Whatever Remains of an Argument...
If an 18 year old has sex with a 14 year old, can the 18 year old be put on the sex offender's registry and have it be called justice?
I think this was the gist of an argument Kent and I just got into. It wasn't even our argument. Kent and Kurt got into it and Kent was ranting to me about it. Not how I wanted to spend the first conversation I've had in a long time with him.
He was upset because Kurt had painted Rob as the bad guy and Kent as the victim. I more or less agreed with him. More, in that Rob should have shown restraint and Kent should have given it thought, less in that I don't believe Kent deserved the label of victim.
Truly told, the only parts that bothered me were that Kent was saying he wasn't worried about my opinion of him and it wasn't himself he was defending. Granted, he admitted that people could view him however they liked, as long as it wasn't as a victim.
...
I wasn't about to point out this discrepancy.
Anyway, he was arguing because it was unjust to treat Rob like that because Kent was the one who instigated and Rob merely accepted.
This is my problem with that.
For me, age is a number. I will treat you precisely how you behave. A sign of maturity for me is accepting responsibility for your actions, including any consequences, such as accepting that, had they been caught or reported, Rob would have been put on the sex offender's registry and that people would view Kent as a victim. You can't accept that, maybe you shouldn't do it until that concern is no longer an issue.
He fought back with an "excuse me for living in the moment" argument.
He then proceeded to point out how both Kurt and I had lived in the moment under circumstances that should have had more forethought.
Obviously, that's going to piss me off.
I wasn't making it personal, I wasn't targeting him, I wasn't even calling him a victim. So, why am I being attacked? Whatever. I don't care, because I didn't know Rob or Kent at the time, so it doesn't affect me one way or the other. And I don't give two shits about Rob, because his life isn't my business. The same for Kent's life before I met him, although I do care quite a bit more about his life on certain points.
I do not believe I was wrong. I hold myself to those standards and I hold those in my life to those standards, too. For some reason, Kent doesn't understand this. Is it distance, a lack of communication, or growing apart? I'm not sure. I do know that the next time we talk, I won't care, because it isn't important. If he holds a grudge, by all means, go for it. I'm moving on.
That's all, I guess, lol.
I think this was the gist of an argument Kent and I just got into. It wasn't even our argument. Kent and Kurt got into it and Kent was ranting to me about it. Not how I wanted to spend the first conversation I've had in a long time with him.
He was upset because Kurt had painted Rob as the bad guy and Kent as the victim. I more or less agreed with him. More, in that Rob should have shown restraint and Kent should have given it thought, less in that I don't believe Kent deserved the label of victim.
Truly told, the only parts that bothered me were that Kent was saying he wasn't worried about my opinion of him and it wasn't himself he was defending. Granted, he admitted that people could view him however they liked, as long as it wasn't as a victim.
...
I wasn't about to point out this discrepancy.
Anyway, he was arguing because it was unjust to treat Rob like that because Kent was the one who instigated and Rob merely accepted.
This is my problem with that.
For me, age is a number. I will treat you precisely how you behave. A sign of maturity for me is accepting responsibility for your actions, including any consequences, such as accepting that, had they been caught or reported, Rob would have been put on the sex offender's registry and that people would view Kent as a victim. You can't accept that, maybe you shouldn't do it until that concern is no longer an issue.
He fought back with an "excuse me for living in the moment" argument.
He then proceeded to point out how both Kurt and I had lived in the moment under circumstances that should have had more forethought.
Obviously, that's going to piss me off.
I wasn't making it personal, I wasn't targeting him, I wasn't even calling him a victim. So, why am I being attacked? Whatever. I don't care, because I didn't know Rob or Kent at the time, so it doesn't affect me one way or the other. And I don't give two shits about Rob, because his life isn't my business. The same for Kent's life before I met him, although I do care quite a bit more about his life on certain points.
I do not believe I was wrong. I hold myself to those standards and I hold those in my life to those standards, too. For some reason, Kent doesn't understand this. Is it distance, a lack of communication, or growing apart? I'm not sure. I do know that the next time we talk, I won't care, because it isn't important. If he holds a grudge, by all means, go for it. I'm moving on.
That's all, I guess, lol.