Somedays, Ch 4: Professional Opinions
Title: Somedays, Chapter 4: Professional Opinions
Author: tiramisoup
Fandom: Mass Effect
Wordcount: 2,589
Characters: f!Shepard, Kaidan Alenko
Pairings: primary: Shepard/Kaidan; includes: Kaidan/other, Shepard/Garrus, Shepard/Liara
Genre: romance, drama, angst
Rating: M
Warnings: strong language, violence, non-explicit sex/suggestive language, het/femslash/xenophilia, Shepard crying
Disclaimer: Mass Effect and all characters and settings are owned by BioWare.
Notes: Set during ME2, includes spoilers for ME2, ME2 DLC, and published ME3 spoilers. Shepard background: Colonist/Ruthless/Vanguard, roughly equal paragon/renegade scores.
Chapter Summary: Shepard pays Anderson a visit. Kaidan files his report.
Chapter Index | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Somedays
Chapter 4: Professional Opinions
******
The Citadel was a shining bastion of civilization in a brutal, vicious galaxy. Once you learned to overlook the fact that it was actually an elaborate death-trap created by horrific AIs from the hellish depths of dark space, it was really quite charming.
Shepard leaned against a railing in the Presidium's financial district. She looked around nonchalantly, taking in the flow of traffic, the shoppers bartering with the proprietor in a nearby store, the artificial sky and artificial breeze and artificial lake. She could see the Conduit not far away, cordoned off as serious looking people with serious looking tech idled around it. Two years later, and the scientists still hadn't taken the damn thing apart.
She shifted her attention, running a practiced eye over her new team. They were definitely no amateurs. Each woman was as skilled in the arts of deception as she was in the arts of killing a man dead in colorful and inventive ways. They were also armed to the teeth, despite the apparent absence of anything more powerful than a pistol.
Kasumi Goto, the galaxy's most and least famous thief, was smelling the flowers, probably thinking about purloining a rare orchid.
Miranda Lawson, dyed-in-the-wool Cerberus Loyalist and possibly Cheerleader, was staring across the lake, probably thinking . . . well, it was hard to tell what Miranda was ever thinking. She played it closer to the vest than Kaidan did. And she wore remarkably less vest. Shepard made a mental note to do something about that.
Kaidan, though. Well, Kaidan had been pretty talkative the first time they'd arrived together on the Citadel.
Shepard strolled along the causeway toward the embassies, lost in memories.
When they'd docked after Eden Prime, she'd been worried about Saren. That worry had been pushed out of her mind as she took in the size and scope of the station. She hadn't had words for the beauty of the Citadel: the vastness of the Ward arms or the majesty of the Presidium ring. Her eyes had roamed the sleek facades of ivory buildings, listening with pleasure to Kaidan and Ashley's running commentary, content to let her junior officers bicker and tease each other like siblings. She'd had siblings, once. Before the raid.
Shepard blinked back tears. The last thing she needed right now was to show up in front of Anderson looking like an emotional basket-case.
She inhaled deeply, remembering Ash's smart-mouthed quips and Kaidan's blushing, ineffectual attempts to correct himself, digging a deeper hole with every word. It wasn't all bad. She picked up her stride.
"Big place!" she called out with a smile, as her companions hastened to catch up with her.
******
"I thought we were friends," Shepard said, a trace of exasperation in her voice. She crossed her arms and leaned back on her heels. This meeting sucked so far, and showed no signs of improvement. "I never expected you to go behind my back."
Captain David Anderson, now Councilor Anderson, shook his head as leaned against the balcony in the human embassy. "We didn't know about you at the time. And I wouldn't have told you if I did. What if the Illusive Man was manipulating you? Lying to you? The report actually confirmed your story."
She bit back her retort. She'd talked to Anderson weeks ago, before Horizon. He damn well knew about her. Alliance Intel, as usual, was spectacularly lacking in the actual intelligence department. If she had been a Cerberus pawn, no way in hell would Kaidan's presence on Horizon have made a damn difference. If it had been Cerberus, and she'd been doing their dirty work, the whole colony would be gone, Kaidan with it, and the Alliance would be right back where they started: without a Spectre to run their errands.
