(no subject)

[tired_of_liein]

well i guess that you might say
that we've come a long long way
but i say it's too soon to tell
if our scheme will win or fail
so get the toolbox out
it's time to find a way
to fix these broken dreams
-- agent orange

And I could try, but waking up is harder when you wanna die.

When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason. Don't you stop believing in yourself. When you're broken.

one song can spark a moment.
one tree can start a forest.
one star can guide a ship at sea.
one life can make a difference.

Kaleidoscope of colors
Turning hopes on fire, sun is burning
Shining down on both of us
Don’t let us lose it

forgive me my weakness
but I don’t know why
without you it’s hard to survive.”

sometimes you have to get fucked up to feel sober
cry to see clear & fall down a hundred times
before you learn to pick yourself back up.

music used to be my only freedom,
it would take me away
I could escape from all the harsh realities of the world.
then you came along,
and now every song reminds me of you.”

when you move on, remember me
remember us and how we used to be.

I’ll remember all the laughter
as we go our separate ways.
but there’s so much we’re still learning
and we can’t be afraid.

don’t pretend and don’t ask questions
you know what she wants
and you know you want her too.

I’ve tried getting over you
but nothing works.
there’s someone else now,
and he’s so great, it could turn into something real.
but yours is still the face
I go to bed thinking about

& I don’t hate myself
just the things I do
but I hope you can see
I’m trying to improve.

some blurry half formed picture of some half forgotten friend becomes clear but i can't hold it. it happens in my dreams but i can't remember what it was that meant so much. why do i wake up feeling that i've lost something big? why do i try to hold on to things that don't exist? don't ever try to find something you left behind. don't ever try to make a memory into something. don't ever fool yourself. it always disappears.

pictures are simply memories of who we used to be. looking back on the past i wouldn't change a thing but looking at the present i'm glad i am who i've become.

my ripped jeans,
my stained shoes,
my tear filled eyes,
all for you
and all because of you.
i am your toy,
your doll.
i am the only one always here for you to come back to,
but i'm the only one you can't talk to.

Good morning beautiful
How was your night
Mine was wonderful
With you by my side
And when I open my eyes
And see your sweet face
It's a good morning beautiful day

I didn't see the light
I didn't know day from night
I had no reason to care
But since you came along
I can face the dawn
Cause I know you'll be there
Good morning beautiful - Steve Holy

I fall to pieces
each time I see you again
I fall to pieces
how can I be just your friend?
you want me to act like we've never kissed
you want me to forget, pretend we've never met
and I've tried and I've tried but I haven't yet
you walk by, and I fall to pieces.

Sometimes I feel like throwing you in front of an oncoming train, but then, risk my life to save you.

Trust me, it's paradise. This is where the hungry come to feed. From mine it's a generation that circles the globe in search of something we haven't tried before. So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what, it's probably worth it. You hope and you dream, but you never believe that something is going to happen to you. Not like it does in the movies. And when it actually does, you expect it to feel different, more visceral, more real. I was waiting for it to hit me. And me, I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know its not some place you can look for, cause it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when your a part of something, and if you find that moment... it lasts forever.

We hope and wish to find that special person, that one person who completes us... and it hurts so much when they love someone else. When we finally do get the person of our dreams, they leave sooner or later...gone from our life like a feather floating away never to be seen again. We cry endlessly for many nights, remembering their smile, their kind words, their warm embrace. You can't help but feel joy when you think of their sweet kisses or that special feeling you got whenever you saw them. You dream of them and wake up smiling, until you realize it was only a dream and the closest thing you have to that person are the memories and times you shared, that made it all worthwhile. I guess that's why we torture ourselves with love. -Lisa Gilbert

My life had changed because of you
And I need you right here with me
There's no substitute for you
As far as I can see
You're the one for me

It's amazing what one person can do. Some people build you up just to bend and break you. Some people bring out parts of you that you had no clue existed. All throughout life we meet people and every single one of them brings something to us, gives us some sort of purpose. We come across people that will hurt us so incredibly much that it seems unbearable to go on with our lives, but the truth is - We can overcome anything we want to if we believe in it enough, if we have faith in ourselves, in who we are. The most important thing in life is to find yourself, know who you are at all times and stand by that for the rest of your life. No one has the right to tell you who you are or try and control your life because it's yours. Your life is meant to be lived by no one else but yourself. We sometimes let people get the best of us, destroy us and change our opinions on what we believe is true. Only you can know what is right for yourself, you have the power, you make the choices and you learn. Each experience we go through in life is a lesson to be learned. We all make mistakes, why is that so hard for some to understand? No one should be judged by the mistakes they have made. It's past news. Everything happens for a reason, and without the hard times, how would we ever realize our truth strength? It's only through a time of suffering when we realize how strong we truly are inside, when we realize how much we can actually put up with and deal with before we eventually break. Life is a roller coaster, a never ending cycle. Every person is unique and beautiful in their own way. Each individual has a beauty that is unexpressed. Beauty is within. You love a person for how they make you feel, for their courage and compassion. I believe we always go back to the people that were there in the beginning. You create so much history with certain people, they become a part of you, they're in your heart. Even though miles may seperate you and maybe you have even grown apart, there are those certain people that will somehow always be in your heart forever.

-Ali Kramer

I learned that the greatest thing about high school isnt the parties or the drinking or the hook-ups... It's the friendships which means taking chances. I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about. I learned that letters from friends are the most important thing, And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. But, basically, I just learned that my friends Both OLD & NEW Are the most important people to me in the world And without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. So this is a thank you to all of my friends For always being there and I love you.

