Bitterness
Ok. Someone who, at one point, was a good friend of mine got married last weekend. Well, sort of. They were already legally married, but they finally got around to having the ceremony. I'm happy for her, and I wish her the best, but I'm trying to deal with the anger and bitterness that The Hubby and I weren't invited - or even informed that it was happening by the bride. There is some past history between this person and The Hubby which makes her husband uncomfortable (to the point that this person has been asked to have no contact with The Hubby), so I understand her not wanting to upset him by having us there. I don't like it, and it isn't how I would run my life, but I have at least a vague understanding of why the husband wouldn't want us at the wedding and why the bride wouldn't want to pick at that wound during the ceremony. It's not like we could have gone anyway - it was out of state and we can't afford to travel right now.
The part that bothers me, and hurts, and makes me kind of angry, was that I found out about the wedding when our many, many mutual friends all started posting on their facebooks about their upcoming travel plans and how excited they were.
If we were friends, which I thought we were, it would have been nice for her to invite us so we could politely decline - or even just tell us "hey, we're getting married, but husband will not be comfortable with you there so I can't invite you". I would have understood that.
And to make it worse, we chatted over Yahoo Messenger about a week before the ceremony and she didn't mention a thing to me.
And now there's the aftermath where everyone talks about what a wonderful time it was and how beautiful the ceremony was and they post pictures featuring a lot of my friends who were there and I just sit here feeling left out.
I don't like it.
And I don't want to pick a fight, so I haven't contacted her (as I have been tempted to) to tell her exactly what I think about this.
The part that bothers me, and hurts, and makes me kind of angry, was that I found out about the wedding when our many, many mutual friends all started posting on their facebooks about their upcoming travel plans and how excited they were.
If we were friends, which I thought we were, it would have been nice for her to invite us so we could politely decline - or even just tell us "hey, we're getting married, but husband will not be comfortable with you there so I can't invite you". I would have understood that.
And to make it worse, we chatted over Yahoo Messenger about a week before the ceremony and she didn't mention a thing to me.
And now there's the aftermath where everyone talks about what a wonderful time it was and how beautiful the ceremony was and they post pictures featuring a lot of my friends who were there and I just sit here feeling left out.
I don't like it.
And I don't want to pick a fight, so I haven't contacted her (as I have been tempted to) to tell her exactly what I think about this.