Not only did they not trust her, they also thought she was incompetent enough to get caught.
Anderson sighed. "I still don't trust Cerberus, but they were right about the Collectors abducting the colonists."
Shepard tapped her foot impatiently. She'd trusted Anderson, her mentor, her Captain, her harbor in the storm of fubar that was the Saren investigation. And now he did this to her.
He'd sent Kaidan off to Horizon with rumors and innuendo, but never bothered to confirm or deny, to tell him that she'd been on the Citadel, that she had tried to find him, that she had played nice with the Council for the sake of her mission, or even what her mission was. Didn't even tell him she was actually, honestly alive.
And then the bastard had stonewalled her when she'd specifically asked about her former lieutenant, claiming he couldn't trust her.
Trust. Ha! She was the only trustworthy person in this whole farce.
"Unfortunately, Alenko didn't find anything to convince the Council that the Reapers are behind this. Or even that they exist."
Well duh, she thought childishly. She'd told Kaidan as much. The Council never believed anything you tried to tell them. You could land a Reaper right on top of their chambers, and they'd claim is was just a really special geth ship. It took a really special sort of political mind to be that fucking stupid.
"I better go," she said with a scowl. Before I throw you over the ledge and have to explain to C-Sec why the human councilor has an unfortunately broken neck.
"My door is always open," Anderson said. He sounded sincere. But he'd sincerely told her to fuck off and stop being nosy, too.
Shepard left the office, bumping into Udina on her way out the door. She waved a hand at him without stopping. She walked right past Kasumi and Miranda; they could catch up if they wanted to, and if they had any sense, the wouldn't want to. She weaved her way through petitioners and embassy staff in the courtyard, heading for the nearest elevator. She needed to get to the docking bay and get off the station before she caused a 'diplomatic incident'. She pressed the summons button and banged her forehead against the glass door as she waited.
Anderson was an ass, and it was her fault.
She should have nominated Udina for the Council position, and then Anderson would still be military, instead of a politician with a stick up his ass and a hard-on for classified information. She could work with military. Hell, give her ten minutes alone with Admiral Hackett and she could probably find out almost anything she wanted to know-in a roundabout way involving a lot of solemn denials and harrumphing on Hackett's part, of course-but that was better than the constant stream of platitudes and nothing that Anderson spewed forth.
Politicians? Fuck 'em. At least Udina was a known quantity: everyone knew he was a complete son of a bitch who'd fuck you sideways and then throw you to streets for a pat on the head from the Council.
Why exactly had she saved the Council? Had it possibly been because Kaidan had been at her side, blathering about preserving galactic stability or some other cockeyed bullshit?
It was definitely not because she had wanted to rub their smug alien noses in the fact that they had cut her off, and she'd still turned around and pulled their asses out of the fire. She was not that petty. And they, pack of ingrates that they were, wouldn't have appreciated it, anyway.
Ha, she thought darkly as the elevator chimed its arrival.
Somewhere, someone needed her boot up their ass. She was going to find that someone, and make them very sorry.
******
Kaidan sat at his comm terminal, staring at the screen.
The cursor blinked at him judgmentally.
The first thing he'd done upon waking was send a bare-bones report to Anderson detailing the situation, then another message to the nearest Alliance vessel requesting immediate passage for a Council Spectre.
Then he'd checked on the colonists. Whatever stasis tech the Collectors used wore off slowly, but at least it was wearing off. The freed colonists were confused, groggy, but appeared unharmed. That had taken most of the day, and there were still a few that had yet to revive. It was possible they never would.
He'd checked on the colony supplies: they had food, and water, and power. There was some structural damage where Shepard had fought the Collectors, and there were still those ghastly pods and dead bodies littered throughout the colony. He'd left Delan to deal with that; it was obvious the man wanted nothing to do with him, and the majority of the colonists were still refusing his help.