If you avoid certain situations because you're worried about the outcome, you never get to learn what would have happened if you had faced those situations. You deprive yourself of the chance to see how you would have coped. When you decide to avoid, you experience a temporary state of relief, but you're also left feeling powerless and deflated, as if you can't control your own behavior. Eventually you become discouraged and disheartened as a vague sense of feeling paralyzed sets in. This is how avoidance slowly eats away your self-confidence over time... Push yourself to feel vulnerable- this allows you to learn that you can handle whatever happens, and that even the most difficult of emotions can't destroy you. We're all capable of feeling intense fear so we can escpape life-threatening situations... But usually people avoid things that simply make them feel uncomfortable.

I don't want you to love me for my eyes or my personality or the way I laugh.
I don't want you to love me because I'm so different from everyone else you've met.
I want you to love me for me.
And I want it to be a love that is true and real and not something that exists purely because you're lonely and need someone.

love & heartache.
a writer's 2 best friends.

Never will I forget you, and all the memories past,
So rarely I get to see your face,
Growing I looked to you in guidance.
We knew that time would kill us, but you're still so close to me,

To me you were my life,
To me you were my soul companion,
Now you are so far away,
Nothing can take away the time and the memories we had,
Come back - to the days when we were young
Come back - to the days when nothing mattered-avenged sevenfold

Let me go back to the way I was before we met.
Back to the days when I was strong,
When it wasn't sad to be alone,
When I was happy-go-lucky.
And I didn't know how good it felt,
To hold you and feel my heart melt.
-Julie Roberts

We picked up our caps and gowns and all that senior stuff that’s supposed to help us remember the good ole days, but some of the things that you remember the most, can’t be put on paper. That day finally came, and you sat there with all the friends you had made over the years … you looked out at your family and deep down, you knew that this was a once in a lifetime moment. It was the last time in your life that all these people would be together in once place. Yeah, there would be reunions, but there was always the chance that one person wouldn’t make it there. You looked back on your time with these people and realized it was short lived and that it didn’t seem as if there was enough time for everything that you wanted to accomplish … sports, activities, SAT, ACT, and all that good stuff. They called your name, your tassel got turned, and you got a piece of paper that said you were smart. Then you said good-bye … maybe to your town, and that school and your friends. You know that you can go back to visit, but there will be strangers in the halls and it’s not the same. It’s different … you’re different … but it’s not the end. In fact, everything is just the beginning.

There are moments when your life changes. Moments in which there is a look, a touch, a hello, or a conversation. Moments, single moments, when everything changes with no hope of changing back. These moments that lead to a series of events that lead to everything being different, and I mean EVERYTHING. The way you feel, the way you see the world, and yourself, how you act everyday...it changes. It all changes because of single moment, a single happening. You don't plan for it, it just happens, blindsiding you at ten to ten on a monday morning. Something small, like one of those people who are supposed to be a big part of your life walks by for the first time and your eyes meet, and at that moment you can almost hear your familiarty shattering around you, and you can almost feel time stop, and yeah you know, it's one of those moments...

little boy: "do you want to give me your heart?"
little girl: "well do you love me? "
little boy: " of course i love you "
little girl:"well how much do you love me? is it
an m&m's worth of love, and if it is then what
color m&m, i dont want to waste my heart on a
boy that only loves me as much as one of those
yucky brown m&m's he hasta love me at least
a red ...or blue..green maybe&yellow at the least"
little boy: " i love you a thousand red m&m's "

I walked through those doors with a half smile on my face. I walked in expecting to see those "big seniors" shoving through the hallways: laughing, giving each other bad times … I expected to see them taking their last year and absorbing it all. I expected them to look at me and think, "Just another lower classman." I expected to have one or two in my classes, giving the teachers a hard time because they’re a "big senior". I expected to see my senior friends’ faces and to make my last year with them the best that I could. I expected to have a couple more years in this place. If not that, then at least one more. I guess I expected all of the wrong things because I knew that the second I walked through those doors, I had become "a big senior". This is it, my last year of high school, my last year of those homework assignments that I complained about every day of those four years I had been here. Give them back, please, give me back those essays … those book reports … they’ll never compare to the things I’m going to have to face in this real world that isn’t even a year away from hitting me right in the face. Let me keep my friends, please. I’ve been with some of these people since kindergarten. How can it all stop just like that? Better yet, where did it go? How did I let time slip by so fast? Give me time, just let me tell all these people … all of my friends … how much they mean to me. Let me go back to my freshman year, to tell my teachers how much I really did learn. Give me the time to tell them that what they did for not only me … but for everyone else in this place DID make an impact on our lives. Stop. Let me tell all of those people who said, "It’ll go by fast" how right they were. Slow down … just please slow down. How sad it is, to think that the first day of my last year is gone. I can’t bring back the past, but I can make the future a past that I’ll remember … for the rest of my life. After all, I am … a big senior.

And I guess I'm just scared. Scared of everything.
But I do that sometimes. I overanalyze alot of things
that should simply be left alone and I become
terrified of nothing. And I can't help but to be
scared of what might happen now. Because now that
we're both in this thing together...now that I've got you...
I've got something to lose. Cause I've seen relationships
fall apart...and I've seen bonds break with the snap
of a finger. And I'm terrified of losing this wonderful
feeling that I feel whenever I'm around you. I'm not
really sure how to explain it, but you take my breath away.
You really do. And it's the most amazing thing I've
ever known. I know it and I feel it and I feel you, and
it's beautiful. And I don't ever want to lose that.
I don't ever want to lose you. "