Performance Reviews
A tidied-up and slightly expanded version of a fic written for the STXI kink meme. Original can be found here.
Title: Performance Reviews
Series: Star Trek XI
Summary: Based on the prompt "5 times kirk did senior staff performance reviews and one time he received his (from pike)"
Pairing: Spock/Uhura, Kirk/Gaila
Rating: PG
Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery Scott, Chief Engineer (Engineering)
Jim looked at the papers in front of him, feeling a little harried. It was his first time, and he had no idea how to do most of this responsibility stuff. It didn't help that the first one up was an engineering genius several years older than him. "You're doing very good," he said at last. "I mean, really top, you're the best mechanic I've ever seen. There's just one little thing that I've noticed has been a regular issue."
"I's nah the still, is it? I could take that down, if it's too much of a worry for ye."
"No not at all - you have a still? Anyways, it's just, well, you save the ship about once a week, and regularly produce engineering miracles, but would it be too much to ask for you to get the transporters working for once and for all?"
Scotty's face fell. "Aye, captain. I'll see what I kin do aboot it."
Ensign Pavel Chekov, Navigator (Bridge)
If Jim had been nervous about performance reviews, Chekov was terrified. "Have I passed?" he asked timorously.
"What - yeah, of course. It's a performance review, not a final. No worries."
"B-but, I make so many mistakes! Just yesterday, I set the course completely wrong."
Jim frowned. "Really? I don't remember that, and I'm pretty sure that's the kind of thing that's hard to forget."
"You mean you did not notice? But we were off a whole two decimal places!"
Oh. "Look, it's not that big a deal. It doesn't even matter. Seriously."
"But Keptin! Two places is not a leetle mistake - it means I rounded pi completely wrong and -"
"Relax, Ensign. You're fine. You pass. Just one thing." Jim gave what he hoped was a friendly smile. "If you feel this stressed about your duties, for God's sake, go talk to a counselor about it."
Lt. Nyota Uhura, Communications Officer (Bridge)
She glared at him openly across the desk. He smirked back at her. "So, Nyota," he said, letting the name roll off his tongue.
"Liutenant Uhura to you," she snapped back. "Now, are you going to give me an actual review?"
"Oh alright. You've been doing great, honestly. You saved us from three diplomatic crises this month alone."
"Two of them which you started," she shot back, right on rhythm.
"Right, and you helped the Andorians and the Vulcans work on their land treaty, too. Plus, video footage of you and your boyfriend in the turbolifts indicate you've got quite that talented tongue."
"Are you going to take this seriously, or should I just leave now?" she asked him coldly.
"I can take this seriously," he insisted, trying to sound hurt.
"Yeah right. You're probably going to turn it into some roleplay sex scenario tonight anyways."
Lt. Gaila, Computers Officer (Engineering)
"So you're going to evaluate me?" she asked him seductively, play-pouting. Jim gave her a suggestive grin in return.
"I can't help it, Lieutenant. It's part of my duties, you know. I've studied your record very thoroughly. I must say, there are some parts in particular that have come to my attention."
"Oh, Captain Kirk, I've been so very naughty." She began to reach under her dangerously short skirt, sliding her underwear - a decidedly non-regulation black thong - down her supple green thighs.
"Maybe," he said, slipping his own shirt off, "there's some sort of favor you can do to make up for it..."
After they had finished, and lay panting in his bed, he asked her, "So, how were things in engineering today?"
Dr Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer (Science)
"So I think I'm supposed to evaluate you," explained Jim awkwardly.
"Well then, get on with it," Bones replied rather ominously. "Have you got any complaints for me?"
"Not in terms of your actual skill, but there have been some people who feel you don't, um, have much of a bedside manner. More specifically, they don't think you should swear at patients."
"I see. Well, if that's all, Jim, I'll be on my way." He stood up and stormed out . Jim bit his lip. Technically, they were supposed to try to work out any issues required. His thoughts drifted to memories of all the vaccines he'd had to get last time he tried to captain Bones (mostly for various STIs) and decided that maybe he could let this one go.
Cmdr. Spock, First Officer, Science Officer (Science)
Jim met the other man's too-dark, inhuman eyes straight on. All the clever, sarcastic remarks he had prepared died in his throat. Sure, he was a smartass, but he couldn't deny that there wasn't actually anything Spock had done wrong.
"Yes, Captain?" Spock asked, and if Jim didn't know that Vulcans were beyond emotion, he would have sworn he was being insolent.
"Carry on as usual," he said at last.
Cpt. James T. Kirk, USS Enterprise (Command)
Admiral Pike looked over the reports and sighed. "You've certainly had an interesting year, at least," he remarked.
Jim squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, feeling as though Pike had some sort of x-ray vision. "You could say that, sir."
"The number of diplomatic incidents, hostile first contacts, encounters with reality warpers, and out-logicked supercomputers is truly staggering," he continued. "There's even an admonition from a department of Temporal Investigations I don't think we even have yet."
"To be fair, a lot of those weren't my fault," Jim protested. "I just did my duty in the situation that came up."