Kaidan didn't want to be there, anyway.
He'd checked on the defense systems: all online and functioning properly. Thanks to Shepard.
It stung a little that she'd come along and fixed the problem so easily. She didn't even like tech. She teased him when he pulled apart an interesting new piece of equipment, studying the circuitry and component design. She called him a nerd, bemoaning her bad luck in falling in love with a techie, claiming she was going to run off with a marine who liked guns instead of omni-tools.
He missed that.
He missed her.
But it was embarrassing to be rescued, yet again, by Shepard, when he should have been able to do the job himself. It was humiliating and infuriating that he'd been sent off to protect the colony, and when the moment came, he was, very literally, paralyzed.
Now he had to write a report explaining his failure to the Council.
So he sat, staring at a blank document, the cursor mocking his inadequacy.
A message flashed across the screen, startling him. A reprieve? No. An incoming tightbeam transmission from the Citadel. Perfect. He could explain himself directly, so everyone could see how upset he was.
He rubbed his hands over his face, painfully aware that he hadn't taken the time to shave that morning, and opened the vid link.
Anderson flickered into view, his image grainy and orange. As someone who enjoyed tech, Kaidan was a little offended that they were living in the twenty-second century and holovid technology was still so bad. Full color holos were relatively new on the market, and they still suffered from poor resolution and interlacing artifacts. If you actually wanted a decent picture, you had to go with a traditional display-which meant if you wanted portable, you were stuck with grainy, orange people.
"Commander," Anderson said. "We received your message. We're all awaiting your full report."
"I'm sorry, sir," Kaidan said, feeling slightly aggrieved; Shepard had never had to deal with this kind of nannying from the Council. "I felt it was important to ensure the safety of the colonists before-" reporting their safety prematurely? telling you everything was aces? "-finalizing the mission report."
"Understandable, Commander. Do you have anything else to add?"
Kaidan nodded. "Most of the colonists are fine, given the circumstances. No apparent medical problems, though there may be psychological issues. The colony should be salvageable, if the colonists choose to remain here. They've lost a lot of people, though. Too many to pick up where they left off. I doubt they'll welcome any more assistance from the Alliance; most of them blame me for the attack.
"The GARDIAN defense system is functional, it should prevent any further attacks, from Collectors or anyone else. I'm not sure how Shepard did it."
"Commander Shepard has always had an impressive knack for pulling off the impossible," Anderson said with a smile.
That's what I love about her, thought Kaidan, but continued with the pertinent details. "She was with Cerberus," he said, trying to keep his voice neutral. "Leading a team, in fact. She was accompanied by a Cerberus operative, identity unknown, and Garrus Vakarian."
"The C-Sec officer? He fell off our radar after Shepard died."
"Former C-Sec officer, yes, sir. I'm not sure how long they've been in touch."
"I can't believe Cerberus is working with aliens," Anderson said, shaking his head. "They must be desperate."
"It may not be entirely voluntary, sir. Shepard can be . . . quite forceful," said Kaidan, remembering her preferred methods of persuasion.
"Point taken, Commander. Your previous report mentioned Collectors. Can you elaborate?"
"Yes, sir. The Collectors have some sort of . . . bug, like a large wasp. They move in swarms. The sting paralyzes the victim within a few moments, leaving them fully aware but unable to move. The Collectors then place their victims in pods for transport to their ship. They left dozens of the pods behind when they fled; I've had a few moved to secure storage. They should be available for study. The Collectors were also using husks."
"Yes, you mentioned them," said Anderson, "geth husks."
"Reaper husks, sir," Kaidan corrected.
Anderson raised an eyebrow. "Commander Alenko, I know you and the Council have . . . divergent opinions on the Reapers, but it's possible that the Collectors simply traded the geth for this technology."
Kaidan ran a hand through his hair, frowning. Anderson had a point.
"I know you want to believe Shepard. I want to believe her, too. But the Council won't accept that. They need facts."
