Queer Heterosexual?
Several months ago I was reading the Savage Love column by Dan Savage (look him up if you don't know who he is) when I was introduced to a term that's been on my mind off and on since then.
The term was in a response from a letter from a reader who said that he was a GLBT-supportive straight man. I have no doubt that a straight man can be GLBT supportive. After all, I'm straight, and I'm about as GLBT supportive as anyone can get. Well, according to this column (I don't think it was Dan Savage himself who said it), I'm not really a straight guy; I'm a queer heterosexual.
I've been going over in my head exactly what this term really means, and also whether or not it's an offensive term. Yes, I said offensive. To me, it says that straight people who are GLBT supportive are so strange and so completely out of the ordinary that they should have their own label.
I would say that requiring a label that says that you support GLBT rights is unfortunate, but at the same time I can see some truth to it. A large part of our culture is still very homophobic, especially what I would call "guy culture." I've known plenty of guys who casually make fun of gay people and use "gay" and "f@g" as all-purpose insults. They're not openly hostile towards gay people, but they do get noticeably uncomfortable when confronted with anyone who isn't straight. Sometimes I think this is how society expects men to act, so I guess I can see the need to label any guys who are different from them. It's an unfortunate symptom of society's problems.
This has also gotten me thinking about my own identity and where I stand. I am definitely what some people call a queer heterosexual. I belong to a church where most of the congregation is queer, I'm standing up for GLBT rights more and more often, and I will gladly go to a Pride event without question. I'm even getting to the point where I'm getting more comfortable around GLBT people than what most people would call typical straight guys. I've become about as gay as someone can get without actually being gay.
Am I okay with this? Absolutely. Am I okay with being labeled a "queer heterosexual?" I guess, but I'd rather not wear a label at all. I'd rather be able to stand up for GLBT rights and hang out with my GLBT friends and not have anyone question it or look sideways at me, but if you're the kind of person who feels the need to stick a label on someone, by all means call me a queer heterosexual.
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