To his surprise, Pike smiled at him. "I know. And you did a damn good job of it, too."
Title: Performance Reviews
Series: Star Trek XI
Summary: Based on the prompt "5 times kirk did senior staff performance reviews and one time he received his (from pike)"
Pairing: Spock/Uhura, Kirk/Gaila
Rating: PG
Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery Scott, Chief Engineer (Engineering)
Jim looked at the papers in front of him, feeling a little harried. It was his first time, and he had no idea how to do most of this responsibility stuff. It didn't help that the first one up was an engineering genius several years older than him. "You're doing very good," he said at last. "I mean, really top, you're the best mechanic I've ever seen. There's just one little thing that I've noticed has been a regular issue."
"I's nah the still, is it? I could take that down, if it's too much of a worry for ye."
"No not at all - you have a still? Anyways, it's just, well, you save the ship about once a week, and regularly produce engineering miracles, but would it be too much to ask for you to get the transporters working for once and for all?"
Scotty's face fell. "Aye, captain. I'll see what I kin do aboot it."
Ensign Pavel Chekov, Navigator (Bridge)
If Jim had been nervous about performance reviews, Chekov was terrified. "Have I passed?" he asked timorously.
"What - yeah, of course. It's a performance review, not a final. No worries."
"B-but, I make so many mistakes! Just yesterday, I set the course completely wrong."
Jim frowned. "Really? I don't remember that, and I'm pretty sure that's the kind of thing that's hard to forget."
"You mean you did not notice? But we were off a whole two decimal places!"
Oh. "Look, it's not that big a deal. It doesn't even matter. Seriously."
"But Keptin! Two places is not a leetle mistake - it means I rounded pi completely wrong and -"
"Relax, Ensign. You're fine. You pass. Just one thing." Jim gave what he hoped was a friendly smile. "If you feel this stressed about your duties, for God's sake, go talk to a counselor about it."
Lt. Nyota Uhura, Communications Officer (Bridge)
She glared at him openly across the desk. He smirked back at her. "So, Nyota," he said, letting the name roll off his tongue.
"Liutenant Uhura to you," she snapped back. "Now, are you going to give me an actual review?"
"Oh alright. You've been doing great, honestly. You saved us from three diplomatic crises this month alone."
"Two of them which you started," she shot back, right on rhythm.
"Right, and you helped the Andorians and the Vulcans work on their land treaty, too. Plus, video footage of you and your boyfriend in the turbolifts indicate you've got quite that talented tongue."
"Are you going to take this seriously, or should I just leave now?" she asked him coldly.
"I can take this seriously," he insisted, trying to sound hurt.
"Yeah right. You're probably going to turn it into some roleplay sex scenario tonight anyways."
Lt. Gaila, Computers Officer (Engineering)
"So you're going to evaluate me?" she asked him seductively, play-pouting. Jim gave her a suggestive grin in return.
"I can't help it, Lieutenant. It's part of my duties, you know. I've studied your record very thoroughly. I must say, there are some parts in particular that have come to my attention."
"Oh, Captain Kirk, I've been so very naughty." She began to reach under her dangerously short skirt, sliding her underwear - a decidedly non-regulation black thong - down her supple green thighs.
"Maybe," he said, slipping his own shirt off, "there's some sort of favor you can do to make up for it..."
After they had finished, and lay panting in his bed, he asked her, "So, how were things in engineering today?"
Dr Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer (Science)
"So I think I'm supposed to evaluate you," explained Jim awkwardly.
"Well then, get on with it," Bones replied rather ominously. "Have you got any complaints for me?"
"Not in terms of your actual skill, but there have been some people who feel you don't, um, have much of a bedside manner. More specifically, they don't think you should swear at patients."
"I see. Well, if that's all, Jim, I'll be on my way." He stood up and stormed out . Jim bit his lip. Technically, they were supposed to try to work out any issues required. His thoughts drifted to memories of all the vaccines he'd had to get last time he tried to captain Bones (mostly for various STIs) and decided that maybe he could let this one go.
Cmdr. Spock, First Officer, Science Officer (Science)
Jim met the other man's too-dark, inhuman eyes straight on. All the clever, sarcastic remarks he had prepared died in his throat. Sure, he was a smartass, but he couldn't deny that there wasn't actually anything Spock had done wrong.
"Yes, Captain?" Spock asked, and if Jim didn't know that Vulcans were beyond emotion, he would have sworn he was being insolent.
"Carry on as usual," he said at last.
Cpt. James T. Kirk, USS Enterprise (Command)
Admiral Pike looked over the reports and sighed. "You've certainly had an interesting year, at least," he remarked.
Jim squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, feeling as though Pike had some sort of x-ray vision. "You could say that, sir."
"The number of diplomatic incidents, hostile first contacts, encounters with reality warpers, and out-logicked supercomputers is truly staggering," he continued. "There's even an admonition from a department of Temporal Investigations I don't think we even have yet."
"To be fair, a lot of those weren't my fault," Jim protested. "I just did my duty in the situation that came up."
To his surprise, Pike smiled at him. "I know. And you did a damn good job of it, too."