Kaidan shook his head ruefully. That's what he'd told Shepard the other day. Tried to tell her. When had he turned into the Council's mouthpiece?
"These husks are different than the ones the geth used. I secured specimens of them, as well."
Anderson nodded his approval. "Good work, Commander."
"Thank you, sir. I just wish. . . ." Kaidan trailed off.
I wish I could have done something. I wish I could have followed her. I wish I could have made her stay with me. I wish I could have saved her. I wish-
"You wish you could have saved more people," Anderson said gently, interrupting Kaidan's thoughts.
Kaidan bowed his head, hoping his face wouldn't betray his emotions. "Sir," he said quietly.
Anderson sighed. "Kaidan, I know it must be difficult, trying to balance your role as a Spectre and an ambassador for the Alliance, but I have faith in you. I know you'll do what's best for the mission, and the safety of the colonists."
Kaidan blinked. That was unexpected.
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate that."
Anderson nodded. "There's something I think you should know. Commander Shepard stopped by to see me. She was . . . concerned."
Kaidan's head jerked up. Shepard was visiting Anderson?
"I couldn't tell her everything, of course. Not until we're sure where her loyalties lie. But the Council has reinstated her Spectre status, unofficially. She claims Cerberus is investigating Collector abductions; your report confirmed that."
"Sir," Kaidan hesitated. Should he tell Anderson? It would be in the full report, anyway. Anderson should know. Did he have to know now? No. But the words tumbled out, anyway. "She claims she was dead, sir. She really believes it. And Joker saw her-"
"Joker's with Cerberus now, Alenko," Anderson reminded him.
"I know. But-"
"Resurrection is impossible, Commander." Anderson shook his head. "Reapers are one thing-we all saw Sovereign-but we don't know what Cerberus did to her. I believe that she believes it, but you know we can't trust Cerberus. And we can't trust her as long as she's under the Illusive Man's thumb."
Kaidan swallowed the bile rising in his throat. Anderson was right. He knew Anderson was right. That's exactly what he'd told Shepard. He'd believed it then. But now . . . now he just wanted her back.
"I understand, sir."
Author: tiramisoup
Fandom: Mass Effect
Wordcount: 2,589
Characters: f!Shepard, Kaidan Alenko
Pairings: primary: Shepard/Kaidan; includes: Kaidan/other, Shepard/Garrus, Shepard/Liara
Genre: romance, drama, angst
Rating: M
Warnings: strong language, violence, non-explicit sex/suggestive language, het/femslash/xenophilia, Shepard crying
Disclaimer: Mass Effect and all characters and settings are owned by BioWare.
Notes: Set during ME2, includes spoilers for ME2, ME2 DLC, and published ME3 spoilers. Shepard background: Colonist/Ruthless/Vanguard, roughly equal paragon/renegade scores.
Chapter Summary: Shepard pays Anderson a visit. Kaidan files his report.
Chapter Index | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Somedays
Chapter 4: Professional Opinions
******
The Citadel was a shining bastion of civilization in a brutal, vicious galaxy. Once you learned to overlook the fact that it was actually an elaborate death-trap created by horrific AIs from the hellish depths of dark space, it was really quite charming.
Shepard leaned against a railing in the Presidium's financial district. She looked around nonchalantly, taking in the flow of traffic, the shoppers bartering with the proprietor in a nearby store, the artificial sky and artificial breeze and artificial lake. She could see the Conduit not far away, cordoned off as serious looking people with serious looking tech idled around it. Two years later, and the scientists still hadn't taken the damn thing apart.
She shifted her attention, running a practiced eye over her new team. They were definitely no amateurs. Each woman was as skilled in the arts of deception as she was in the arts of killing a man dead in colorful and inventive ways. They were also armed to the teeth, despite the apparent absence of anything more powerful than a pistol.
Kasumi Goto, the galaxy's most and least famous thief, was smelling the flowers, probably thinking about purloining a rare orchid.
