So I want to say thank you.
First off, I'm very proud of myself. True, dinner didn't quite work as planned, but my kitchen now smells awesome.
Secondly...I thought this was taken off the psych ward list decades ago. I found it on psych posters plastered everywhere where I work. I wrote down the number and looked it up and wow.
Thirdly, and this one will take a bit, I made the mistake of thinking about social filters and how exactly they work in your life. For most people, these social filters are a fact of life. You present one part of yourself at work, and the people at work only know that side of your. Your family sees another part, this section of friends see another part, and generally only your good friends see a big part.
Most of the people where I work are rather conservative. Obama is insulted muchly -- and generally without strong evidence, just bashing -- as well as other threads of conversation where I would usually put in my two cents, usually heatedly. However, it's work, and I don't really care enough about them to waste my time letting them see past that particular social filter. That social filter is mostly in place to keep them the fuck away from me, as well as to make my life a little bit easier.
There's the military, of course. Definite social filter there. Let's start with "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," hmm? Still in place despite actions and protests against it. I've already been advised to use a pen name for my fiction (though I was told that my writing was pretty good -- ha). Pretty much a mandatory social filter in that setting. Can I do things? Why, yes. Should I? Probably not.
Social filter does not mean lying about yourself or promoting things you don't believe in (at least, I hope it doesn't). Honestly, for the most part, that doesn't bother me. If someone tries to get my opinion, I'll be nice about it, but I will be honest. Not always simple but it works for me.
Except...a friend from the military (I've mentioned her before) sent me a generous gift of which she knew I desperately needed. We're friends in the reserves, and we get along well, but it was always a work buddy before, not quite actual friends. This motion seems to change that. It seemed to move us from "work buddies" to "general friends." When it comes to actual friends, I try to be very honest about who I am, otherwise the friendship doesn't really seem like it could work. However, considering she believes homosexuality is unnatural, is a very conservative Christian, etc. etc. etc., I don't think I can actually freely switch social filters. I feel like if she knew me, there would be one hell of an uproar. "By the way, I prefer M/M fiction over straight romance. You want to read this? I want to get it published someday."
With so many people, it feels like a strong social filter is mandatory. Like, how freely can you share your more socially controversial hobbies with people in RL? On the 'net, it's pretty easy to find people who matches your general kinks. How well does it work in RL? How often can you freely be yourself without strong consequences?
With her, it's kind of open and shut, anyway. She's still military. I signed the contract, so I still have to keep my mouth shut. In other situations, though, I'm analyzing my actions and words and how they differ from conversation to conversation. Ugh.
Secondly...I thought this was taken off the psych ward list decades ago. I found it on psych posters plastered everywhere where I work. I wrote down the number and looked it up and wow.
Thirdly, and this one will take a bit, I made the mistake of thinking about social filters and how exactly they work in your life. For most people, these social filters are a fact of life. You present one part of yourself at work, and the people at work only know that side of your. Your family sees another part, this section of friends see another part, and generally only your good friends see a big part.
Most of the people where I work are rather conservative. Obama is insulted muchly -- and generally without strong evidence, just bashing -- as well as other threads of conversation where I would usually put in my two cents, usually heatedly. However, it's work, and I don't really care enough about them to waste my time letting them see past that particular social filter. That social filter is mostly in place to keep them the fuck away from me, as well as to make my life a little bit easier.
There's the military, of course. Definite social filter there. Let's start with "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," hmm? Still in place despite actions and protests against it. I've already been advised to use a pen name for my fiction (though I was told that my writing was pretty good -- ha). Pretty much a mandatory social filter in that setting. Can I do things? Why, yes. Should I? Probably not.
Social filter does not mean lying about yourself or promoting things you don't believe in (at least, I hope it doesn't). Honestly, for the most part, that doesn't bother me. If someone tries to get my opinion, I'll be nice about it, but I will be honest. Not always simple but it works for me.
Except...a friend from the military (I've mentioned her before) sent me a generous gift of which she knew I desperately needed. We're friends in the reserves, and we get along well, but it was always a work buddy before, not quite actual friends. This motion seems to change that. It seemed to move us from "work buddies" to "general friends." When it comes to actual friends, I try to be very honest about who I am, otherwise the friendship doesn't really seem like it could work. However, considering she believes homosexuality is unnatural, is a very conservative Christian, etc. etc. etc., I don't think I can actually freely switch social filters. I feel like if she knew me, there would be one hell of an uproar. "By the way, I prefer M/M fiction over straight romance. You want to read this? I want to get it published someday."
With so many people, it feels like a strong social filter is mandatory. Like, how freely can you share your more socially controversial hobbies with people in RL? On the 'net, it's pretty easy to find people who matches your general kinks. How well does it work in RL? How often can you freely be yourself without strong consequences?
With her, it's kind of open and shut, anyway. She's still military. I signed the contract, so I still have to keep my mouth shut. In other situations, though, I'm analyzing my actions and words and how they differ from conversation to conversation. Ugh.