(no subject)
Everyone's mother is just a little bit worrysome, yells at you when they're worried, and sometimes you get grounded. I've always understood that. It's what parents do, I really do understand, and there's no need to emo over something so small. You get over those things. But ...
How do you explain to your mother that you love her, you really do, you would do anything and everything for her ...
But like, reason number one you wanna move the fuck out of her house is because lately, she is always on your ass about every god damn thing in the world; she is mad at you all the time for no fucking reason; she starts screaming at you for the stupidest shit: I didn't tell her I wasn't hungry for dinner (So? I wasn't hungry. She was cooking for herself an my sister anyway, what did I matter?), I decided not to do anything for my birthday (I haven't had birthday parties for the last 3 years because I either had no friends or had friends that didn't like each other and refused to come if the other was gonna be there. This year, I just really didn't feel like doing anything. So what? Actually, that's a lie. I really did wanna have a party. Until she felt the need to scream at me for not planning anything yet. Now I'm not even having cake and ice cream with my family because I am just THAT fed up.), and the list goes on, always stupid shit like that.
She yelled at me just now because 'Whenever I'm here, my face is in the computer or I'm sleeping.'
Well, have you ever thought that maybe I was avoiding you? That I really, REALLY don't wanna be awake when you're around because ... well, what are you gonna yell about next? My eyes being too close together? I looked at you wrong? your boyfriend pisses you off, I know. But why are you taking it out on me? That's the side of you you're showing me. THAT is what I see. You know all I ever wanted to do was be a good daughter. All of the sudden, I feel like the worst one in the world.
I want the fuck out of here, ASAP.
She was the one thing I was going to miss, leaving here. For 22 years she's been my very, very best friend. I love her, I love her, I don't want to leave her, I can't STAND being around her anymore.
Mom,
You have always been there for me. You have always been fair. You have never, ever judged me and have ALWAYS accepted me for who I was. To me, you have always been the best mom anyone could ever ask for. I should be spending these last 2 months I have here at home with you doing happy things, spending time with you like we always used to before I move 100 miles, 2 hours, a million heartbeats away in another city. Why are we spending it at each other's throats instead? I love you. I am going to miss you. My heart can't take it anymore. I am so physically and emotionally exhausted, trying to fix what I can't. Especially the things that aren't my fault. Maybe you'll enjoy life a little more without me.
Love, Always your little girl,
Ashley
How do you explain to your mother that you love her, you really do, you would do anything and everything for her ...
But like, reason number one you wanna move the fuck out of her house is because lately, she is always on your ass about every god damn thing in the world; she is mad at you all the time for no fucking reason; she starts screaming at you for the stupidest shit: I didn't tell her I wasn't hungry for dinner (So? I wasn't hungry. She was cooking for herself an my sister anyway, what did I matter?), I decided not to do anything for my birthday (I haven't had birthday parties for the last 3 years because I either had no friends or had friends that didn't like each other and refused to come if the other was gonna be there. This year, I just really didn't feel like doing anything. So what? Actually, that's a lie. I really did wanna have a party. Until she felt the need to scream at me for not planning anything yet. Now I'm not even having cake and ice cream with my family because I am just THAT fed up.), and the list goes on, always stupid shit like that.
She yelled at me just now because 'Whenever I'm here, my face is in the computer or I'm sleeping.'
Well, have you ever thought that maybe I was avoiding you? That I really, REALLY don't wanna be awake when you're around because ... well, what are you gonna yell about next? My eyes being too close together? I looked at you wrong? your boyfriend pisses you off, I know. But why are you taking it out on me? That's the side of you you're showing me. THAT is what I see. You know all I ever wanted to do was be a good daughter. All of the sudden, I feel like the worst one in the world.
I want the fuck out of here, ASAP.
She was the one thing I was going to miss, leaving here. For 22 years she's been my very, very best friend. I love her, I love her, I don't want to leave her, I can't STAND being around her anymore.
Mom,
You have always been there for me. You have always been fair. You have never, ever judged me and have ALWAYS accepted me for who I was. To me, you have always been the best mom anyone could ever ask for. I should be spending these last 2 months I have here at home with you doing happy things, spending time with you like we always used to before I move 100 miles, 2 hours, a million heartbeats away in another city. Why are we spending it at each other's throats instead? I love you. I am going to miss you. My heart can't take it anymore. I am so physically and emotionally exhausted, trying to fix what I can't. Especially the things that aren't my fault. Maybe you'll enjoy life a little more without me.
Love, Always your little girl,
Ashley