Miranda Lawson, dyed-in-the-wool Cerberus Loyalist and possibly Cheerleader, was staring across the lake, probably thinking . . . well, it was hard to tell what Miranda was ever thinking. She played it closer to the vest than Kaidan did. And she wore remarkably less vest. Shepard made a mental note to do something about that.
Kaidan, though. Well, Kaidan had been pretty talkative the first time they'd arrived together on the Citadel.
Shepard strolled along the causeway toward the embassies, lost in memories.
When they'd docked after Eden Prime, she'd been worried about Saren. That worry had been pushed out of her mind as she took in the size and scope of the station. She hadn't had words for the beauty of the Citadel: the vastness of the Ward arms or the majesty of the Presidium ring. Her eyes had roamed the sleek facades of ivory buildings, listening with pleasure to Kaidan and Ashley's running commentary, content to let her junior officers bicker and tease each other like siblings. She'd had siblings, once. Before the raid.
Shepard blinked back tears. The last thing she needed right now was to show up in front of Anderson looking like an emotional basket-case.
She inhaled deeply, remembering Ash's smart-mouthed quips and Kaidan's blushing, ineffectual attempts to correct himself, digging a deeper hole with every word. It wasn't all bad. She picked up her stride.
"Big place!" she called out with a smile, as her companions hastened to catch up with her.
******
"I thought we were friends," Shepard said, a trace of exasperation in her voice. She crossed her arms and leaned back on her heels. This meeting sucked so far, and showed no signs of improvement. "I never expected you to go behind my back."
Captain David Anderson, now Councilor Anderson, shook his head as leaned against the balcony in the human embassy. "We didn't know about you at the time. And I wouldn't have told you if I did. What if the Illusive Man was manipulating you? Lying to you? The report actually confirmed your story."
She bit back her retort. She'd talked to Anderson weeks ago, before Horizon. He damn well knew about her. Alliance Intel, as usual, was spectacularly lacking in the actual intelligence department. If she had been a Cerberus pawn, no way in hell would Kaidan's presence on Horizon have made a damn difference. If it had been Cerberus, and she'd been doing their dirty work, the whole colony would be gone, Kaidan with it, and the Alliance would be right back where they started: without a Spectre to run their errands.
Not only did they not trust her, they also thought she was incompetent enough to get caught.
Anderson sighed. "I still don't trust Cerberus, but they were right about the Collectors abducting the colonists."
Shepard tapped her foot impatiently. She'd trusted Anderson, her mentor, her Captain, her harbor in the storm of fubar that was the Saren investigation. And now he did this to her.
He'd sent Kaidan off to Horizon with rumors and innuendo, but never bothered to confirm or deny, to tell him that she'd been on the Citadel, that she had tried to find him, that she had played nice with the Council for the sake of her mission, or even what her mission was. Didn't even tell him she was actually, honestly alive.
And then the bastard had stonewalled her when she'd specifically asked about her former lieutenant, claiming he couldn't trust her.
Trust. Ha! She was the only trustworthy person in this whole farce.
"Unfortunately, Alenko didn't find anything to convince the Council that the Reapers are behind this. Or even that they exist."
Well duh, she thought childishly. She'd told Kaidan as much. The Council never believed anything you tried to tell them. You could land a Reaper right on top of their chambers, and they'd claim is was just a really special geth ship. It took a really special sort of political mind to be that fucking stupid.
"I better go," she said with a scowl. Before I throw you over the ledge and have to explain to C-Sec why the human councilor has an unfortunately broken neck.
"My door is always open," Anderson said. He sounded sincere. But he'd sincerely told her to fuck off and stop being nosy, too.
Shepard left the office, bumping into Udina on her way out the door. She waved a hand at him without stopping. She walked right past Kasumi and Miranda; they could catch up if they wanted to, and if they had any sense, the wouldn't want to. She weaved her way through petitioners and embassy staff in the courtyard, heading for the nearest elevator. She needed to get to the docking bay and get off the station before she caused a 'diplomatic incident'. She pressed the summons button and banged her forehead against the glass door as she waited.
Anderson was an ass, and it was her fault.
