Cas watches Dean sleep, like he has many times before, but this time feels different. For one thing, he feels even less welcome because of the attempted angel sigils used in hopes of warding him off.
But when Dean wakes up and Cas reveals himself, what he sees surprises him. He is not unwelcome. Cas wonders if Dean purposefully made mistakes in the sigils but decides it doesn't really matter.
"I'm sorry," Cas whispers and Dean's face softens.
"Why didn't you come to me, Cas?" Dean asks, but this time it's not a defensive move and Cas feels real freedom to answer.
"I did." He moves closer to Dean, who sits up. "But I realized then how much I'd already asked from you. And you finally had the one thing you wanted. A normal life. I couldn't bear to take that away from you. Then Crowley approached me, and he offered me a way to defeat Raphael without involving you. I thought I could outplay him, I thought it wouldn't matter. When you became involved it got a lot more complicated. But it was too late."
Dean reaches out and grabs Cas' wrist, pulling him closer. "It's not too late. I can help you. We can help you. " Dean guides Cas down to the couch next to him.
"How?" Cas asks, following Dean's direction.
"We can help you find Purgatory. We can gather the Alphas."
Cas eyes Dean warily. "What about Crowley?"
"The devil you know, right?"
"Exactly my thought when I agreed to work with Crowley."
Dean sighs. "Yeah, well, now that I've had time to think about it, I guess I was more pissed about the lying and sneaking around than I was about you working with Crowley. I mean, I've done the same thing."
Cas' lip curls in half a smile. "Yes, you have."
Dean's eyes jerk to Cas' his index finger admonishing him. "Hey, don't get cheeky."
"I apologize." After a beat, Cas adds, "for all of it."
Dean shrugs. "Yeah, well, just don't let it happen again. Don't know what I'd do without you, Cas."
"You'd be dead," Cas deadpans.
Dean chuckles darkly. "Yeah, probably." He leans back into the lumpy sofa. "Take a load off, Cas. You've had more than your share of crappy days lately. Cas complies and they sit there for a long while, shoulder to shoulder.
Dean is the one to make the first move. He reaches his arm across to clasp at Cas' own arm, his body turning into Cas'. He braces himself for Cas to clench up, but it never comes. Instead, Cas reaches his other arm across to the mark on Dean's shoulder and Dean instinctively shudders.
"I'm glad you're here, Cas."
"You have no idea," Cas breathes out.
Dean falls asleep shortly after and Cas sends him into deeper sleep before maneuvering them so they're splayed across the sofa, Dean heavy on Cas' chest. He runs his hand through Dean's hair and this simple act, this melding of their bodies, it feels like redemption.
Oh yay! It's been so long since I've written Dean/Cas fic that I've posted, even longer since I've written canon (as much as is possible) Dean/Cas, and even LONGER since I've done comment fic, so I was a bit nervous.
I'm so glad you liked it, especially since you're kind of the queen of comment fic :P
But when Dean wakes up and Cas reveals himself, what he sees surprises him. He is not unwelcome. Cas wonders if Dean purposefully made mistakes in the sigils but decides it doesn't really matter.
"I'm sorry," Cas whispers and Dean's face softens.
"Why didn't you come to me, Cas?" Dean asks, but this time it's not a defensive move and Cas feels real freedom to answer.
"I did." He moves closer to Dean, who sits up. "But I realized then how much I'd already asked from you. And you finally had the one thing you wanted. A normal life. I couldn't bear to take that away from you. Then Crowley approached me, and he offered me a way to defeat Raphael without involving you. I thought I could outplay him, I thought it wouldn't matter. When you became involved it got a lot more complicated. But it was too late."
Dean reaches out and grabs Cas' wrist, pulling him closer. "It's not too late. I can help you. We can help you. " Dean guides Cas down to the couch next to him.
"How?" Cas asks, following Dean's direction.
"We can help you find Purgatory. We can gather the Alphas."
Cas eyes Dean warily. "What about Crowley?"
"The devil you know, right?"
"Exactly my thought when I agreed to work with Crowley."
Dean sighs. "Yeah, well, now that I've had time to think about it, I guess I was more pissed about the lying and sneaking around than I was about you working with Crowley. I mean, I've done the same thing."
Cas' lip curls in half a smile. "Yes, you have."
Dean's eyes jerk to Cas' his index finger admonishing him. "Hey, don't get cheeky."
"I apologize." After a beat, Cas adds, "for all of it."
Dean shrugs. "Yeah, well, just don't let it happen again. Don't know what I'd do without you, Cas."
"You'd be dead," Cas deadpans.
Dean chuckles darkly. "Yeah, probably." He leans back into the lumpy sofa. "Take a load off, Cas. You've had more than your share of crappy days lately. Cas complies and they sit there for a long while, shoulder to shoulder.
Dean is the one to make the first move. He reaches his arm across to clasp at Cas' own arm, his body turning into Cas'. He braces himself for Cas to clench up, but it never comes. Instead, Cas reaches his other arm across to the mark on Dean's shoulder and Dean instinctively shudders.
"I'm glad you're here, Cas."
"You have no idea," Cas breathes out.
Dean falls asleep shortly after and Cas sends him into deeper sleep before maneuvering them so they're splayed across the sofa, Dean heavy on Cas' chest. He runs his hand through Dean's hair and this simple act, this melding of their bodies, it feels like redemption.
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Just so's you know.
*smothers you with hugs and love and gratitude for this*
:D :D :D :D :D
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I'm so glad you liked it, especially since you're kind of the queen of comment fic :P
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