(no subject)
I was asked a funny question that I will never forget. * quotes my friend* What do you want in life? After this question I sat there... staring at him. But it hit me the other day... I want to be happy.. I want a person I can be around 24-7 and care for... man or women. A friend, a lover I can trust, care for. But more importantly, care for me too. Someone I can cry to, but then turn around and be wild with. I dont know what I want anymore. I just want to have a friend around right now I can care for. One that wont be like.. oh.. Im to busy or I dont like that so Im not going. Just someone to be like hell.. I hate that movie or I hate that play but.. if your going and it means we get to hang out. OK!
I texted Chris tonight, Stupid mistake. He has school tomorrow. Thats his excuse this time. I know hes out with his friends til 1 am, and just doesnt want to come over because it will be weird, I understand it.
A friend of mine died in Iraq Thursday. Now Ive been thinking alot about death and people. At times like this I know his sister is going threw this.. feeling that no one loves her. No one is there for her. You find out who your real friends are in tight situations. Im realizing mine are all fake. For a while there thats all I wanted was fake friends. Just be there and I dont care if you like me or not. But when I went threw hard times last month, NO ONE cared.. not even an are you ok from them. I just hope nikki isnt going threw this.
I need a boyfriend right now. Im not going to die if I dont have one. I just am getting lonely. I miss that feeling of butterflies in your stomache when they walk in. That feeling you know someone wants you. Im getting sick and tired of chaseing after guys. Im sick and tired of HOPEING and PRAYING I get one that loves me. Jake has a new gf, He told me he didnt want to have any. I watched Virgin Suicides tonight. I never got the movie. All the girls wanted was to be themselves to be able to go out with the ones they wanted. They could if they really wanted to. But in the end death was a bigger adventure then living...bye...
I texted Chris tonight, Stupid mistake. He has school tomorrow. Thats his excuse this time. I know hes out with his friends til 1 am, and just doesnt want to come over because it will be weird, I understand it.
A friend of mine died in Iraq Thursday. Now Ive been thinking alot about death and people. At times like this I know his sister is going threw this.. feeling that no one loves her. No one is there for her. You find out who your real friends are in tight situations. Im realizing mine are all fake. For a while there thats all I wanted was fake friends. Just be there and I dont care if you like me or not. But when I went threw hard times last month, NO ONE cared.. not even an are you ok from them. I just hope nikki isnt going threw this.
I need a boyfriend right now. Im not going to die if I dont have one. I just am getting lonely. I miss that feeling of butterflies in your stomache when they walk in. That feeling you know someone wants you. Im getting sick and tired of chaseing after guys. Im sick and tired of HOPEING and PRAYING I get one that loves me. Jake has a new gf, He told me he didnt want to have any. I watched Virgin Suicides tonight. I never got the movie. All the girls wanted was to be themselves to be able to go out with the ones they wanted. They could if they really wanted to. But in the end death was a bigger adventure then living...bye...