She should have nominated Udina for the Council position, and then Anderson would still be military, instead of a politician with a stick up his ass and a hard-on for classified information. She could work with military. Hell, give her ten minutes alone with Admiral Hackett and she could probably find out almost anything she wanted to know-in a roundabout way involving a lot of solemn denials and harrumphing on Hackett's part, of course-but that was better than the constant stream of platitudes and nothing that Anderson spewed forth.
Politicians? Fuck 'em. At least Udina was a known quantity: everyone knew he was a complete son of a bitch who'd fuck you sideways and then throw you to streets for a pat on the head from the Council.
Why exactly had she saved the Council? Had it possibly been because Kaidan had been at her side, blathering about preserving galactic stability or some other cockeyed bullshit?
It was definitely not because she had wanted to rub their smug alien noses in the fact that they had cut her off, and she'd still turned around and pulled their asses out of the fire. She was not that petty. And they, pack of ingrates that they were, wouldn't have appreciated it, anyway.
Ha, she thought darkly as the elevator chimed its arrival.
Somewhere, someone needed her boot up their ass. She was going to find that someone, and make them very sorry.
******
Kaidan sat at his comm terminal, staring at the screen.
The cursor blinked at him judgmentally.
The first thing he'd done upon waking was send a bare-bones report to Anderson detailing the situation, then another message to the nearest Alliance vessel requesting immediate passage for a Council Spectre.
Then he'd checked on the colonists. Whatever stasis tech the Collectors used wore off slowly, but at least it was wearing off. The freed colonists were confused, groggy, but appeared unharmed. That had taken most of the day, and there were still a few that had yet to revive. It was possible they never would.
He'd checked on the colony supplies: they had food, and water, and power. There was some structural damage where Shepard had fought the Collectors, and there were still those ghastly pods and dead bodies littered throughout the colony. He'd left Delan to deal with that; it was obvious the man wanted nothing to do with him, and the majority of the colonists were still refusing his help.
Kaidan didn't want to be there, anyway.
He'd checked on the defense systems: all online and functioning properly. Thanks to Shepard.
It stung a little that she'd come along and fixed the problem so easily. She didn't even like tech. She teased him when he pulled apart an interesting new piece of equipment, studying the circuitry and component design. She called him a nerd, bemoaning her bad luck in falling in love with a techie, claiming she was going to run off with a marine who liked guns instead of omni-tools.
He missed that.
He missed her.
But it was embarrassing to be rescued, yet again, by Shepard, when he should have been able to do the job himself. It was humiliating and infuriating that he'd been sent off to protect the colony, and when the moment came, he was, very literally, paralyzed.
Now he had to write a report explaining his failure to the Council.
So he sat, staring at a blank document, the cursor mocking his inadequacy.
A message flashed across the screen, startling him. A reprieve? No. An incoming tightbeam transmission from the Citadel. Perfect. He could explain himself directly, so everyone could see how upset he was.
He rubbed his hands over his face, painfully aware that he hadn't taken the time to shave that morning, and opened the vid link.
Anderson flickered into view, his image grainy and orange. As someone who enjoyed tech, Kaidan was a little offended that they were living in the twenty-second century and holovid technology was still so bad. Full color holos were relatively new on the market, and they still suffered from poor resolution and interlacing artifacts. If you actually wanted a decent picture, you had to go with a traditional display-which meant if you wanted portable, you were stuck with grainy, orange people.
"Commander," Anderson said. "We received your message. We're all awaiting your full report."
"I'm sorry, sir," Kaidan said, feeling slightly aggrieved; Shepard had never had to deal with this kind of nannying from the Council. "I felt it was important to ensure the safety of the colonists before-" reporting their safety prematurely? telling you everything was aces? "-finalizing the mission report."
"Understandable, Commander. Do you have anything else to add?"
Kaidan nodded. "Most of the colonists are fine, given the circumstances. No apparent medical problems, though there may be psychological issues. The colony should be salvageable, if the colonists choose to remain here. They've lost a lot of people, though. Too many to pick up where they left off. I doubt they'll welcome any more assistance from the Alliance; most of them blame me for the attack.
