless sarcasm and cynicism, in matters of ministry, I feel somewhat like Frodo. I find myself regarding others with enormous objectivity. I will think horrible thoughts; such-and-such a person is worthless and unredeemable because they do this or that. Nevertheless, there are times, when I find myself getting to know people; when relationships sneak up upon me. Not because I have chosen to seek someone out and minister to them, but because Christ has led me to them. In those cases, the people who were dehumanized in my mind, marginalized by my beliefs, become priceless. When I do see them, I relate to them, I realize that I am no better then they. I remember that I have been marked with the Cross of Christ and that this marking has more than simply salvific consequences. I am obligated to represent Christ’s love, will, and grace in the world to the best of my ability.
It is Christ. Christ alone, who has taken the initiative to seek and find us. In his infinite compassion, he has deigned to be our “light in dark places, when all other lights go out.” He has shown us the direction to walk, and where to plant our steps. He has given everything for us. Often times we think that this gift is solely for our benefit. But it is for God’s benefit, to be reconciled with those whom He loves. And it is for the benefit of those who will realize Christ’s love through the messages we send. As St. Francis said, “Preach the gospel always. If necessary, use words.” Yet these messages, these definitions of ourselves, often become clouded. We do not realize it when we turn, but we often find ourselves walking down the wrong path.
A story is told of a grandfather and his grandson. His little grandson often came in the evenings to sit at his knee and ask the many questions that children ask. One day the grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice; hurting him physically and emotionally. He was hurt and enraged. “I hate them. I hate them all!”
The Grandfather, with eyes that have seen too much, lifted his grandson's face so his eyes looked into the boys. Grandfather said, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.”
"But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times. It is as if there are two wolves inside me, one is white, and one is black. The White Wolf is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. But will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.”
"But, the Black Wolf is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.”
"Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy, looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes, and asked, "Which one wins Grandfather?"
The Grandfather, smiled and said, "The one I feed."
It is Christ who feeds us. By a loving God, our talents have been given and for Christ our abilities are to be returned. He strengthens our spirits by his Grace, creating new hearts within us. In a world that seems dark and dank, he restores us with the joy of our salvation. Every blessing He pours out, we turn back to Him in praise. He focuses our abilities on goals that are worthy and loving, for His honor, and for his satisfaction. By his grace, through our service, he creates a new thing within us everyday. This is no easy task, but he has not abandoned us. The words of Christ call to us, saying let go of those former things, but do not let go of me. I have something new for you and it will bring you healing and hope. Give up those former things, but do not give up on me. I will be there for you. I will never leave you, nor forsake you. I will be here. Do not give up.
Amen