(no subject)
so here i am again. Another year older and dumber. Too many drugs, i want to swim im mushrooms. I want to drown myself i k...i cant fucking sleep. im fucked i have too much work and not enough time or strength. i never thought i could reach the point that i couldent do it anymore. i just cant. im a diffrent person i dont know who i am anymore. im afraid to go home because everything is gonna be diffrent. were all on diffrent planes. im a fucking whore. it dosent mattter. what anything is. i cant understand what i am typing. its fucking cold in my room. its really cold. im here at santa cruz and im cold...the heater isent on. it only comes on for a few hours so you cant see your breath. i have a midterm tomarrow. or today for that matter. its late o clock i wonder where jeremy is...anyone know? some one send me a heater and blanket im cold. maybe in some time this will pass and i will passs and well all be fucking merry. maybe maybe ill shoot her out of my head so her image isent burnt into my skull. ah i dont care i want to jump out of my window and fuck midterms and fuck college and fuck love and fuck drugs. i want to go home but you can never go back and it dosent matter because that home that place is gone and past. all thats left is what was home is now. shit i dont cant. do go bed sleep no fuck.
but none of this ever matters anyway.
but what if i love her??????????????????????
but none of this ever matters anyway.
but what if i love her??????????????????????