"The GARDIAN defense system is functional, it should prevent any further attacks, from Collectors or anyone else. I'm not sure how Shepard did it."
"Commander Shepard has always had an impressive knack for pulling off the impossible," Anderson said with a smile.
That's what I love about her, thought Kaidan, but continued with the pertinent details. "She was with Cerberus," he said, trying to keep his voice neutral. "Leading a team, in fact. She was accompanied by a Cerberus operative, identity unknown, and Garrus Vakarian."
"The C-Sec officer? He fell off our radar after Shepard died."
"Former C-Sec officer, yes, sir. I'm not sure how long they've been in touch."
"I can't believe Cerberus is working with aliens," Anderson said, shaking his head. "They must be desperate."
"It may not be entirely voluntary, sir. Shepard can be . . . quite forceful," said Kaidan, remembering her preferred methods of persuasion.
"Point taken, Commander. Your previous report mentioned Collectors. Can you elaborate?"
"Yes, sir. The Collectors have some sort of . . . bug, like a large wasp. They move in swarms. The sting paralyzes the victim within a few moments, leaving them fully aware but unable to move. The Collectors then place their victims in pods for transport to their ship. They left dozens of the pods behind when they fled; I've had a few moved to secure storage. They should be available for study. The Collectors were also using husks."
"Yes, you mentioned them," said Anderson, "geth husks."
"Reaper husks, sir," Kaidan corrected.
Anderson raised an eyebrow. "Commander Alenko, I know you and the Council have . . . divergent opinions on the Reapers, but it's possible that the Collectors simply traded the geth for this technology."
Kaidan ran a hand through his hair, frowning. Anderson had a point.
"I know you want to believe Shepard. I want to believe her, too. But the Council won't accept that. They need facts."
Kaidan shook his head ruefully. That's what he'd told Shepard the other day. Tried to tell her. When had he turned into the Council's mouthpiece?
"These husks are different than the ones the geth used. I secured specimens of them, as well."
Anderson nodded his approval. "Good work, Commander."
"Thank you, sir. I just wish. . . ." Kaidan trailed off.
I wish I could have done something. I wish I could have followed her. I wish I could have made her stay with me. I wish I could have saved her. I wish-
"You wish you could have saved more people," Anderson said gently, interrupting Kaidan's thoughts.
Kaidan bowed his head, hoping his face wouldn't betray his emotions. "Sir," he said quietly.
Anderson sighed. "Kaidan, I know it must be difficult, trying to balance your role as a Spectre and an ambassador for the Alliance, but I have faith in you. I know you'll do what's best for the mission, and the safety of the colonists."
Kaidan blinked. That was unexpected.
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate that."
Anderson nodded. "There's something I think you should know. Commander Shepard stopped by to see me. She was . . . concerned."
Kaidan's head jerked up. Shepard was visiting Anderson?
"I couldn't tell her everything, of course. Not until we're sure where her loyalties lie. But the Council has reinstated her Spectre status, unofficially. She claims Cerberus is investigating Collector abductions; your report confirmed that."
"Sir," Kaidan hesitated. Should he tell Anderson? It would be in the full report, anyway. Anderson should know. Did he have to know now? No. But the words tumbled out, anyway. "She claims she was dead, sir. She really believes it. And Joker saw her-"
"Joker's with Cerberus now, Alenko," Anderson reminded him.
"I know. But-"
"Resurrection is impossible, Commander." Anderson shook his head. "Reapers are one thing-we all saw Sovereign-but we don't know what Cerberus did to her. I believe that she believes it, but you know we can't trust Cerberus. And we can't trust her as long as she's under the Illusive Man's thumb."
Kaidan swallowed the bile rising in his throat. Anderson was right. He knew Anderson was right. That's exactly what he'd told Shepard. He'd believed it then. But now . . . now he just wanted her back.
"I understand, sir."