Meh
Life is really down right now. I'm stuck in the whle Mike situation. Anything I do I could end up hurt, and yet I'm already hurting. If I give him an ultimatum, chances are he won't choose me, and I really have no right to say any of the other things I want to because, honestly, I'm NOT his girlfriend. It seems like he wants me to act like it when it's convenient to him, but the rest of the time I'm just another friend to him. He stood me up a few weeks ago, and the sad thing is, I wasn't mad we didn't end up seeing each other, I don't havethat kind of luck, I always knew things would fall through. I was just upsetthat he didn't tell me. I waited around all day for a phone call or text or IM or something, and he didn't say a word. He tells me he'll call and never does. I feel like he's just using me for the summer, so then he can get back with his old girlfriend once school starts. I mean, I can't say any of this to him, what right do I really have? I talked to Morgan about it, and she agress that anything I do would either hurt me or just be uncalled for in the situation. She doesn't like him anyway, though.
I really wish I could talk to Joseph about all of this, but his dad just died, I think. He told me his dad was dying, and said that if I don' hear from him for a few days then I'll know what happened. I was talking to him Monday or Tuesday night, and he left suddenly, just saying "Gotta go, be back." I haven't heard from him since, so I'm assuming, but I asked Nick to call me and tell me, since Joseph just said I wouldn't hear from him, but Nick hasn't called. I sent him a text earlier tonight, but he hasn't responded. I feel s lost without having Joseph to talk to, I normally tell him everything, and I'm used to him being here everyday. Also, I'm scared for him, what if he changes alot? That happens to people sometimes, and I'm scared he won't be the same.
Ty just got out of the hospital. I was really worried it was anther bleed, but he's alright. I'm not exactly sure what was wrong with him, but it went away on it's own, I guess. I get so scared for him whenever he goes into the hospital. He's usually so sick when he's in there. Sometimes I'm scared he'll never make it back out. He's not even eighteen yet. He's been in the hospital ore times than I can count. He promised me he wouldn't die, not until he beat his disease. I was so scared when he went into the hospital, as everything else has ben so overwhelming lately.
Mikey got sick today, too. Not as badly as Tyler, though. He had a headache this morning, and a bit of a rash, and nw the rash has spread over his entire body. Betsy says it's a Scarlett Fever rash, which is usually associated with strep. Larry and Kerry were originally going to come over and watch Mikey and Bri while Betsy and Mike went to her great-uncle's funeral, but it was decided that there's no point exposing more people, since I've already been exposed for two days. The worst part is, I pick up strep very easily. So, now, tomorrow, I have to deal with a fussy one-year old, and a sick four-year old.
Right now, I really don't feel like writing anymore. All this has made me sad. But tomorrow I'll write about Shyla at Cheergym, camp in Maine, and my trip to Chicago. Sorry for the really long entry.
I really wish I could talk to Joseph about all of this, but his dad just died, I think. He told me his dad was dying, and said that if I don' hear from him for a few days then I'll know what happened. I was talking to him Monday or Tuesday night, and he left suddenly, just saying "Gotta go, be back." I haven't heard from him since, so I'm assuming, but I asked Nick to call me and tell me, since Joseph just said I wouldn't hear from him, but Nick hasn't called. I sent him a text earlier tonight, but he hasn't responded. I feel s lost without having Joseph to talk to, I normally tell him everything, and I'm used to him being here everyday. Also, I'm scared for him, what if he changes alot? That happens to people sometimes, and I'm scared he won't be the same.
Ty just got out of the hospital. I was really worried it was anther bleed, but he's alright. I'm not exactly sure what was wrong with him, but it went away on it's own, I guess. I get so scared for him whenever he goes into the hospital. He's usually so sick when he's in there. Sometimes I'm scared he'll never make it back out. He's not even eighteen yet. He's been in the hospital ore times than I can count. He promised me he wouldn't die, not until he beat his disease. I was so scared when he went into the hospital, as everything else has ben so overwhelming lately.
Mikey got sick today, too. Not as badly as Tyler, though. He had a headache this morning, and a bit of a rash, and nw the rash has spread over his entire body. Betsy says it's a Scarlett Fever rash, which is usually associated with strep. Larry and Kerry were originally going to come over and watch Mikey and Bri while Betsy and Mike went to her great-uncle's funeral, but it was decided that there's no point exposing more people, since I've already been exposed for two days. The worst part is, I pick up strep very easily. So, now, tomorrow, I have to deal with a fussy one-year old, and a sick four-year old.
Right now, I really don't feel like writing anymore. All this has made me sad. But tomorrow I'll write about Shyla at Cheergym, camp in Maine, and my trip to Chicago. Sorry for the really long entry.