Let it snow/White Christmas/Blue Christmas
I waiver between being a sentimental RETARD and a rather numb idiot. These things should be more apparent to me but I forget and relapse into thinking how I (incorrectly) do.
BUT I have so many wonderful things to look forward to.
(walking in a winter wonderland)
I can only imagine how my very substance of life is completely and utterly drab in comparison to pretty much anything or anybody. I am a waste of person. At least I accept this.
And you know what, I don't care if anyone likes what I have to say.
("may your days be merry and bright") HA HA HA
I've decided to be sarcastic and unhappy for the next month, at the very least. At least I feel like I'm being more honest with myself. And I'll get to use the F word to describe feelings. I like being myself.
(you will get a sentimental feeling, when you hear...) *fuck*
My hair is long enough for me to pull on and chew on in the front. And I like how my neck gets warm. I like feeling cozy. These are all positive thoughts.
(we're simply having a wonderful Christmas time)
...
Oh fuck. I was just dancing around in circles to this musical Christmas piece and I just about fell over.
(Well, the weather outside is frightful...)
I'm not even going to bother pin-pointing the exact cause for my cheerful disposition.
The Christmas music is coming to an end, at this very moment. They started playing "oh, Christmas tree" and that song makes me want to vomit. *sings at the top of my lungs* "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, how lovely are your branches!" What kind of song is that?
It's so unfair how I keep flying back to my past life. Like, a second ago, I was about to do a bridge, but I was like, please stop Wendy, you're going to break your back! Hehe. I just like, think I'm 10 again.
I can be immature if I want to. Sometimes it's just better feeling kidish.
Or.
Well.
Not always.
It's just better to have my mind on other things. And, apparently, there are plenty of random useless things my mind can be on. It's no big deal. Right now. It really isn't.
I'm trying to feel like there might be something deep or meaningful in my life, but, there isn't. Apparently. I guess I just don't go that far. It's not the world so it must be me.
You know, I tell myself, I should just tell the world fuck you and then do whatever the hell I feel is necessary but I've learned that isn't quite the way.
Whatever. It's not like i can't comfort myself. I can be completely oblivious until it passes over. Really. No big deal.
*haha*
*whew*
It's nice to laugh about the unimportant and meaningless...
anyway, the DJ on the edge is advising against driving on the roads. Haha. I don't really care because I know I'll be fine.
Being drunk and stoned are too very different things. I guess, it's not really that important. Why do I bother trying to analyze anything??? I know I'm crazy most of the time. Oh well.
What are the lines between the differences and which ones can be crossed? Realistically?
I feel like I never make sense because I'm not exactly direct. Oh well.
BUT I have so many wonderful things to look forward to.
(walking in a winter wonderland)
I can only imagine how my very substance of life is completely and utterly drab in comparison to pretty much anything or anybody. I am a waste of person. At least I accept this.
And you know what, I don't care if anyone likes what I have to say.
("may your days be merry and bright") HA HA HA
I've decided to be sarcastic and unhappy for the next month, at the very least. At least I feel like I'm being more honest with myself. And I'll get to use the F word to describe feelings. I like being myself.
(you will get a sentimental feeling, when you hear...) *fuck*
My hair is long enough for me to pull on and chew on in the front. And I like how my neck gets warm. I like feeling cozy. These are all positive thoughts.
(we're simply having a wonderful Christmas time)
...
Oh fuck. I was just dancing around in circles to this musical Christmas piece and I just about fell over.
(Well, the weather outside is frightful...)
I'm not even going to bother pin-pointing the exact cause for my cheerful disposition.
The Christmas music is coming to an end, at this very moment. They started playing "oh, Christmas tree" and that song makes me want to vomit. *sings at the top of my lungs* "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, how lovely are your branches!" What kind of song is that?
It's so unfair how I keep flying back to my past life. Like, a second ago, I was about to do a bridge, but I was like, please stop Wendy, you're going to break your back! Hehe. I just like, think I'm 10 again.
I can be immature if I want to. Sometimes it's just better feeling kidish.
Or.
Well.
Not always.
It's just better to have my mind on other things. And, apparently, there are plenty of random useless things my mind can be on. It's no big deal. Right now. It really isn't.
I'm trying to feel like there might be something deep or meaningful in my life, but, there isn't. Apparently. I guess I just don't go that far. It's not the world so it must be me.
You know, I tell myself, I should just tell the world fuck you and then do whatever the hell I feel is necessary but I've learned that isn't quite the way.
Whatever. It's not like i can't comfort myself. I can be completely oblivious until it passes over. Really. No big deal.
*haha*
*whew*
It's nice to laugh about the unimportant and meaningless...
anyway, the DJ on the edge is advising against driving on the roads. Haha. I don't really care because I know I'll be fine.
Being drunk and stoned are too very different things. I guess, it's not really that important. Why do I bother trying to analyze anything??? I know I'm crazy most of the time. Oh well.
What are the lines between the differences and which ones can be crossed? Realistically?
I feel like I never make sense because I'm not exactly direct. Oh well.